Just curious: Why do SOME posters ask for help and then insult the responders.

[richard1rst]

If you are going to ask a question at least include all the information (not an edited and shortened version) and then don’t “dump” on the people who answer.

I and several others have answered questions asked, based on what information was given. Then, like clockwork, the OP responds with “No - actually what happened was” and they give additional and sometimes conflicting information that completely changed the story and, by extension, the answer we collectively would have given if we had known that to begin with.

I have noticed that when the answer they were given unsettles their preconceptions they turn catty and insulting. It seems that they were only looking for someone to commiserate with their problem not actually point out what they did wrong - or at least different from what the rest of us would have done.

In fairness it is not all of them. I and others have received big Thank Yous from some posters.

But there are quite a few who come on these boards to Kvetch and then insult the responders who disagree with them.

Reminds me of that old Monty Python sketch “I came here for an argument”

[femmefan1946]

The ones that are a real joy to deal with are those who accuse any member who explains the rules (and by extension how they messed up by ignoring the rules) as cheerleaders.

In the words of Joss Whedon;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwOORl2lwTQ

[bigdeals.etc]

You shut up @richard1rst !! You are totally incorrect. Wanna fight about it??

🙂

[*madison]

I don't mind, I like to see a bit of action even if I'm on the receiving end..

[soh.maryl]

"A little bit of action" -- okay, but I am weary of those who leave out relevant information, you try to answer on the basis of what you have been told and then are insulted by the OP because you didn't know all the facts (Because they couldn't be bothered to give you all the details).

[dhbookds]

Why do SOME posters ask for help and then insult the responders.

Simple answer is because they don't like the answer and were never taught to use please/thank you or even be polite. 

It seems that they were only looking for someone to commiserate

That is SO true....and something I have a hard time dealing with.  I know many consider me unsympathetic many times. To me, few sellers are unsympathetic to the problems sellers have; we know even the self inflicted ones can come from honest mistakes.  But many of my generation were taught not to be a "cry baby", not to tell your problems outside a close group of family/friends.  The world has changed and today, between facebook and all the big groups people belong to, sharing the pain of personal problems is the norm and getting sympathy/empathy is the result as opposed to solving the problem or quickly moving beyond the problem.  Of course that's a generalization. 

Personally, I try to ask questions first, to be sure I understand the problem and if I detect any resistance, I just leave the thread.  That's a cop out.........because most of us post not only for the poster, but for the many who read and don't post and sometimes I violate that rule for that reason, but one does get weary of the it's Ebay's fault/cheerleader mantra.  

[threshold.sales.group]

a. Likely some OP's just wanted to vent about a bad a situation. Online selling especially at volume is not easy. 

b. Many of the responses on the board are in fact insulting to the OP's

c. Some responses bring up issues that are not relevant or related at all to the OP's posted concern, so that naturally provokes a bad response. Some folks just want to "help".  

[hawkwind5454]

Part of it is because the [an] O/P possibly assumed that those reading the post should understand some points that would be a given, which is not always the case. Many people who respond to a post do not think their responses through. It sometimes becomes a shoot-from-the-hip knee-jerk reaction thread that is in response to a question. When someone posts a question on the boards, they cannot assume that those they are speaking to fully understand what they are asking with the information that they, the readers, are given. One would assume that if one states they dropped their cap into the ocean, that their cap would have become wet. The individual being told the story to asks if the cap got wet. The person telling the story would naturally assume that it was a given that the cap did indeed get wet. This is an extreme example but just parlays the fact that one cannot assume that one should actually know something without being specifically told.

[smileytown18]

I'd some it up as: Human nature, not at it's finest moment!

Yes, many people come here just to vent. They don't want to be bothered with the facts.

[webwanna]

If you are getting a lot of pushback from a lot of different OP's perhaps you need to re-consider your messaging or style. 

Not all help is helpful. 

[bonjourami]

Op's usually become very angry,even threatening, when they are not agreed with.

[ed8108]

---

@bonjourami wrote:

Op's usually become very angry,even threatening, when they are not agreed with.

---

We are in the age of entitlement 

[*madison]

People from all walks of life use ebay and the boards, so I don't expect everyone to be the same, I take the rough with the smooth..

My favourite response is when I answer a question and get called a troll when my answer is disliked, even though my answer is ebay policy..

[southern*sweet*tea]

Agreement by force - that's been the norm for the past decade or so. If you're not in lockstep agreement, you're some sort of lowlife troublemaker, which means it's okay to either physically or verbally abuse you. There is no room for polite, intelligent discussion of differing opinions anymore.  All must agree, and if you don't, you must be eliminated from the conversation.

[soh.maryl]

One of my favorites is when I am accused of being an eBay employee!