Name Calling in Undeserved Negative Feedback

[kaco_5248]

Can anyone help me contact eBay about a "buyer" whom I really began to feel was fishing for personal info because their communications were so suspect? I've reported them. I tried to contest their negative feedback and it was declined, "This seller has problems. I hope she gets help for them. She imploded after I won her auction and requested cheaper shipping. She refunded me, refused to sell to me and re-listed the blouse I had won in a whole new auction, and barred me from bidding. I've reported her to ebay. The whole debacle is documented in ebay messages between us."

Here are the 15 communications completely unedited over the course of only a few hours so that you understand the full story: 

Buyer: I have managed to find the item, and pay for it now. I was a bit shocked at the shipping charge. If there is any way to arrange cheaper shipping, please do! This will cost nearly $70 to ship in my currency.

Hi There,
Me: Thanks for your purchase. I buy stuff from Australia all of the time and it's around $30 for shipping. I cannot understand how this would be $70. Would you like to contact eBay before I print the shipping label and send it out? I do not have any control over the shipping prices. Thanks

Me: It is my goal to send items out same day. Please let me know.

Buyer: re shipping, kindly await my reply. thanks.

Buyer: ebay says to get cheaper shipping you need to fold it up tiny and send without box. can you do that, and send new dimensions for a shipping quote???? $49 US is just too much to pay for shipping this item which can be made tiny.

Buyer:  here's another option according to ebay:

"you do have the option to have the seller purchase a label outside eBay which will be through your preferred carrier that may have a cheaper postage."

if you make this into a tiny pkg and send by regular post, that woiuld be the answer.
Can you do this for me, and refund the difference in postage.

Buyer also ebay says: "Then, the seller can issue you the rest of the postage fee or cancel the order and have you repurchase it with the appropriate amount of shipping."

pls advise on the course of action you choose and direct me on payment. thanks. ebay gave you a quote based on your weight and dimensions of pkg so we need to get that packaging down and resubmit to ebay OR buying a label from your postal outlet.

Buyer: probably best to issue me a refund and then allowing me to pay for it again, but with the new shipping price?

Me: (I weighed it and gave photos of dimensions in a package): I'm not sure how that would work since this was won in an auction. 6.6 oz 9 x 6 inches

Buyer: perhaps you should contact ebay and find out how to go about doing it.
6 x 9 is pretty large packaging for that little blouse. You likely can make it much smaller for a cheaper shipping rate.
I have returned and received refunds for things I buy at auction before...

Me: (I find a smaller shipping option and crumple the blouse into a tiny ball, weigh it, show dimensions of the package with photos again) Ok, I'm really trying to make it as small as possible. After searching around my house and making it a tiny ball that will arrive wrinkled, it's 4.9 oz and 5x6. I really don't have anything to do with shipping. I only see the $99 for the sale. Please ask eBay. I don't want to reach out to them as it's outside of my responsibility.

Buyer: I take it you can only refund me the $99 and don't know how to retrieve the money paid to ebay for shipping. thank you for making up the smaller package.
I will ask ebay how to retrieve my shipping fee. They will phone me back in 70 minutes.
I will do this, but for clarity, it would be so much easier if you spoke directly with them since you are the one having to arrange the cheaper shipping. I can get information and perhaps you will have another issue I am unable to respond to.
Anyway, I will contact them a second time and get back to you.

Buyer:  what would happen if you just cancelled the sale??? Wouldn't the shipping of the item automatically be cancelled too?

Today I saw the exact same doen blouse in a Medium being sold with $21 shipping from Linda's Stuff in Pennsylvania, much further than you are from me....

Buyer: probably best to issue me a refund and then allowing me to pay for it again, but with the new shipping price?

Buyer:  New message from: mydogchip 
ebay says:
"Due to privacy policy, we are not allowed to contact the seller on your behalf unless the seller will contact us. So you just need to inform the seller to just issue a full refund that's showing on his end which is the $99 and once he successfully processed the refund then eBay will process the refund for the shipping cost."

so please go ahead and issue refund. then send me invoice for item with new, lower ship fee.

I cancel the order on the side of the road during a 20 mile run when I find cell service

Buyer: OK, ebay sent me a full refund! YYYYAAAAYYY.
So we can start over again.
I would like to buy the blouse again, with the adjusted ship fee.
can you re list and I will purchase? or do you have to secure the lower ship fee first?
Please advise.
many thanks for your cooperation.

I clumsily re-list the item not understanding if eBay has some control over the re-list to just have her buy it again

Buyer: I do apologize for bothering you again.
I have now contacted ebay and they have asked me to send you the following message today:

Respectfully, I am reminding you that we agreed in messages through ebay that you would refund me and process a new payment with revised shipping. We never discussed a whole new auction where I once again would have to bid on an item I had already won. I respectfully urge you to process a new payment for me, as per our agreement. If you have any difficulty doing that, kindly contact ebay.

I look foward to receiving your invoice or cooperating in the purchase of my blouse, as soon as it can be arranged.
Thanking you again.
Sincerely,
Buyer

Buyer: I don't understand. you have put it up for auction again.
I bought this blouse for $99.Won't you honor the fact I won the auction.
sincerely, this is surprising. I woiuld ask that you accept the $99 and ship to me as we agreed.
I have only tried all day today to get this sorted out.
If you will honour the auction, I will give you an excellent rating.

Buyer: also, shipping has remained the same at $49.15. Please advise. I am only a customer, trying to buy a blouse and I've tried my best to get answers from ebay for you in two separate time consuming chats.
I don't understand why you are handling this, in this particular way. I really feel very hurt.
Please help me out here.

