Was going to be nice, but I changed my mind..

[jessssa]

Ok, what would you do?

First of all, my item wasn't late but it was sent out the day before the deadline, and the customer was mad and asking where her item was. I explained I had am emergency, my grandma died and I had to drive to Philadelphia (4 hours away). I told her I would send the right item and let her keep the wrong item, and said I would get it shipped out this weekend. She said sorry for my loss. So it's the end of the weekend and I haven't provided her a tracking number because I was late to the post office and couldn't send it out. The customer is aggressively asking where the tracking number is and if it's in the post. I know it doesn't matter, but she is demanding while im dealing with a loss. So I told the customer I changed my mind: either I'll send you a shipping label and you return the wrong item, or you keep the item and I just refund you, please decide...is that wrong of me?

[greatmidwestcoin]

I am sorry to say, but customers do not want to hear excuses and could care less about personal issues. You have to choose as a seller here or on any other platform. You operate as a business or as a garage sale type. I am sorry for your loss, but unfortunately, it ends with that. Changing your mind doesn't help with the situation either, as a seller. If I were in this situation and the item wasn't too expensive, I would just take the hit and refund the amount. The customer was not at fault in any way from what you explain. You should make every effort to finalize the transaction so the customer is satisfied, and you can get back to what is important, your loss and family. I wish you the best and again, am sorry for your loss.

UPDATE:  I see the customer already left you a negative and listed she was not happy with your changing your mind.

[caldreamer]

From a personal standpoint, I think your customer was being an insensitive jerk.    Considering your circumstances, with the loss of your grandma, they should have been more understanding and not pestered your for a tracking#.

From a business standpoint, customer was probably already upset because they received the wrong item and then when they didn't get tracking# for correct replacement item they got even more upset (but customer could have showed some compassion and gave you more time to get things handled).  

Honestly, I don't blame you for not wanting to do business with this person anymore (especially after leaving you bad feedback).   By the way, you can reply and tell your side of the story.

[mordecai8614]

So you sent the wrong item, told them they could keep the wrong item & you'd send the correct item over the weekend, didn't send the correct item like you said you would, & have now changed your mind on the solution YOU PROPOSED.... Yea I'd say the buyer has a legitimate reason to be losing their patience. 

I'm sorry for your loss, but that was not the way to handle the situation 

[albertabrightalberta]

@jessssa 

I'm very sorry for your loss but cancelling the sale wasn't the right way to handle and already unhappy buyer. 

I haven't provided her a tracking number because I was late to the post office and couldn't send it out. 

I don't know whether you're aware but you can purchase the shipping label (thus automatically providing a tracking number) directly through the order. You save money on shipping since it's discounted vs. retail at the post office, buyer gets the number immediately and you can either print the label at home or receive a QR code and the post office will print the label. 

When you canceled, what reason did you choose for doing so? 

[greatmidwestcoin]

"By the way, you can reply and tell your side of the story." What would their side of the story be? They screwed up more than twice? eBay has seller policies in place for a reason. At the very least they failed to provide tracking on the correct item. No excuse. This seller also has another negative FB by the way. Their post is simply filled with excuses. As for not wanting to do business with the buyer, I highly doubt the buyer would ever want to do business with this seller. Selling on any forum has nothing to do with "feelings". Any seller understands how to separate feelings from business. If you don't understand that basic principle, you should not be selling here or anywhere.

[reallynicestamps]

It's cruel to say so, but an emergency on your part does not mean you are allowed to let customer service slide.

I haven't provided her a tracking number because I was late to the post office and couldn't send it out.

When I buy a shipping label through eBay, the tracking number is automatically added to my shipping information, even before I get it to the PO.

I can then drop it in the mailbox, but I understand that the USPS doesn't do that anymore. Canada Post has one on my nearest corner, another three blocks away, another a block from there (in front of an assisted living facility) and another one more block away (at the supermarket). OTOH, they don't offer home pickup easily or cheaply.

[reallynicestamps]

What would their side of the story be?

I can't think of any Response to negative FB that would encourage  future customers to deal with OP.

And both FB and Responses are meant for future customers not the unhappy buyer, not other sellers, and not eBay.

You could ask eBay to remove the FB, it won't hurt to do it, but eBay is unlikely to sympathize.

We do understand how confused and upset you are at this time. May your grandmother's name be always a blessing.

