eBay

sin-n-dex · ‎06-04-2021

A buyer messaged me three times during the night to ask questions about a coin. I was asleep.

When I got up this morning he bought the coin. I replied to his questions (in case my answers would cause him to want to cancel).

Since then I've received four personal messages about his family and other stuff (and one of them was rather creepy). I'm not going to post here the things he said, it's already disrupted my calm at work this morning.

My reaction being the kind of personality I am is to ask him to stop messaging, but since I don't think he's very balanced that's probably not a good thing to do. Perhaps ignoring him is better. (I know if I sent a bunch of messages to someone and they never responded I would give up). It's like he's telling me his life's story and runs out of characters and sends another message.

I've given though to cancelling his order, but I'm not sure that's the best thing to do. I don't think he's going to give me trouble about his order, I just think he's going to annoy me while having the notion that we're penpals.

C.

ed8108 · ‎06-04-2021

Complete the transaction , respond only to questions related to items you have listed for sale

jonathankirkland · ‎06-04-2021

@sin-n-dex wrote:
@pikabo-icu wrote:
@tdumonde2014

Maybe the person is just lonely..
Doesn't understand boundaries and is of the belief buying something buys a friend for a while.
If that's the case, it's sad- BUT if they're unhinged well, that's another story..
I said unhinged because of some of the disturbing choices of conversation (as if talking about that stuff was normal every day chatter). But I'd prefer not to share that in a public forum.

As a seller, I don't need to hear about people's family problems. There are forums on the internet where it's appropriate to go and share that kind of stuff. eBay is not one of them.

His first message was coin-related (even though I didn't respond), he was telling me a story about buying something that other people thought was worthless and it turned out to be very valuable. At that point I thought he just wanted someone to talk to (but I still didn't respond).

The second message was private family stuff and downright creepy. I called a male friend of mine to see what he thinks (as he's not weirded out that easily) and he said if he were selling coins on eBay and got a message like that, he'd be creeped out too.

C.

Hmmm, makes me wonder if he was angling for a discount on future purposes with the hard-luck stories. Some people do that.

jonathankirkland · ‎06-04-2021

@sin-n-dex wrote:
@katzrul15 wrote:
Priceless!!

Man, where were you yesterday? Really needed this for my buyer!!!
I'm finding there's an increasing number of whackadoodles out there, and I've been adding a few people to my BBL every week. (Just so that I don't have to deal with them ever again.)

Most of my problem buyers respond to offers they get from me (which go out anonymously from my standpoint), and the BBL will stop them from receiving those offers which will stop them from bothering with me, unless of course they stumble on a listing by accident and try and buy it.

So far no one has ever messaged me to ask why they can't purchase from my store (unless they were in Azerbaijan or Romania, etc., in which case it's a location block).

C.

Sadly, from what I've been reading in these forums, it seems the people who buy cheaper items and/or always want or expect a discount are the ones that are more prone to act crazy via messaging.

The cheaper the item = the crazier the buyer? 😕

mobley120 · ‎06-04-2021

Well, I guess one can get a sense of whom they might be dealing with through their correspondence... I differ a bit from the others here. I'll communicate back and forth with anyone, and if it becomes too overbearing, I just start letting a day or so go by before I respond back, then I'll lengthen that even more, depending on how busy I might be.

This is just one example of more than a few: about ten years ago, a lady purchased an item for me, and she emailed me about a dozen times, and I chatted with her. Then a few days went by, and her emails stopped. Then about a week later she purchased something else from me. The chatting started again, that lasted for several days, then it stopped again. A couple of weeks went by, and she purchased another item from me. But this time I found her purchase to be somewhat odd, being that I had chatted with her, I had good sense of her, I could tell she was an older lady. Anyway, I asked "what-in-the-world are you gonna do with that ****(item), it's not the type of item I'd expect for you to be interested in"... Her reply was "I just like chatting with you, and I just want to show my appreciation, plus I think my son will like it..."

Anyway, she purchased many more items from me, over the following two years, then one day it just stopped, no emails, no more purchases. I don't know what happened to her, but I sure didn't mind chatting with her, and not just because of her purchases, she was a well spoken person, and she had a very kind manner...

But that's just me...

pcobra93 · ‎06-04-2021

I am pretty convinced that shrinks are prescribing Ebay as therapy for their most disturbed clients....

duncanvr · ‎06-04-2021

In the stamp world I get buyers like this all the time, they want to tell me their life stories. I respond bla bla bla and tell them I am sending their order. Yes some of these people are wanting to be your pen-pal you have to just give up and ignore them once the transaction is complete or respond with short answers from time to time explaining your busy. I would not cancel in your end instead I'd ask them to look through the rest of your store and sell them something else additional. When buyer likes the seller they will come back for more items and it maybe worth putting up with a few extra messages to get more sales. Good business. I've got buyers who have been messaging me for 17 years but they buy every week. Very loyal buyers.

sin-n-dex · ‎06-04-2021

@mobley120 wrote:
Well, I guess one can get a sense of whom they might be dealing with through their correspondence... I differ a bit from the others here. I'll communicate back and forth with anyone, and if it becomes too overbearing, I just start letting a day or so go by before I respond back, then I'll lengthen that even more, depending on how busy I might be.

This is just one example of more than a few: about ten years ago, a lady purchased an item for me, and she emailed me about a dozen times, and I chatted with her. Then a few days went by, and her emails stopped. Then about a week later she purchased something else from me. The chatting started again, that lasted for several days, then it stopped again. A couple of weeks went by, and she purchased another item from me. But this time I found her purchase to be somewhat odd, being that I had chatted with her, I had good sense of her, I could tell she was an older lady. Anyway, I asked "what-in-the-world are you gonna do with that ****(item), it's not the type of item I'd expect for you to be interested in"... Her reply was "I just like chatting with you, and I just want to show my appreciation, plus I think my son will like it..."

