Buyer sending threatening messages, help!

[riverwoodridge]

I’ve got a buyer who honestly seems more than a little unhinged and frankly, she’s got me worried. I refunded her in full, and provided receipts, PayPal transcripts and e-mail confirmation but she’s getting angrier and verbally abusive and now she’s making threats about getting my account blocked and social media. This is part of her latest message:

”take care and be careful
What you said to the customer ok ! It’s an advise ! Specially to me ! I know lot of people at Lush headquarter  I can talk about your store on eBay  and what you sell ! Ok ! Even in social media you don’t know who I am so becareful I’m not your friend or you dog”

Part of it could be language barrier (she’s French), but I’m freaked. Anything I can/should do?

[city*satins]

May 26-28: Agreed immediately to a full refund but she needs to cancel auctions. She does. Ask her to confirm she got a refund because my PayPal balance didn't change. She says yes, through eBay, not PayPal.

Why did you tell her that?  It's the seller who has to formally cancel, not the buyer.

You've been a member since 1998.  Did you just recently start selling?

You need to read some eBay selling policies and procedures.

[lintbrush*]

12k + decant listings

6k + sold

[webwanna]

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@turquoisetulips wrote:

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The OP is obviously stumped by this buyers behavior even to the point of believing this person could be unhinged . IMO it's unlikely the OP would feel this way  if they had actually done something to cause this sort of reaction . Tulips 

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People almost always leave out the portions of the story that reflect poorly on them.  This seller should have gone out of their way to be nice to this buyer.  That's a long time to wait for a refund. Now I know why the buyer said "... I'm not your dog...."  

I wouldn't even treat my dog that way.  

[webwanna]

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@turquoisetulips wrote:

Isn't a threat and a warning basically the same thing  ? Tulips 

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A threat is a statement of intention to cause injury or damage.  A warning is a statement or event that indicates a possible or impending danger or unpleasant situation. There's a difference. 

Warning a seller that they are violating policy or providing horrible customer service is certainly permitted on Ebay.  Telling them they are treating you like a dog falls into that category in my opinion.

[webwanna]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
I sell decants. I have photos of the large bottles to prove I'm pouring my samples from the original bottles. Most of them are from a company called LUSH. Buyer claims she used to work there so my prices are way inflated. I told her that the cost was so high because she had international shipping factored in.

Agreed with you that I may have to cut her off. I wrote 1 final communication, basically asking her if she was threatening me and given the amount of evidence I sent her, she's going to have to send me a receipt or e-mail copy showing me that PayPal denied her refund.

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The buyer was frustrated because it took so long to receive the refund.  You really need to keep enough funds in your Paypal account to cover refunds or be willing to add funds immediately when a refund request happens.  If Paypal has to process an e-check out of your bank account it takes up to an extra 4 business days.  That was on top of the already lengthy delay because of the misunderstanding and you being on vacation. 

Just because you have told them 5 times doesn't mean that the funds are visible on their end.  That's all a customer cares about ...

I really hope next time you won't respond to a customer that way.  Would you have liked receiving a message like that as a buyer?  Especially if the refund really was NOT there???  

Time to receive refund from you:   approximately 22 days

[luckythewinner]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
Here’s my previous message to her in the entirety
“I have told you over 5 times that you have already been refunded your money. I have given you e-mail receipts showing refund given on June 6 and deposited June 13, chats from PayPal and copies of PayPal’s own policy, saying that it is common for 3-5 business days. I have asked you several times to check your bank account or credit card for the money.
If you can’t be bothered to look at your accounts for your own money, I cannot help you. The money is already there.”

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I do not believe that PayPal refunds get returned to a credit card or a bank account. 

[moondogblues]

"I do not believe that PayPal refunds get returned to a credit card or a bank account. "

All my refunds have gone straight to my bank account.

[mkwertz1140]

I occasionally get questionable messages from potential buyers, and if they give me a bad vibe or are rude, I just ignore and block them.   Sounds like you’re dealing with an actual buyer, that, despite your refund/being a good seller is continuing to send harassing messages.  Just call ebay and the rep will look at the message history and likely tell you just to block them.  I always call customer service and report buyers if they make me feel uncomfortable or threaten to leave negative feedback, mostly because letting ebay know helps protect you just in case this person tries to open a claim in the future.  Hope that helps and most people are nice, great customers, but there’s always a few angry weirdos out there 🙂

[reallynicestamps]

French Quebec or French France? It's possible to drive across the Canadian border, but France is a long way away.

Usually these threats are exactly that unhinged threats from an unhinged person.

If you are getting these through eBay Messages, you can call Customer Service and ask them to look at the messages.

In the meantime.

Do NOT respond.

Don't even open the Messages or emails.

Delete Delete Delete.

If she is emailing you can mark her emails as spam or phishing. And report them to her email provider if they are physically threatening.

Delete Delete Delete.

