Tolerance for buyer rudeness

[bigdeals.etc]

We've all gotten that rude buyer who messages with aggressive words about an item they just received. We've been called scammers, rip offs, idiots, stupid, etc. It's one thing when the buyer is doing this after they bought something... you have to deal with them in a consistently polite and professional manner and provide that great customer service. But what if a buyer is doing this before even buying anything from you?

In their initial message to me (which has exclamation points and all caps where appropriate), the buyer rudely accuses me of trying to scam people because in one of my listings I have a picture of various colors to choose from and red being one of them. According to them I do not have red as a choice in the pull down menu when purchasing (they are mistaken). I reply that if they look at the entire pull down menu for color, they will see Red listed as a choice. Their reply begs to differ because they claimed to have looked thru ever single option and not see the Red... calling me a scam.

I then save that variation choice in my watched list so I have a direct link to it and copy/paste it to them so the Red is already chosen for them. The buyer then replies (with no mention of the Red) telling me okay, the shipping is way too expensive (calling it a rip off) and asks for a discount.

Would you continue to reply and do business with this person? They don't have many feedbacks nor left many of them. Can you foresee this buyer maybe being problematic down the road? And if so, I wouldn't even profit as much since the buyer is asking for discounts while being a burden. I understand that this issue could have been caused by eBay mobile app or site. But that shouldn't excuse the buyer's aggressive attitude. Perhaps I'm just being too picky about my buyers... dunno.

[goldenmeowie]

So many sellers are so quick to BLOCK a problem/rude/stupid customer, which is fine, sellers prerogative. 

I rarely get rude customers.  When I do, I'm still polite and don't tell them off because that can just make their bad attitude worse, you know like a bad boomerang and you wonder later how to get rid of their negative feedback.

I see sellers on this board who will BLOCK a customer simply for asking a stupid question. 

I wouldn't do that.  Alot of buyers need or want hand-holding.  You see it in retail.  Those stores like Nordstrom's that give the best service win the most customers with the most $$$s.  And good CSR service is FREE!! It costs a seller very little esp online to be nice and friendly to a buyer who needs hand-holding.  I wouldn't let a buyer take advantage of me by giving into them wanting it cheaper or wanting other stuff free that costs you, but neither would I just cut off and block a buyer.  I get questions on my items on the app offer up, and I answer as completely and quickly and politely as possible. I get a lot of customers who "flake" and find it elsewhere and my response to them is polite "Glad you found your item.  Good Luck!". That person may be back later to be interested in another item.

My boss (at my real job) has a different philosophy. Rather than ban problem customer from the store, i want him to come back so i can take MORE of his money.

That's the name of the game!! Their $$$$s!!!

[goldenmeowie]

That person may be back later to be interested in another item.

Or they may invite friends/family to buy from me later saying to them "this seller is nice and answers all questions fast and completely"

[goldenmeowie]

Of course my ways of doing things are radically different from online eBay sellers since I don't allow refunds nor returns.  I let the buyer know that before we meet.  The buyer had the time to test the item and look it over in person AND they can reject it after looking it over, but once they hand me the cash(and CASH is all I accept), then it's theirs.  No warranty & no eBay mbg & no possible reversal by any bank or CC or payment processor.

[jeannicho22]

---

@goldenmeowie wrote:

That person may be back later to be interested in another item.

Or they may invite friends/family to buy from me later saying to them "this seller is nice and answers all questions fast and completely"

---

Birds of a feather flock together.  If their family and friends behave similarly to the way the OP described his/her buyer behaved, I probably wouldn't want them as customers either.

Sellers are not dogs to kick down the road and lap at their masters as they are.  I try to never argue with a perspective buyer, but I will not allow them to demean me either.  I know there are people who will put up with any abuse just to get the $$$$ while telling themselves at least the made the sale, I'm not one of those people and I suspect many other sellers aren't.

[goldenmeowie]

Birds of a feather flock together.  If their family and friends behave similarly to the way the OP described his/her buyer behaved, I probably wouldn't want them as customers either.

Not always. Usually, it's just one member of a family that's a PITA.

Sellers are not dogs to kick down the road and lap at their masters as they are.  I try to never argue with a perspective buyer, but I will not allow them to demean me either.  I know there are people who will put up with any abuse just to get the $$$$ while telling themselves at least the made the sale, I'm not one of those people and I suspect many other sellers aren't.

