What to do here

[ellenshideout]

I have a quick question.

How to respond to a beligerent and mean buyer. Have me in tears so mean. 

Been a pain before but nothing like this. 

Not sure how to proceed. Even sent me several emails today each being this way.

[soh.maryl]

I don't get it -- just refund and claim will close? So far, we've not been given much information.

If the buyer hasn't opened a case, why would the seller refund? If there's tracking proving delivery or that package is traveling why "just refund"? 

[wastingtime101]

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@gurlcat wrote:

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@reallynicestamps wrote:

Block them now.

You will continue to get Messages for 30 days after your last Message, because you are in a transaction.

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I could be mistaken but I believe having a current transaction won't continue their messages coming through; only having a current return or INR would.  @wastingtime101   is that correct? 

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Adding a buyer to your blocked list blocks all messages through the eBay message system. Full stop.

Recent transaction does not change that.

Outside of the eBay message system it's possible to receive messages that are within an open item not received claim. It's also possible to receive messages through a return request in the (uncommon) scenario it's not auto-approved. Neither of those situations are through eBay's message system.

[gurlcat]

Oooo, I wish I was there.  But probably a good thing I wasn't.  🤣

[scruffthemuff]

It is against eBay policies for any buyer to be unprofessional by being cruel or vulgar and demanding to eBay sellers.  What happened?

[gurlcat]

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@wastingtime101 wrote:

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@gurlcat wrote:

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@reallynicestamps wrote:

Block them now.

You will continue to get Messages for 30 days after your last Message, because you are in a transaction.

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I could be mistaken but I believe having a current transaction won't continue their messages coming through; only having a current return or INR would.  @wastingtime101   is that correct? 

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Adding a buyer to your blocked list blocks all messages through the eBay message system. Full stop.

Recent transaction does not change that.

Outside of the eBay message system it's possible to receive messages that are within an open item not received claim. It's also possible to receive messages through a return request in the (uncommon) scenario it's not auto-approved. Neither of those situations are through eBay's message system.

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Yes, thank you.  I knew an open "case" (not case by eBay definition but whatever the word is) enabled continued messages despite being on the seller's BBL, but I forgot about it being WITHIN the "case" only. 

@reallynicestampsSo to summarize: If you put a buyer on your BBL, they can continue to "email" you through your messages page, but you won't see their messages, and they won't know that you're not seeing them (could even interpret it as you ignoring them, which could turn up their heat and lead to more problems).  But if they have an open return or INR, you WILL be able to see whatever they type in the text box provided, and this could include something like a 'message' to you.

[12345jamesstamps]

Why?

'not given much information'...I guess I do more investigating than you.

It was probably something for a few bucks.

'open claim...and refund'...I would so I can just move on.

To argue for a 'A Fistfull of Dollars' is senseless...had to use that movie title...LOL

And a whiplash of negative feedback for a few bucks. Is it really worth it?

Back and forth on the emails? Seriously? "Have me in tears so mean."

Just my 2 cents.

[buyselljack2016]

@gurlcat 

  Anyway can a seller even change their account name if they wanted to?  I thought that wasn't possible. 

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you can change ID every 30 days

[gurlcat]

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@12345jamesstamps wrote:

Why?

'not given much information'...I guess I do more investigating than you.

It was probably something for a few bucks.

'open claim...and refund'...I would so I can just move on.

To argue for a 'A Fistfull of Dollars' is senseless...had to use that movie title...LOL

And a whiplash of negative feedback for a few bucks. Is it really worth it?

Back and forth on the emails? Seriously? "Have me in tears so mean."

Just my 2 cents.

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It's kind of hard to understand what you're even saying here, sorry.  You do more investigating?  On what? What did you find? 

The seller cannot open a claim.  What makes you think they can?

Here's my rephrasing of your 'whiplash' bit: -A whiplash refund just to avoid negative feedback.  Is it really worth it?

Appeasing bully buyers is what creates bully buyers.  You are literally advocating REWARDING a dude who writes things to sellers that put them in tears.  That's not the eBay I want to sell in, so it's pretty frustrating to see a seller openly advocating for it. 

