Buyer sending threatening messages, help!

[riverwoodridge]

I’ve got a buyer who honestly seems more than a little unhinged and frankly, she’s got me worried. I refunded her in full, and provided receipts, PayPal transcripts and e-mail confirmation but she’s getting angrier and verbally abusive and now she’s making threats about getting my account blocked and social media. This is part of her latest message:

”take care and be careful
What you said to the customer ok ! It’s an advise ! Specially to me ! I know lot of people at Lush headquarter  I can talk about your store on eBay  and what you sell ! Ok ! Even in social media you don’t know who I am so becareful I’m not your friend or you dog”

Part of it could be language barrier (she’s French), but I’m freaked. Anything I can/should do?

[riverwoodridge]

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@reallynicestamps wrote:

French Quebec or French France? It's possible to drive across the Canadian border, but France is a long way away.

Usually these threats are exactly that unhinged threats from an unhinged person.

If you are getting these through eBay Messages, you can call Customer Service and ask them to look at the messages.

In the meantime.

Do NOT respond.

Don't even open the Messages or emails.

Delete Delete Delete.

If she is emailing you can mark her emails as spam or phishing. And report them to her email provider if they are physically threatening.

Delete Delete Delete.

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She's French French. If she'd been local, i probably would have sent her a sample gratis, but shipping costs more than the product. Among her various complaints was how dare I charge $22 for a sample and I had to tell her $14 of that was postage, according to  eBay's own shipping calculator.

[alturi_64]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:

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@city*satins wrote:

May 26-28: Agreed immediately to a full refund but she needs to cancel auctions. She does. Ask her to confirm she got a refund because my PayPal balance didn't change. She says yes, through eBay, not PayPal.

Why did you tell her that?  It's the seller who has to formally cancel, not the buyer.

You've been a member since 1998.  Did you just recently start selling?

You need to read some eBay selling policies and procedures.

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I did. I quit when eBay cracked down on it, but as another member pointed out, decant sales are very  common now. I sell discontinued scents that you can't sample elsewhere.

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It is still against the rules. then again some sellers think they can break the rules console and they come back the forms eventually, and complain when they get suspended.

You do realize that by posting here publicly thousands people are reporting your listings as we speak?

[webwanna]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:

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If she had complained about the length of time for the refund, I would have apologized profusely and explained that I had moved funds because I was going on vacation. If she had sent me a screenshot of PayPal denying her funds or an e-mail saying her funds were unavailable, I would have written to them on her behalf. She just kept insisting she had no refund, when PayPal and eBay both said they were in her account and I had double checked my bank account to make sure the transfer had happened. And she wouldn't answer me when I asked her if she'd checked her PayPal balance, bank account, and/or credit card. She said I was treating her like she was stupid.

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Did the first refund you sent bounce?  Why did Ebay's system show a refund for the buyer?  You do realize that if Ebay's system shows a refund is being processed that a buyer will assume the refund will clear.... right?  Buyers can't see what's in your account.   So, you can't blame a buyer for not knowing that the refund isn't going to clear.  

Regardless, it seems like this customer was patient for her refund until about June 14th.  So she gave you about 17 days to process a refund and then she went bananas.  Being patient for 17 days is pretty unbelievable IMHO.   

[city*satins]

I would still like to know why you told her this, and what you think she did, and what you think you did.

Knowing in hindsight that whatever it was that you did - it didn't involve actually refunding her.

May 26-28: Agreed immediately to a full refund but she needs to cancel auctions. She does.

You do realize, I hope, that the buyer can not cancel your auction? (order/sale  whatever.)  The seller has to do this?

Ask her to confirm she got a refund because my PayPal balance didn't change. 

Why would expect your balance to change if you didn't have sufficient funds in  your Paypal account to pay for the refund?  You said later in the same post:

 I send her screenshots of both the completed refund receipts and the echecks PayPal took from  my account to pay for the refund.

If your buyer paid for her purchases on May 25 and there was immediately a noticeable problem that involved cancelling the next day, why did you not have the necessary funds in Paypal to refund the buyer ?   Did you withdraw them immediately after receiving them, without checking first that the transaction was going to proceed normally?

[city*satins]

Basically, it appears that the 'threat' is to spread the word to LUSH and whatever passes for her social media contacts, that she had a bad experience dealing with you.

That's not a violation of any eBay policy that I'm aware of.

A threat eBay would care about would include things like:

• a threat of bodily harm
• a threat of negative feedback if you didn't do something required of you by the terms of the sale's contract

Her message didn't convey either of those.  Threatening to tell everybody that'll listen that their experience with a seller was an unpleasant one, is not only not a policy violation to make, but it also not a policy violation to carry out.

The only people who can't get away with that are those who sign a contract that includes terms that include a non disparagement clause.  And eBay buyers don't.

[riverwoodridge]

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@webwanna wrote:

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@riverwoodridge wrote:

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If she had complained about the length of time for the refund, I would have apologized profusely and explained that I had moved funds because I was going on vacation. If she had sent me a screenshot of PayPal denying her funds or an e-mail saying her funds were unavailable, I would have written to them on her behalf. She just kept insisting she had no refund, when PayPal and eBay both said they were in her account and I had double checked my bank account to make sure the transfer had happened. And she wouldn't answer me when I asked her if she'd checked her PayPal balance, bank account, and/or credit card. She said I was treating her like she was stupid.