I think too many private sellers "internalize" the rudeness rather than treat it as just a business transaction. You don't have to live with the rude customer (thank God) nor do you have to help them put on the item like shoes, clothes, etc like many brick & mortar csr's must do. So the transaction is limited to online communication. I'm fine with that.

[jeannicho22]

---

@goldenmeowie wrote:

Birds of a feather flock together.  If their family and friends behave similarly to the way the OP described his/her buyer behaved, I probably wouldn't want them as customers either.

Not always. Usually, it's just one member of a family that's a PITA.

Sellers are not dogs to kick down the road and lap at their masters as they are.  I try to never argue with a perspective buyer, but I will not allow them to demean me either.  I know there are people who will put up with any abuse just to get the $$$$ while telling themselves at least the made the sale, I'm not one of those people and I suspect many other sellers aren't.

I think too many private sellers "internalize" the rudeness rather than treat it as just a business transaction. You don't have to live with the rude customer (thank God) nor do you have to help them put on the item like shoes, clothes, etc like many brick & mortar csr's must do. So the transaction is limited to online communication. I'm fine with that.

---

No, not always are friends and family alike.  On the other hand, if family and friends know the person is an irrational demanding person, why would they take their advice?  I know of difficult people and I rarely listen to their advice on business dealings.  When I know someone is difficult, I certainly do not take their advice on which restaurants to frequent.  When I know someone is a scammer in general, I do not expect the get the same "deal" they got.

You call it "internalizing", I call it having some self respect.  What's more, I find that initial rudeness is just a sign of things to come.  If a buyer "comes at me" before I have dealings with them, I can only imagine how their behavior will progress once they actually have me over a barrel.  No, no, I don't need the headache of trying to pacify someone who has already shown they are irrational and demanding.   

In your self admitted dealings, you will do or say anything to get the sale, once done all bets are off.  I would rather spend my time forging relationships with good customers that I will continue to service.  Why?  because I just think it is a better use of my time.  Why go into a relationship just to get their money and then cut all ties via a "cash deal" that extends no warranty or follow up.

[goldenmeowie]

No, not always are friends and family alike.  On the other hand, if family and friends know the person is an irrational demanding person, why would they take their advice?  I know of difficult people and I rarely listen to their advice on business dealings.  When I know someone is difficult, I certainly do not take their advice on which restaurants to frequent

. 

I know lots of people who are difficult to deal with yet I've learned to listen to what they have to say. They have made me a better person for it. They demand a lot from themselves which is why they're that way with others.

When I know someone is a scammer in general, I do not expect the get the same "deal" they got.

Scammers I agree with you, but not with most bad buyers.
 

In your self admitted dealings, you will do or say anything to get the sale, once done all bets are off.  I would rather spend my time forging relationships with good customers that I will continue to service.  Why?  because I just think it is a better use of my time.  Why go into a relationship just to get their money and then cut all ties via a "cash deal" that extends no warranty or follow up.

Just because it's no refunds/no returns doesn't mean I'm not looking out for their interests either. If I believe an item is trash, I don't sell it. And I'm honest upfront with all customers. I still have good dealings with even customers you would consider "bad.". Later, they apologize for their rudeness and we become fast friends.

[comicallycomic]

First thing that came to my mind was "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!"

Yea abort, not much good can come from a character like that. Might get lucky but the odds of problems down the road are substantial.

[nkpina2014]

---

@bigdeals.etc wrote:

We've all gotten that rude buyer who messages with aggressive words about an item they just received. We've been called scammers, rip offs, idiots, stupid, etc. It's one thing when the buyer is doing this after they bought something... you have to deal with them in a consistently polite and professional manner and provide that great customer service. But what if a buyer is doing this before even buying anything from you?

In their initial message to me (which has exclamation points and all caps where appropriate), the buyer rudely accuses me of trying to scam people because in one of my listings I have a picture of various colors to choose from and red being one of them. According to them I do not have red as a choice in the pull down menu when purchasing (they are mistaken). I reply that if they look at the entire pull down menu for color, they will see Red listed as a choice. Their reply begs to differ because they claimed to have looked thru ever single option and not see the Red... calling me a scam.

I then save that variation choice in my watched list so I have a direct link to it and copy/paste it to them so the Red is already chosen for them. The buyer then replies (with no mention of the Red) telling me okay, the shipping is way too expensive (calling it a rip off) and asks for a discount.