[gurlcat]

@ellenshideoutI really do wish I knew what kinds of things this buyer has been saying to you, because I don't want to downplay it if he's being truly abusive to you. But looking at your profile here .... it seems you have somehow gotten extremely upsetting buyers over and over.  And it seems you have quit and restarted selling over and over.   To answer a question you asked before, yes I think you might indeed be jinxed.

[chapeau-noir]

I have a feeling that it's part market, part using seemingly rather unreliable ESE shipping and part sensitivity. Probably leads to that 'hammered' feeling.

[wastingtime101]

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@gurlcat wrote:

@ellenshideoutI really do wish I knew what kinds of things this buyer has been saying to you, because I don't want to downplay it if he's being truly abusive to you. But looking at your profile here .... it seems you have somehow gotten extremely upsetting buyers over and over. 

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Several on this forum spent a lot of time and effort trying to help the original poster over the past 2 years (example) with shipping, pricing and buyers.

Sorry to she hasn't taken our advice and is experiencing similar problems time and again.

A lot of these elements are in the seller's control and, as others said above, if a buyer is sending "belligerent and mean" messages they can be blocked.

Ecommerce sellers are most successful when they have a thick skin and the perspective to not take things personally. As selling on eBay is frequently triggering tears for this seller, with the utmost sincerity and respect I suggest she look into counseling. A professional counselor can offer tools to handle the emotional aspect of ecommerce and life in general. Useful seller tools are not limited to physical items like a computer and packing tape. 🙂 

[wastingtime101]

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@chapeau-noir wrote:

I have a feeling that it's part market, part using seemingly rather unreliable ESE shipping and part sensitivity. Probably leads to that 'hammered' feeling.

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In the OP's case, the unreliable ESE tracking is most likely because their envelopes are too rigid (per past discussions about their packing materials). We tried to help with that a few times, but the OP was uninterested in changing their packing method.

[chapeau-noir]

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@wastingtime101 wrote:

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@chapeau-noir wrote:

I have a feeling that it's part market, part using seemingly rather unreliable ESE shipping and part sensitivity. Probably leads to that 'hammered' feeling.

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In the OP's case, the unreliable ESE tracking is most likely because their envelopes are too rigid (per past discussions about their packing materials). We tried to help with that a few times, but the OP was uninterested in changing their packing method.

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OK. I personally tend to like to make life easy for myself by taking advice from the experts, so I guess assume others do, too.

[simply-the-best-for-you]

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@wastingtime101 wrote:

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@gurlcat wrote:

@ellenshideoutI really do wish I knew what kinds of things this buyer has been saying to you, because I don't want to downplay it if he's being truly abusive to you. But looking at your profile here .... it seems you have somehow gotten extremely upsetting buyers over and over. 

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Several on this forum spent a lot of time and effort trying to help the original poster over the past 2 years (example) with shipping, pricing and buyers.

Sorry to she hasn't taken our advice and is experiencing similar problems time and again.

A lot of these elements are in the seller's control and, as others said above, if a buyer is sending "belligerent and mean" messages they can be blocked.

Ecommerce sellers are most successful when they have a thick skin and the perspective to not take things personally. As selling on eBay is frequently triggering tears for this seller, with the utmost sincerity and respect I suggest she look into counseling. A professional counselor can offer tools to handle the emotional aspect of ecommerce and life in general. Useful seller tools are not limited to physical items like a computer and packing tape. 🙂 

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@wastingtime101  Way back on page 1 or 2 I suggested she report the messages.   Super simple to report the messages.  OP said there was no appropriate choice to pick.  I c/p'd the choices, as there are numerous choices that fit the bill for abusive buyers.  I think they are looking in the wrong place to report, so I explained exactly where the Report Message is & c/p'd the choices.  Hopefully she reported them, we haven't heard back.   

It CAN be helpful to talk to eBay in these cases, if in fact the buyer is truly being abusive.  I have done it several times over the years & they will send them a 'cease & desist' but of course we have no idea what level of abuse OP is talking about b/c they aren't sharing.   But if they are using vulgar language, calling you names, insulting you or threatening you, eBay will absolutely step in & make them stop.  I've only had to do it w/prospects though, never with an actual buyer.  

[angelno9]

How to respond to a beligerent and mean buyer. Have me in tears so mean. 

Never become emotionally involved when it comes to a business transaction with a complete stranger.

The best way to "respond" is to not respond.