I am sorry to hear you had a problem with this buyer. It happens eventually. Personally, I would like to see it happen less than one time in 100 sales, but that is not the case anymore.
As others have said, anytime someone opens a not as described, defective, broken type case, you are stuck paying for return shipping regardless and taking returns no matter what. If you select to not accept returns, then you deny buyer remorse returns, which simply means you are guaranteed an Item Not Described or similar because the buyer does not want it anymore. The buyer's know which option to select to avoid paying for return shipping. Once in a great while you will get a good, honest buyer who would select a buyer's remorse return and pay for return shipping, but it is a rare bread of buyer. I simply changed all of my listings to Seller Pays for return simply because I am going to pay anyway.
May as well hope it places me higher in the search algorithm and makes buyers honest when they no longer have to pay for buyer's remorse.
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If someone reaches out to me and says broken via a message, they will often send a picture. If I see a picture and it is obvious I made a mistake, I just refund immediately and apologize. Otherwise, if a buyer reaches out, the proper answer is "Please open a case and return for a full refund."
That said, I like to feel the buyer out based on prior feedback left and what they are saying. I like to wrap that answer in Listen, Apologize, Satisfy, Thank.
You might say, "
Thank you for bringing this to my attention and allowing me the opportunity resolve this issue.
I am very sorry XYZ arrive damaged; I clearly should have ABC.
Please provide a clear picture, which I am asking for because I need it for insurance. After I receive the picture, I will put it down in eBay as buyer requests to undo/cancel the entire transaction and immediately receive a full, complete refund right-now/today with no need to return the item.
If, however, you are unable to provide a picture, you are welcome to open an case and return the item for a full refund.
Thank you"
The reasoning for this is buyers like to be be agreed with and listened to. You basically parrot back what they tell you regardless of whether it makes any sense to demonstrate you are paying attention, and you say you are sorry regardless of how you really feel - make it at least seem sincere no matter what, and if the buyer is right, try and put yourself in the buyer's shoes of getting a broken item being still out the good item and the money while now needing to re-order and pay again while getting the refund on the back-end. Some may not have financial reserves to buy the item until the refund arrives first. ALWAYS show you are listening and ALWAYS apologize.
I tend to use a reply like this because it does not come across as not trusting the buyer, but makes them prove they are not scramming you for a refund. If they take option #1, it saves you the return shipping, and they get their refund faster.
Option #2 is MANDATORY language to write the buyer in my opinion taken from the Money Back Guarantee. Basically, you really must say, "return for a full refund." <<== These words are almost magic, and they must ALWAYS be offered.
Always close with a Thank You.
Next, always be responsive. Nobody wants to message you then wait four days.
If a case opens, respond immediately and accept it providing return postage. If eBay grants the return, you loose the item and your money AND get a defect AND do NOT get your fees back.
The one exception is you can provide a tracking number for a not received. If it is still in transit, you might do a package intercept in an attempt to get your item back, but do NOT tell the buyer this. Many who file a not received claim are trying to get the refund and the item too.