[reallynicestamps]

@riverwoodridge 

“I have told you over 5 times that you have already been refunded your money.

I suspect she backs her PP account with a credit card.

Your refund would then go to her card, not her PP account.

And she doesn't know to look on her monthly invoice from her card for the credit.

Not your problem.

I wouldn't respond.

[riverwoodridge]

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@city*satins wrote:

May 26-28: Agreed immediately to a full refund but she needs to cancel auctions. She does. Ask her to confirm she got a refund because my PayPal balance didn't change. She says yes, through eBay, not PayPal.

Why did you tell her that?  It's the seller who has to formally cancel, not the buyer.

You've been a member since 1998.  Did you just recently start selling?

You need to read some eBay selling policies and procedures.

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I did. I quit when eBay cracked down on it, but as another member pointed out, decant sales are very  common now. I sell discontinued scents that you can't sample elsewhere.

[riverwoodridge]

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@tonf-21 wrote:

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@riverwoodridge wrote:

Here’s my previous message to her in the entirety
“I have told you over 5 times that you have already been refunded your money. I have given you e-mail receipts showing refund given on June 6 and deposited June 13, chats from PayPal and copies of PayPal’s own policy, saying that it is common for 3-5 business days. I have asked you several times to check your bank account or credit card for the money.

If you can’t be bothered to look at your accounts for your own money, I cannot help you. The money is already there.”

I was not as polite as I should have been, but does it come across as threatening?

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I can see how this tone could get a buyer upset, the presence or absence of threats at that stage doesn't matter as much as the tone of exasperation.  Sometimes, when a buyer asks the same question I do one of two things:

Rinse and repeat (like not a word off from the first answer).

Radio silence.

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I'll do that in the future, thank you.

[riverwoodridge]

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@webwanna wrote:

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@turquoisetulips wrote:

---

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The OP is obviously stumped by this buyers behavior even to the point of believing this person could be unhinged . IMO it's unlikely the OP would feel this way  if they had actually done something to cause this sort of reaction . Tulips 

---

People almost always leave out the portions of the story that reflect poorly on them.  This seller should have gone out of their way to be nice to this buyer.  That's a long time to wait for a refund. Now I know why the buyer said "... I'm not your dog...."  

I wouldn't even treat my dog that way.  

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I wrote out the entire story, including the parts that didn't reflect well on me. And I went out of my way to be nice to this seller. This was my 10th message to her after I'd sent her various proofs that I'd sent a refund and asking her if she got anything.

I agree that it's a long time to wait for a refund, but she was the one who told me that yes, she had her refund right before I left for vacation, and I'd transferred money out of my account already. At that point, it was already over a week from the date of sale. It was a misunderstanding, but it wasn't like I was deliberately screwing her over. As far as I knew, she had her money.

[riverwoodridge]

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@webwanna wrote:

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
I sell decants. I have photos of the large bottles to prove I'm pouring my samples from the original bottles. Most of them are from a company called LUSH. Buyer claims she used to work there so my prices are way inflated. I told her that the cost was so high because she had international shipping factored in.

Agreed with you that I may have to cut her off. I wrote 1 final communication, basically asking her if she was threatening me and given the amount of evidence I sent her, she's going to have to send me a receipt or e-mail copy showing me that PayPal denied her refund.

---

The buyer was frustrated because it took so long to receive the refund.  You really need to keep enough funds in your Paypal account to cover refunds or be willing to add funds immediately when a refund request happens.  If Paypal has to process an e-check out of your bank account it takes up to an extra 4 business days.  That was on top of the already lengthy delay because of the misunderstanding and you being on vacation. 

Just because you have told them 5 times doesn't mean that the funds are visible on their end.  That's all a customer cares about ...

I really hope next time you won't respond to a customer that way.  Would you have liked receiving a message like that as a buyer?  Especially if the refund really was NOT there???  

Time to receive refund from you:   approximately 22 days

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This was in reply after she'd called me a liar and a thief, plus left me negative feedback and asked for her money AFTER I'd gotten the PayPal notice that the refund had posted. I sent her the receipts, the notice that the refund had posted and a chat transcript from PayPal where I'd asked them to make sure she had gotten her money.

If she had complained about the length of time for the refund, I would have apologized profusely and explained that I had moved funds because I was going on vacation. If she had sent me a screenshot of PayPal denying her funds or an e-mail saying her funds were unavailable, I would have written to them on her behalf. She just kept insisting she had no refund, when PayPal and eBay both said they were in her account and I had double checked my bank account to make sure the transfer had happened. And she wouldn't answer me when I asked her if she'd checked her PayPal balance, bank account, and/or credit card. She said I was treating her like she was stupid.

[mkwertz1140]

If people send you messages on eBay (or anywhere online for that matter) that you wouldn’t tolerate in person, respond kindly, block them, and report to eBay with a phone call.  Go about your day and be happy you’re not a miserable person.  🙂