[coj]

Nobody cares about anyone else. IMHO certain politics have turned us into a ME ME ME ME TO HELL WITH YOU society. Annoying people know they can get away with being a PIA on this platform and ebay always takes their side, so... cest la vie! In my book you are lucky you got bids. All I get are useless watchers, and then ebay says the magic words.. "lower the price".. so I do it. Again and again. To no avail. This platform to me is dead unless I shill Halloween postcards or Christmas stuff. Anything else... phhhtttttt. And since I don't shill, well, you can't if no one bids...

[robbie31415]

Of course it's eBays fault and has nothing to do with what you are selling.

Seems like the younger generations flock for your types of items.

Actually I have a 20 year old here who has informed me they never have put a stamp on a letter.

[chapeau-noir]

I would have gritted my teeth (being sad and frustrated), given this customer the tracking number and then just mailed the second item the next day. I realise this is a difficult time (I was raised a great deal by my grandmother so I actually understand), but this is the time to rein in your emotions and just follow through with what you promised, mail the item the next day, then forget about it.

What you did was actually very human, but in business one has to just stop a minute and think, and not let first emotions carry us away, then just get through it. Just take the lesson and keep on going.

[fashunu4eeuh]

@jessssa wrote:

”…is that wrong of me?”

Yes, it was wrong. I am afraid this transaction was a disaster, because you failed to meet your obligations to the buyer, multiple times. You gave your word and then broke it, creating a BBE (bad buying experience). Such failures can cause buyers to leave the platform and not return. It hurts us all.

Sadly, there will be tragedies that befall us. But sellers do not have the luxury of giving excuses and being forgiven. This is not a social situation—it is a business where one holds a legal contractual responsibility to the buyer. The business must always be attended to. One must prepare for such emergencies and have a back-up plan in place. There are no Get Out of Jail Free cards.

We all understand how painful the loss of a loved one can be. (I was particularly close with my own Grandmother, and still miss her 40 years on.) After all this, it is time to consider carefully and decide if online selling is for you. One cannot shirk their business duties. Regardless of the personal circumstances, the contractual obligations we accepted as sellers require our follow-thru.

This buyer did not fail you—you failed them. Time to make it right. 

[janet9988]

---

@jessssa wrote:

Ok, what would you do?

First of all, my item wasn't late but it was sent out the day before the deadline, and the customer was mad and asking where her item was. I explained I had am emergency, my grandma died and I had to drive to Philadelphia (4 hours away). I told her I would send the right item and let her keep the wrong item, and said I would get it shipped out this weekend. She said sorry for my loss. So it's the end of the weekend and I haven't provided her a tracking number because I was late to the post office and couldn't send it out. The customer is aggressively asking where the tracking number is and if it's in the post. I know it doesn't matter, but she is demanding while im dealing with a loss. So I told the customer I changed my mind: either I'll send you a shipping label and you return the wrong item, or you keep the item and I just refund you, please decide...is that wrong of me?

---

So YOU were going to be nice for sending the wrong item in the first place?????

[iamalwaysright]

Yes, that is wrong of you. Here's two main things you did wrong that you could've avoided. And I'm not talking about the initial mistake of you sending the wrong item, I've accepted that we all do that from time to time so it's fine.

But here's the two I spoke of: 1) You underestimated your own timeframe on when you'd ship out the correct item. I understand that the buyer was already upset, but breaking another promise to them would obviously raise their anger. Be more realistic with your time estimates or have better time management, especially with a buyer you have already wronged. Had you given him a later date he probably wouldn't be as mad as when he found out you didn't send it out. That's strike two in his eyes.

2) Professionally you are in no position to change your mind or terms you mentioned to someone you have already treated this way regardless of how mad or rude they are to you. You have zero leverage here, so making things more complicated for the buyer and changing your mind is strike three. You're out.

Totally aside from the personal aspect, professionally speaking I've seen buyers experience less problems from a seller and still called them a scam. Try to see what the buyer sees here. You have to try your best to put your personal issues aside if you want to have your own business.

Anyway, what I would have done is given your last offer that you mentioned ("you keep the item and I just refund you") from the get-go when I found out the buyer received the wrong item. I would've just apologized and mentioned a family emergency caused this. I would put my store on "time away" until I was ready or at least extended my handling times to a time I absolutely knew I was able to ship out on time (and add a day extra to that handling time just for safe measure). I wouldn't block the buyer and probably also tell him he is welcome to re-buy and I'd make pretty darn sure I'd get that order right when and if he comes back to buy.

[ed8108]

Be nice,  your buyer did nothing wrong.