Buyer sending threatening messages, help!

[riverwoodridge]

I’ve got a buyer who honestly seems more than a little unhinged and frankly, she’s got me worried. I refunded her in full, and provided receipts, PayPal transcripts and e-mail confirmation but she’s getting angrier and verbally abusive and now she’s making threats about getting my account blocked and social media. This is part of her latest message:

”take care and be careful
What you said to the customer ok ! It’s an advise ! Specially to me ! I know lot of people at Lush headquarter  I can talk about your store on eBay  and what you sell ! Ok ! Even in social media you don’t know who I am so becareful I’m not your friend or you dog”

Part of it could be language barrier (she’s French), but I’m freaked. Anything I can/should do?

[turquoisetulips]

I'm not even sure if it is really a threat against you or a warning for YOU that YOUR behavior is inappropriate. webwanna 

Isn't a threat and a warning basically the same thing  ? Tulips 

[riverwoodridge]

Here’s my previous message to her in the entirety
“I have told you over 5 times that you have already been refunded your money. I have given you e-mail receipts showing refund given on June 6 and deposited June 13, chats from PayPal and copies of PayPal’s own policy, saying that it is common for 3-5 business days. I have asked you several times to check your bank account or credit card for the money.

If you can’t be bothered to look at your accounts for your own money, I cannot help you. The money is already there.”

I was not as polite as I should have been, but does it come across as threatening?

[riverwoodridge]

It’s the comment about how I don’t know who she is in social media, so be careful. I don’t know if she’s saying she’s an influencer or if that’s a stalking threat.

[sunnysouth1]

@riverwoodridge ,

No, it wasn't a threatening message, but it wasn't polite either. When dealing with buyers always be polite and then if they continue to harass you just advise that they call eBay to get help.

[a_c_green]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
I was not as polite as I should have been, but does it come across as threatening?

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Exasperated (understandably) but not threatening. 

At this point, though, you're done. Just stop responding any further; there is nothing left to say. Once she stops getting replies from you, all of which seemed to get her freshly torqued-off each time, she will probably find someone else to get mad at, sooner rather than later. I seriously doubt that you were the first, and I'm sure you will not be the last, but I would expect her to move on.

I don't think she has the mental capacity to maintain running arguments with more than one seller, and in any case, sellers who do respond to her messages will keep her attention focused more than those who just stop answering.

[myangelandmyprincess]

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@sunnysouth1 wrote:

@riverwoodridge ,

No, it wasn't a threatening message, but it wasn't polite either. When dealing with buyers always be polite and then if they continue to harass you just advise that they call eBay to get help.

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Maybe the first five replies were

polite and the buyer just wasn’t getting it with polite messages 

[sunnysouth1]

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@myangelandmyprincess wrote:

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@sunnysouth1 wrote:

@riverwoodridge ,

No, it wasn't a threatening message, but it wasn't polite either. When dealing with buyers always be polite and then if they continue to harass you just advise that they call eBay to get help.

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Maybe the first five replies were

polite and the buyer just wasn’t getting it with polite messages 

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Yes, maybe, but as a seller, you still have to be polite. The buyer can report a seller so we don't want that.

[myangelandmyprincess]

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@sunnysouth1 wrote:

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@myangelandmyprincess wrote:

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@sunnysouth1 wrote:

@riverwoodridge ,

No, it wasn't a threatening message, but it wasn't polite either. When dealing with buyers always be polite and then if they continue to harass you just advise that they call eBay to get help.

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Maybe the first five replies were

polite and the buyer just wasn’t getting it with polite messages 

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Yes, maybe, but as a seller, you still have to be polite. The buyer can report a seller so we don't want that.

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I don’t see anything reportable in the sellers message.   I’ve dealt in customer service for my entire working life.  Yes you need to be polite and understanding when customers have problems but there is also a time you put your foot down and end the discussion with a customer who is just being unreasonable 

[sunnysouth1]

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@myangelandmyprincess wrote:

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@sunnysouth1 wrote:

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@myangelandmyprincess wrote:

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@sunnysouth1 wrote:

@riverwoodridge ,

No, it wasn't a threatening message, but it wasn't polite either. When dealing with buyers always be polite and then if they continue to harass you just advise that they call eBay to get help.

---

Maybe the first five replies were

polite and the buyer just wasn’t getting it with polite messages 

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Yes, maybe, but as a seller, you still have to be polite. The buyer can report a seller so we don't want that.