Anyway, she purchased many more items from me, over the following two years, then one day it just stopped, no emails, no more purchases. I don't know what happened to her, but I sure didn't mind chatting with her, and not just because of her purchases, she was a well spoken person, and she had a very kind manner...

But that's just me...

I had a guy a few weeks ago that I thought was a bit eccentric talk to me about coin collecting. He was wondering if I ever collected coins or do I just sell them for the shop. I exchanged a few messages about the types of coins I find interesting and what I find uninteresting and why.

I see that as relating to what I do, but maybe a bit on the personal side.

If I shared what this buyer said in their second chatty message (as the first was just boasting about a great deal they got on something, which was kind of genre related), you'd probably agree with the others to stop writing.

It became a bit overbearing having my phone going off every 10 minutes with a new message and I have to check in case it's important. I really had to tell him I'm too busy to respond to his messages (I didn't also say that I'm not reading them either). I just scan for content to see if it's related to the sale and needs a response, since none of them were messages like that I just don't respond.

I will say though that telling him I'm too busy to respond (I told him what I was doing at work to justify being busy), caused him to stop writing. I expect messages when he gets his item (and probably some before that inquiring about tracking), but hopefully no more personal messages from him.

C.

sin-n-dex · ‎06-04-2021

@duncanvr wrote:
In the stamp world I get buyers like this all the time, they want to tell me their life stories. I respond bla bla bla and tell them I am sending their order. Yes some of these people are wanting to be your pen-pal you have to just give up and ignore them once the transaction is complete or respond with short answers from time to time explaining your busy. I would not cancel in your end instead I'd ask them to look through the rest of your store and sell them something else additional. When buyer likes the seller they will come back for more items and it maybe worth putting up with a few extra messages to get more sales. Good business. I've got buyers who have been messaging me for 17 years but they buy every week. Very loyal buyers.

I have quite a few regulars but most don't talk very much. I gather they don't want to receive lengthy chatty messages from me either.

I'm not lying about being busy to avoid the guy... I work 9.5 hours a day five days a week and when I'm not at work I'm getting stamp lots ready, shipping packages, listing items, taking pictures and sewing new handbags. I have a lot to keep me busy. This guy was sending me a new message that was maximum characters allowed every 10-15 minutes. I can't respond to that.

C.

femmefan1946 · ‎06-04-2021

Sin is in Canada-- another reason for Justin to keep the border closed.

But giving a valid, but not home, address is a good idea.

sin-n-dex · ‎06-04-2021

@jonathankirkland wrote:
Hmmm, makes me wonder if he was angling for a discount on future purposes with the hard-luck stories. Some people do that.

I have one occasional buyer message me that he's a disabled vet and can't afford more than x dollars for the coin. I basically told him I don't need to know why he wants a discount, it's economic. Ask for a deal, and I'll give you a deal. Coin dealing is about haggling, it happens in real life at the stores and coin shows too. When the listed price is already a good deal, often times people just buy. I have lots of regulars trained to put things on their watch list when they want a discount and I'll just randomly send out a better offer (that makes economic sense for me).

As for hard luck stories... those have no effect on me whatsoever. When my job for the day is to answer phones, I get a hard luck story every 10 minutes about why someone wants to have money, and I'm just completely unconcerned. We are regulated and have a process to follow, and we're not going to pay out a settlement just because they asked us to. I work in the legal department so I spend lots of time dealing with lawyers. There are certain types of claimants that are the worst callers (they usually are not even our customers, they are people who feel they were wronged).

When I get into the files I get a sense as to why we're not paying. I've been there a long time and have no emotions about hard luck stories unless they are happening to people I know personally (as in, outside of work or part time work).

C.

jhr-4800 · ‎06-04-2021

That's a good one. Could not stop laughing for several minutes.

sin-n-dex · ‎06-04-2021

@femmefan1946 wrote:
Sin is in Canada-- another reason for Justin to keep the border closed.

But giving a valid, but not home, address is a good idea.

While I'm probably safe from most non-Canada customers, there is the occasional person who contacts me to "meet up". Sometimes I would be OK with it (only now they're contacting me from near Niagara because my listings show there).

When my listing was showing the city my PO Box was in, I got one particularly creepy person message me a whole bunch of times on how he wanted to pick up stuff in person. I told him I have no store front and no where to meet customers (and no, I'm not going some place to do it... my time is very valuable and people aren't paying me for me time to accommodate them so they can save on shipping). I ended up blocking him, he created another account and bought anyway, but didn't pay because I wouldn't meet him in person.

I changed my location to "Greater Toronto Area" and when Toronto folk contacted me I indicated I was a little ways away (and that saying Toronto is just because everyone knows where that is, but most Americans have never heard of my city).

When I signed up with Chit Chats and got to use their USA mailing address to send out packages, that's what's in the listing now. I provide the PO box on an address label on the packing slip in case someone wants to return something. I almost always provide a return label (even for a remorse return if the item has a lot of value), just to ensure it comes back to Canada and not to Chit Chats.

C.

mjap47 · ‎06-04-2021

Just Block him then also block him from messaging you. This should solve the messages and any purchases in the future they may want to buy from you.

sin-n-dex · ‎06-04-2021

@mjap47 wrote:
Just Block him then also block him from messaging you. This should solve the messages and any purchases in the future they may want to buy from you.

I actually never block messages (I just manually ignore them). Sometimes a buyer can't purchase because of their location and they want an exception. Since it's a 50/50 chance that I'll grant one, I'd like to see the message.

C.