Scary--Unexpected Buyer Drove to My House and Dropped an Unacceptable Return

[qing_8432]

I am a new seller who just got started last year. I really need some help regarding the situations below.

Today between 10-11 am EST, a recent buyer showed up at my house and dropped her order as a return to my roommate because I was not home. My roommate was freaked out to encounter situation like this especially dealing with a stranger who know your address and came to your address without consent, which is very unexpected. I feel very scary and unsafe. My roommate stated that the reason why she accepted the item from the client was because the client told her that I already accepted the return, which was a lie.

Yes, we are in a negotiating process since 5/24/21. Here are our conversations in the return request:

Buyer: I am very sorry the hat is really too big for my head. I can drop off at **(my address) for you.

Me: Hi, as the item listing description stated, this item cannot be returned. All items are final sale. Best regards

Buyer: I will drop off the hat this morning around 12PM if it works for you. Thanks

The message above were the entire conversation.

Clearly, I did not accept the return. On the return page, Ebay also indicated "the buyer requested a return, but you're not obligated to accept a return for this item". So, we should have a choice as a seller if the return is unreasonable. To be honest, I also hope that I can take every return and make my buyers happy. But I have experienced people who already used the makeup product but still wish to return. Also, for clothing, the reason that I do not accept return is that many people would double-check if the products are new, never used, never applied because of the fear of the pandemic and wish to avoid unnecessary exposure. It is just a rule for my shop to not accept return to protect my clients. 

I do the best from my end:

1. maintain my products very well;

2. list the item in its true conditions with size and relevant information;

3. check the product quality before shipping out;

4. package the product well;

5. I am also very responsive to clients' messages. 

I feel that I already did my part and I tried the best. But I am feeling extremely uncomfortable and unsafe right now because of the unexpected visit. 

I have notified Ebay regarding this situation and waiting for their response.

If anyone else who experienced this before, can you please share how you handle that? Are we obligated to refund clients like this? As sellers, do we have any protections at all? Should we refund and afford the extra fee that occurred? This situation is really unfair and it is really very very scary. 

Would really appreciate if anyone can share some experience. Thanks in advance!

[mobley120]

"The OP mentioned; etc.."

That argument doesn't hold water, and you know it.

Think about it.

One can not use recent events, or past events, good or bad, to justify fear, and if that argument is deemed valid, then "all" of us just as well crawl under a rock.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful towards you or anyone else, it's just my views:

[chapeau-noir]

---

@mobley120 wrote:

"The OP mentioned; etc.."

That argument doesn't hold water, and you know it.

Think about it.

One can not use recent events, or past events, good or bad, to justify fear, and if that argument is deemed valid, then "all" of us just as well crawl under a rock.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful towards you or anyone else, it's just my views:

---

I'm not getting into the weeds with telling people how they should or shouldn't feel about something.  I'll just try to get into their shoes and understand where they are coming from.

[mobley120]

I know that, but we can never give in to fear, nor deemed it as a valid promise of justification of prejudging one individual... 

The OP's own description of the events, doesn't square up to the premise that you're presenting. 

If that premise is allowed, them the buyer of the hat, one lady, will become a sacrificial lamb for those who created the fear. 

And that is very very wrong. 

[pikabo-icu]

I respect @chapeau-noir on this board and find myself agreeing with the majority of their posts.

I don't want to get into a back & forth debate over this- and as a compassionate person, I don't want to dismiss somebody's fear out of hand.

That said, the OP wasn't even home when the buyer dropped off the item so it seems their race/ethnicity/sex etc is not relevant in this situation.

It is possible the buyer had no intention of being threatening. They left the item and didn't demand their refund prior to leaving the item. Perhaps they thought they were being helpful- maybe they didn't know how to repack without damaging the item. Maybe they are elderly and not internet savvy and really just wanted to return the hat.

My mom and/or my father-in-law both north of seventy would think this a friendly & helpful thing to do, returning in person. Not to mention they would find it much easier than navigating eBay's return policy.

