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Don’t shoot the messenger.

Group one

 

I routinely see posters come on these boards seeking advice on the best way to do something, or advice on how to deal with a problem that has arisen, or seeking an understanding of eBay’s rules and policies - etc.

 

I routinely see a large and obviously well informed cadre of posters who respond with valid and useful advice.

 

I routinely see that advice rewarded with “helpful” clicks, “acceptance as a solution” and sometimes just a simple Thank you.

 

Group two

 

I routinely see posters come on these boards seeking advice on the best way to do something, or advice on how to deal with a problem that has arisen, or seeking an understanding of eBay’s rules and policies - etc.

 

I routinely see a large and obviously well informed cadre of posters who respond with valid and useful advice.

 

I routinely see that advice essentially thrown back in the face of the respondent. Maybe because they were not really looking for a solution. They were looking for sympathy and commiseration. I see respondents being accused of being an eBay shill. I see respondents insulted for (what the OP sees as) the inability to understand the problem. I see an unwillingness on their part to accept that whatever they did that caused the problem was, in essence, their own fault for doing it wrong. And they are offended at being corrected. Sarcasm and cheap shots abound.

 

I believe it is called Cognitive Dissonance.

 

They remind me of that old Monty Python skit “I came here for an argument”.

 

OK

 

So I have started putting together the equivalent of a BBL list. BPL if you prefer. Obviously I can not block them from posting. But I can avoid wasting my time and knowledge on an ungrateful OP. Their loss.

 

Just had to get that off my chest. I suspect I am not alone.

"Laissez-faire capitalism (AKA The Great Material Continuum) is the only social system based on the recognition of individual rights and, therefore, the only system that bans force from social relationships." ~ Ayn Rand
Message 1 of 13
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Accepted Solutions

Don’t shoot the messenger.

One thing I learned long, long ago:  There are many people who find more emotional satisfaction in having problems than in solving them. 

 

They will "kill the messenger" because the message is, you can stop being angy and feeling victimized by understanding this simple thing and then doing that simple thing.  They hate having such cold water thrown on their gratifying emotional fires.

 

 -

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Message 5 of 13
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12 REPLIES 12

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Here's a lesson I've learned the hard way:  When I see someone asking for help here, and see the discussion is headed in the direction you describe in #2, I try to distance myself from the fray.

If I wanted to be insulted an abused, I could find that closer to home. 

Message 2 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

This topic would be better served in Share Community Platform Feedback rather than Selling.

Message 3 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

No, you are not alone........... most of the #2's never come back so the blocked poster thingy doesn't do much good......  I keep telling myself that many read the informative posts, but never acknowledge them so perhaps posting does some good....but about ready to leave it to the new posters who are willing to put up with the abuse.....at least for a while. 

Message 4 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

One thing I learned long, long ago:  There are many people who find more emotional satisfaction in having problems than in solving them. 

 

They will "kill the messenger" because the message is, you can stop being angy and feeling victimized by understanding this simple thing and then doing that simple thing.  They hate having such cold water thrown on their gratifying emotional fires.

 

 -

Message 5 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

I suspect I am not alone.

 

@richard1rst 

 

✌️

Message 6 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

Sometimes Someone's Advice just doesn't work for another seller or their merchandise, I wouldn't dismiss it as ungrateful, Certain situations work for some & not others, The Real fact of the Matter is their are some serious issues here that are not being fixed & until they are, The Complaints will continue!

Message 7 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

This thread is preaching to the choir. 

 

Those who SHOULD be reading it won't! 

albertabrightalberta | Volunteer Community Mentor
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

Message 8 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.


@richard1rst wrote:

Group one

 

I routinely see posters come on these boards seeking advice on the best way to do something, or advice on how to deal with a problem that has arisen, or seeking an understanding of eBay’s rules and policies - etc.

 

I routinely see a large and obviously well informed cadre of posters who respond with valid and useful advice.

 

I routinely see that advice rewarded with “helpful” clicks, “acceptance as a solution” and sometimes just a simple Thank you.

 

Group two

 

I routinely see posters come on these boards seeking advice on the best way to do something, or advice on how to deal with a problem that has arisen, or seeking an understanding of eBay’s rules and policies - etc.

 

I routinely see a large and obviously well informed cadre of posters who respond with valid and useful advice.

 

I routinely see that advice essentially thrown back in the face of the respondent. Maybe because they were not really looking for a solution. They were looking for sympathy and commiseration. I see respondents being accused of being an eBay shill. I see respondents insulted for (what the OP sees as) the inability to understand the problem. I see an unwillingness on their part to accept that whatever they did that caused the problem was, in essence, their own fault for doing it wrong. And they are offended at being corrected. Sarcasm and cheap shots abound.

 

I believe it is called Cognitive Dissonance.

 

They remind me of that old Monty Python skit “I came here for an argument”.

 

OK

 

So I have started putting together the equivalent of a BBL list. BPL if you prefer. Obviously I can not block them from posting. But I can avoid wasting my time and knowledge on an ungrateful OP. Their loss.

 

Just had to get that off my chest. I suspect I am not alone.


Hmm the trow in face is a normal due to the user does not accept the situation that happen with them.

 

Some get angry about such: best advice I can give on this topic is do not do what I do and use my normal ID: get a posting ID.

 

As for some and not responding to them: well some folks you just can not help.

Message 9 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

P.S. Try the Buying board sometime.  People can be told the simple steps to getting their money refunded for something they bought and are unhappy with -- but they pay no attention because they're enthralled by their own self-righteous anger and their scorching negs. 

 

Ah, well, there's nowt so queer as folk, as they say in Yorkshire.

 

-

Message 10 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.


@maxine*j wrote:

One thing I learned long, long ago:  There are many people who find more emotional satisfaction in having problems than in solving them. 

 

They will "kill the messenger" because the message is, you can stop being angy and feeling victimized by understanding this simple thing and then doing that simple thing.  They hate having such cold water thrown on their gratifying emotional fires.

 

 -


WELL SAID !!!!!!

"Laissez-faire capitalism (AKA The Great Material Continuum) is the only social system based on the recognition of individual rights and, therefore, the only system that bans force from social relationships." ~ Ayn Rand
Message 11 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.

-----GENERAL REPLY-----

 

IMO, if more people worried about what they post themselves instead of what other people post, this community would be a lot better off. It's pretty easy just to slide right on past a thread  or post one finds somehow disagreeable. 

Message 12 of 13
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Don’t shoot the messenger.


@pburn wrote:

-----GENERAL REPLY-----

 

IMO, if more people worried about what they post themselves instead of what other people post, this community would be a lot better off. It's pretty easy just to slide right on past a thread  or post one finds somehow disagreeable. 


Yep, it is easy to slide by.............but what effect does it have on the hundreds of people that read the "disagreeable" comments and decide they don't want to participate? I don't know how many were around for the OLD Selling Board.......but it became pretty nasty...........  seems to me the participation here is lessening..........and I just wonder if the disagreeable comments are part of that........ 

Message 13 of 13
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