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Did the first refund you sent bounce?  Why did Ebay's system show a refund for the buyer?  You do realize that if Ebay's system shows a refund is being processed that a buyer will assume the refund will clear.... right?  Buyers can't see what's in your account.   So, you can't blame a buyer for not knowing that the refund isn't going to clear.  

Regardless, it seems like this customer was patient for her refund until about June 14th.  So she gave you about 17 days to process a refund and then she went bananas.  Being patient for 17 days is pretty unbelievable IMHO.   

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I kept all the funds in my balance until I received the first message from her saying she received a refund from eBay. That was May 28 or so. Since I was leaving the next day, I transferred funds to my account next day May 29. 

The thing is, June 13, I received the all clears from PayPal, saying refund was available and she had cash. June 14 is when she flipped out. That’s why I sent her all the receipts and transcripts because it showed that yes, funds are available to her now and yes, I sent the refund June 6, day after she sent me her PayPal request showing she didn’t get a refund May 28.

[riverwoodridge]

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@city*satins wrote:

I would still like to know why you told her this, and what you think she did, and what you think you did.

Knowing in hindsight that whatever it was that you did - it didn't involve actually refunding her.

May 26-28: Agreed immediately to a full refund but she needs to cancel auctions. She does.

You do realize, I hope, that the buyer can not cancel your auction? (order/sale  whatever.)  The seller has to do this?

Ask her to confirm she got a refund because my PayPal balance didn't change. 

Why would expect your balance to change if you didn't have sufficient funds in  your Paypal account to pay for the refund?  You said later in the same post:

 I send her screenshots of both the completed refund receipts and the echecks PayPal took from  my account to pay for the refund.

If your buyer paid for her purchases on May 25 and there was immediately a noticeable problem that involved cancelling the next day, why did you not have the necessary funds in Paypal to refund the buyer ?   Did you withdraw them immediately after receiving them, without checking first that the transaction was going to proceed normally?

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Sorry if it was unclear, I did cancel the auction, I just asked her to agree to canceling the auction first instead of giving her an instant refund so I wouldn’t be on the hook for seller’s fees. eBay is also supposed to automatically refund them the money when it’s canceled.

I kept all funds in my PayPal balance until I received the May 28 reply from her saying that yes, she got a refund. Since she said it was ok, I transferred funds. So I kept the funds on hand almost a week and only transferred them once she (erroneously) said she got a refund and I assumed everything was ok.

[turquoisetulips]

I was not as polite as I should have been, but does it come across as threatening? riverwoodridge 

No you weren't threatening .  Your message was just matter of fact . Sometimes being '' matter of fact '' isn't even  enough to get through to these types of people .  At this point a rude response  wouldn't make any difference . You  certainly don't want her business back  anyway.  Tulips 

[turquoisetulips]

Yes, maybe, but as a seller, you still have to be polite. The buyer can report a seller so we don't want that. sunnysouth 

Reporting a seller is one thing  but the outcome of being reported is quite another .  If this '' buyer ''  reported the op / seller  for being  rude    I'm sure e bay would read the correspondence  between  them and then congratulate  the seller for their restraint .  Tulips 

[turquoisetulips]

You do realize that by posting here publicly thousands people are reporting your listings as we speak? alturi to the OP  

Thousands  of people ? I can't even imagine a handful  even caring about it truthfully  .  Tulips 

[turquoisetulips]

People almost always leave out the portions of the story that reflect poorly on them.  webwanna 

The OP has since shared the entire correspondence . I honestly don't see any reason to believe the buyer in this case  was treated badly,,, especially on purpose  . As a buyer myself  I doubt I'd ever  hesitate  to do business  with the OP .They seem quite level headed  . Tulips 

[webwanna]

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@turquoisetulips wrote:

People almost always leave out the portions of the story that reflect poorly on them.  webwanna 

The OP has since shared the entire correspondence . I honestly don't see any reason to believe the buyer in this case  was treated badly,,, especially on purpose  . As a buyer myself  I doubt I'd ever  hesitate  to do business  with the OP .They seem quite level headed  . Tulips 

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The seller bounced a refund with the buyer.  Is blaming the BUYER for that bounced refund.  Made the buyer wait about 22 days for a refund.  Sent the buyer a nasty note because the buyer kept inquiring about where the refund was.

There's no hope if that is what passes for good customer service on Ebay.  

[city*satins]

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@turquoisetulips wrote:

I was not as polite as I should have been, but does it come across as threatening? riverwoodridge 

No you weren't threatening .  Your message was just matter of fact . Sometimes being '' matter of fact '' isn't even  enough to get through to these types of people .  At this point a rude response  wouldn't make any difference . You  certainly don't want her business back  anyway.  Tulips 

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I thought the OP was referring to the buyer's message(s) not her own when she said it.

[city*satins]

That’s why I sent her all the receipts and transcripts because it showed that yes, funds are available to her now 

For future, you (and all sellers) should be aware that just because your funds have cleared OUT of your own account(s) - (bank or Paypal or credit card)  doesn't mean that they've cleared INTO the other party's.

[city*satins]

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@turquoisetulips wrote:

You do realize that by posting here publicly thousands people are reporting your listings as we speak? alturi to the OP  

Thousands  of people ? I can't even imagine a handful  even caring about it truthfully  .  Tulips 

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The OP ended her listings and currently she has nothing for sale.

I don't personally care, but I also wouldn't purchase a decanted scent or cosmetic in a zillion years any more than I would buy some decanted  Heinz 57 or or Preparation H or Delsym or Nature Made Vitamin E.