Would you continue to reply and do business with this person? They don't have many feedbacks nor left many of them. Can you foresee this buyer maybe being problematic down the road? And if so, I wouldn't even profit as much since the buyer is asking for discounts while being a burden. I understand that this issue could have been caused by eBay mobile app or site. But that shouldn't excuse the buyer's aggressive attitude. Perhaps I'm just being too picky about my buyers... dunno.

---

Nope. Block and move on. No sale is worth the hassle, I've learned from experience. A person like that will never be satisfied, even if you ship them the red item. They'll exclaim "it's not red enough" or "it didn't ship quickly" or "there wasn't enough packing". It will always be something.

The same holds true for people in life that are like this. They will never be satisfied. Best to distance yourself from them.

[nkpina2014]

---

@moo*cow*corner wrote:

Tell them no discounts and then go raise the prices by $2 on each variation, except for the Red one. Raise the Red one by $5. Call it a rudeness entitlement fee.

---

I actually did this to a potential buyer. They messaged me very rudely and asked for a discount, based on a completely different item on another site. I explained that the item they linked was different, and due to their email, I price-checked my own item on Ebay and found mine was the lowest price by a substantial amount. I thanked them for making me price-check my item as I raised the price higher, but still lower than everything else.

Sold the item within 6 hours of raising the price.

The funny thing? The buyer messaged me back and asked me where the item went! I told the potential buyer that they weren't the only one eyeing the item, and when the price went up, someone else struck while the iron was hot. Instead of messaging me for a discount, push the "buy it now" button and get your item!

[sapphireseal]

---

@inhawaii wrote:

So many sellers are so quick to BLOCK a problem/rude/stupid customer, which is fine, sellers prerogative.

I see sellers on this board who will BLOCK a customer simply for asking a stupid question. 

My boss (at my real job) has a different philosophy. Rather than ban problem customer from the store, i want him to come back so i can take MORE of his money.

Just a thought.

---

If a real-life buyer came into a business and started calling the staff scammers and being rude, then I would 100% support a store manager who told them to get out.  A boss should stand up for their employees.  Retail workers are people, not punching bags. 

In this case most of us are our own "boss" and also our own "employee".  Personally I would pass up a sale rather than deal with someone calling me names, unless I was in immediate danger of starving to death if I passed up a sale.  Self-respect is worth something too.

[beardedbovine]

---

@sapphireseal wrote:

---

---

If a real-life buyer came into a business and started calling the staff scammers and being rude, then I would 100% support a store manager who told them to get out. 

---

I recently saw a woman lose her s... um, cool... on the manager at the post office and she was asked to leave.

[bigdeals.etc]

---

@beardedbovine wrote:

---

@sapphireseal wrote:

---

---

If a real-life buyer came into a business and started calling the staff scammers and being rude, then I would 100% support a store manager who told them to get out. 

---

I recently saw a woman lose her s... um, cool... on the manager at the post office and she was asked to leave.

---

Same here at the McDonald's. Pretty big scene. They called the security guard. Yes, there's a security guard at this McDonald's. Quite interesting because the Manager is still trying to be polite. But the security guard had no desire to do that and just stepped in front of the man and kept interrupting him and kept saying "You gotta go. You gotta go. Okay but we're done here. You gotta go!"

[myangelandmyprincess]

---

@bigdeals.etc wrote:

---

@beardedbovine wrote:

---

@sapphireseal wrote:

---

---

If a real-life buyer came into a business and started calling the staff scammers and being rude, then I would 100% support a store manager who told them to get out. 

---

I recently saw a woman lose her s... um, cool... on the manager at the post office and she was asked to leave.

---

Same here at the McDonald's. Pretty big scene. They called the security guard. Yes, there's a security guard at this McDonald's. Quite interesting because the Manager is still trying to be polite. But the security guard had no desire to do that and just stepped in front of the man and kept interrupting him and kept saying "You gotta go. You gotta go. Okay but we're done here. You gotta go!"

---

I was th manager of a food place in the mall food court.  Had a "customer" who ate half her shrimp and came back complaining she didn't get enough shrimp and wanted a refund.  I cooked the food and gave her extra shrimp because they were smaller than usual so I wasn't having it.   She got the security guard over there and he was backing her side!   I'm like what the what!?   She told me she was never coming there again and I'm like that's fine because even if you did we would refuse service to you.  

I was later told by other food places that she does that every wher to get free food