I don't want the OP to be in fear but we also have to be realistic about what actually happened. 

If the buyer/returner threatened the OP then I would say call the police and report that- but we didn't read anything like that at all. 

Seller has refunded the buyer so I imagine this issue is solved and seller will never even meet that buyer in person- 

I suppose we all have our own threshold of what frightens us, I guess mine is just pretty high. 

Anyway, no disrespect or hard feelings toward anyone here.. We're all entitled to our own opinions & even when they differ I still respect & appreciate everyone's input.

Have a grand evening!!   CHEERS!  

[chapabargain]

Wow!
You sound like my Grandmother. (That's a good thing) 

@1grandmashope_1 

[chapabargain]

Get a PO box, or mailbox at a UPS store. 

[redmodelt]

Not to take anything away from what happened, but you need to read the Money Back and understand there is no such thing as no returns. Your rules do not over ride eBays return rules.

[chapeau-noir]

Go back and read my posts, please, and kindly stop putting words in my mouth.

[chapeau-noir]

I said nothing about the buyer.  the buyer does not concern me, I simply expressed sympathy for the op when she mentioned her nervousness about the assaults that had taken place and suggested a po box.

Anything else is jumping to conclusions and putting words in my mouth.  

[mobley120]

"Go back and read my posts, please, and kindly stop putting words in my mouth"

I didn't realize I was putting words in your mouth. I was merely trying to stress a view. The same as you stressing your view.

And I don't really have a silver tongue and I'm a bit raw in how I express my views. And at times, I might pull the covers off and state the obvious conclusions, in a harsh way, and that comes from how I grow up, like in, "speak your mind, boy, or I'll cut your tongue out." But I, myself do not require any sympathy in the light of that, although I seriously doubt  any sympathy would even be offered by the ECPP groups. 

And do note, in the OP's post, they clearly state, "business is business." And, in the underlining context of that statement, it would appear to me, sympathy doesn't hold a seat at the table, round. After all, the OP didn't seem to offer any sympathy to the buyer, did they? And just to mention, I'm not aware of eBay offering any sympathy: business is business. 

Life is a two-way street.

I truly understand your feelings of sympathy towards the OP, so, bless your heart. 

And I respect you, for it, but?

Have a great day

[mrfindit]

I wouldn't issue her a refund and I would tell her the hat is on the sidewalk if she wants to come back and get it.  She can't provide any tracking info to show she returned it, so she has nothing E-Bay can act on.

You sold her the hat.  It's hers to do do what she wants with. If she wants to give it away, that's on her.

[forward-motion]

Oh yeah, kill them with kindness. 

[mrfindit]

The customer isn't always right.  And you will never succeed in business if you believe that they are...

[forward-motion]

You don’t make a big deal out of little things. How much can this hat cost? Throw it out in the sidewalk? Yeah ok. You sound pleasant to deal with. 

[1grandmashope_1]

@chapabargain 

I woke up and started reading the back and forth on this post.  I am not one that thinks there is a boogie man behind every door, nor am I stupid.  When someone shows up at my home, not a child selling girl scout cookies or an uninvited guest, but in the realm of business, I deem that not only questionable, but it is inappropriate, particularly when they are unhappy with a transaction.

It is not okay...period.  They may well be well meaning, but they have gone waaaay beyond what is acceptable.  

I have spoken about an incident at the post office.  I let a person go ahead of me in their car because they seemed to be pushing for that.  What happened.....

They started screaming at me and flipping me off!  They were irate.  This was within the last 6 months.  This was for those drive up mail boxes.  

People have been under a lot of stress and some have reached their max.  I do NOT believe that showing up at someone's home to return something that they are not pleased with without it being consented to in advance is any way acceptable.  

With that said....I also have reiterated my feelings on opinions......"they are like a**ho***, everyone has one."  Myself included.

Thank you for chapabargin, you made my morning....

With kindness and hope for our future,

Grandma