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I don’t see anything reportable in the sellers message.   I’ve dealt in customer service for my entire working life.  Yes you need to be polite and understanding when customers have problems but there is also a time you put your foot down and end the discussion with a customer who is just being unreasonable 

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@myangelandmyprincess ,

I posted my opinion and of course, the OP can decide how they want to address this.
I advised the OP to ignore further messages. The buyer can report any messages the seller sends. Whether eBay does anything about it or not is not certain. We haven't seen all the messages between the OP and the buyer so I was just advising to ignore any more messages in an attempt to end it.

[riverwoodridge]

Sorry, I wrote the full timeline out at first and it turned into a novel. In short:

May 25: Sold 2 samples in 2 separate transactions to same seller. She paid for international shipping twice. Wrote her, offering a free sample or shipping refund if I could mail together. She didn't know it was a sample although I had "2ml sample" listed in title and description and highlighted.

May 26-28: Agreed immediately to a full refund but she needs to cancel auctions. She does. Ask her to confirm she got a refund because my PayPal balance didn't change. She says yes, through eBay, not PayPal.

May 29: I send out all pending sales, shut down all auctions and leave on vacation

June 1: Check my e-mail and find out no, she misread and didn't get the refund. eBay has it listed as "unpaid item" in my auctions. I send her the screenshot and tell her I may need to contact them to sort this out, and I'm on vacation so it may take a few days.

June 2: She says OK, enjoy your vacation.

June 5: She sends a PayPal dispute.

June 6: I refund her in full and apologize for the trouble. I write at least 2 e-mails asking her to confirm she got the refund and screenshot the receipts.

June 9: She says yes, it's pending. i say great, and apologize for the trouble, but ask her not to leave negative feedback please since the delayed refund was due to a misunderstanding.

June 13: I get notices from PayPal that the refund completed and money was taken from my bank.

June 14: She sends a series of very angry e-mails demanding her money and a screenshot of PayPal saying dispute is closed

June 14: I send her screenshots of both the completed refund receipts and the echecks PayPal took from  my account to pay for the refund. She gets angrier and accuses me of being a thief who overcharges. She also leaves me negative feedback. I call PayPal and ask if the refund completed on her end and how it would post to her account. They said it did and credit cards may take an additional 72 hours to post. Screenshot chat transcript, send it to her.

June 15: she demands her money and says I had no reason to take a month. I tell her it's there, I didn't think it was fair of her to leave negative feedback when I've tried to be accommodating and it only took so long because she initially said she had a refund.

June 16:  Sends increasingly angrier e-mails, including the quoted one.

[riverwoodridge]

I sell decants. I have photos of the large bottles to prove I'm pouring my samples from the original bottles. Most of them are from a company called LUSH. Buyer claims she used to work there so my prices are way inflated. I told her that the cost was so high because she had international shipping factored in.

Agreed with you that I may have to cut her off. I wrote 1 final communication, basically asking her if she was threatening me and given the amount of evidence I sent her, she's going to have to send me a receipt or e-mail copy showing me that PayPal denied her refund.

[southern*sweet*tea]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
I sell decants.

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You know that's against Ebay policy, right?

https://www.ebay.com/help/policies/prohibited-restricted-items/used-cosmetics-policy?id=4290

Not allowed

• Used cosmetics
• Used makeup sponges or applicators
• Cosmetics, colognes, perfumes, lotions which do not come in the original container

[myangelandmyprincess]

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@southern*sweet*tea wrote:

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
I sell decants.

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You know that's against Ebay policy, right?

https://www.ebay.com/help/policies/prohibited-restricted-items/used-cosmetics-policy?id=4290

Not allowed

• Used cosmetics
• Used makeup sponges or applicators
• Cosmetics, colognes, perfumes, lotions which do not come in the original container

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I was just going to say I thought that was against policy 

[tonf-21]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:

Here’s my previous message to her in the entirety
“I have told you over 5 times that you have already been refunded your money. I have given you e-mail receipts showing refund given on June 6 and deposited June 13, chats from PayPal and copies of PayPal’s own policy, saying that it is common for 3-5 business days. I have asked you several times to check your bank account or credit card for the money.

If you can’t be bothered to look at your accounts for your own money, I cannot help you. The money is already there.”

I was not as polite as I should have been, but does it come across as threatening?

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I can see how this tone could get a buyer upset, the presence or absence of threats at that stage doesn't matter as much as the tone of exasperation.  Sometimes, when a buyer asks the same question I do one of two things:

Rinse and repeat (like not a word off from the first answer).

Radio silence.

[city*satins]

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@riverwoodridge wrote:
I sell decants. I have photos of the large bottles to prove I'm pouring my samples from the original bottles. Most of them are from a company called LUSH. 

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Quit doing that. It's not allowed on eBay.

You're the second seller we've had to tell this to in the last couple of months.

What's up with these decants? Sellers really need to knock it off.