Me: I do not understand how to sell this to you. I truly do not. Please stop with the constant communications. I'm not at a computer. I'm stopped on the side of the road trying to help you as I have been all day. 

[brightlightbookseller]

I wouldn't reply to the feedback. Honestly it makes them look terrible, as they tried to negotiate the terms of the sale after the fact, which is strictly not allowed.  If the automated tool didn't get it removed for you (not surprising) you can try to reach out to eBay's customer support, but don't hold your breath.  There's been a lot of feedback lately that probably should be removed that isn't being removed.  Supposedly they've promised and maybe already implemented some changes, though, so maybe there's a chance.

You can click the Help & Contact link and drill down to your issue, then begin a chat and type "Agent", or request a callback if that's offered.

You can contact them via Facebook, X, or Instagram apparently (I haven't used any of those except Facebook before):

https://www.facebook.com/eBay

https://x.com/askebay/

https://www.instagram.com/ebayforsellers/ (this is the only one that has a dedicated seller page still, but all work)

I'd say they definitely violated policy, but you've done all you can except possibly get that feedback removed.  Are you hoping for something different?  I'd block them and move on if you haven't yet.

[ebooksdiva]

I admit, I didn't read your entire post, but I did get the gist of it.
I would block the buyer and ignore and delete their messages.

Never allow a buyer to bully you into changing your terms of the sale. 
You can report the buyer citing demanding something that wasn't in the listing. > Report an issue with a buyer

The feedback, however doesn't violate eBay policy. Your title suggests name calling, I don't see evidence of that in feedback. 
Also you need to edit your post by clicking (v) over the date upper right corner of the post, then click edit to remove your buyers name and/or eBay ID because you can't name and shame in this forum.  

[kaco_5248]

Thanks for taking the time to answer. It appears that Facebook is the best way to get a hold of someone, but they said, "I took a look at the feedback and see that it was denied previously because the buyer has expressed a less than positive buying experience for which they would be allowed to express. Upon looking at the feedback and messages, I can confirm the first decision with this feedback would be correct."

It makes no sense to me that you can change the terms of a sale afterward, harass me for hours, then publicly write, "This seller has problems. I hope she gets help for them. She imploded after I won her auction and requested cheaper shipping" but here we are. I clearly documented the communications where I was not imploding...

Side note, I do not know how she got a phone number to contact eBay but I sure as heck couldn't find one. I really wish I never encountered this person. I've wasted way too much time on this! 

[kaco_5248]

Thanks for answering me! The name calling is inherently calling me crazy with, "This seller has problems. I hope she gets help for them. She imploded after I won her auction and requested cheaper shipping." It might be best to let people draw their own conclusions and not respond to her feedback on this one.

I didn't see the seller's name until now. I'll remove it because I am trying to be the bigger person although it certainly has not worked out for me. I did report her in that way that you recommended. I guess I've exhausted my options and will finally move on. I certainly hate when my character is in question. I've always been someone who tries to do the right thing. Maybe I'll get what I deserve one day 🙂

[ebooksdiva]

@kaco_5248 

Selling online isn't easy, you have to grow a thick skin and not let people like the one you dealt with get to you. Try to remember, it's business,  not personal and you'll be fine. 

[lux.ra_14]

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@kaco_5248 wrote:

Buyer: ebay says to get cheaper shipping you need to fold it up tiny and send without box. can you do that, and send new dimensions for a shipping quote???? $49 US is just too much to pay for shipping this item which 

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 As if any seller should take packaging advice from eBay. Aren't there minimum size requirements for international shipping via eBay? And where does the label go on a "tiny" package?

[tobaccocardyahoo]

This is a relatively big ticket sale for many buyers and sellers. You are still a new seller and have a target hanging from your neck for scammers and bullies.

I would recommend you avoid the auction listing format because many of the buyers at auction are more difficult to deal with than those who buy at fixed price. Since the auction is a challenge to get the item at a lower price for these buyers, busting your chops over shipping is all a part of the same game.

[bonjourami]

I hope you respond to that feedback, calmly and professionally, and mention what really happened. I would also mention the 15 emails.

[reallynicestamps]

Letter Post is not tracked.

Asking to have tracked posting changed to untracked posting is a Red Flag for an attempted scam.

Did she pay the original (high /tracked) cost?

If she did shipping with no comment on her request would have been the first step. (Insert axiom about hindsight /20:20 here.)

Shipping without full customs disclosure is smuggling.

Australia requires full customs disclosure on imports.

Smuggling is a crime.

Anyone who would suggest criminal activity is going to cheat you.

A smart buyer reading that FB will realize you were dealing with a crook.

[inhawaii]

Reply:

This buyer bid on and won the item, then AFTER the sale tried to negotiate different shipping options. That's not how it's done.  Transaction was cancelled and buyer was fully refunded.

[kaco_5248]

It would not have fit. I really did try to get it tiny, but I didn't understand what the next step would be for me to execute shipping said tiny package. She kept using the language, "I will do this, but for clarity, it would be so much easier if you spoke directly with them since you are the one having to arrange the cheaper shipping." I really am not. I make the same money no matter what you pay. I am trying to help you as a nicety and now I have a bad mark on my account. I really wish you didn't even bid on this and send me down this terrible hours long path of trying to appease you. 

[kaco_5248]

That's a really great point. Thank you for this suggestion. I sort of thought the auction creates a scarcity mindset and would entice more buyers....but you are right, it incites more difficult buyers which I'd prefer to skip 🙂

[kaco_5248]

I'm still debating. My husband has a really really great way of handling things. I know he could help me craft one that would make her look terrible, but I'm almost thinking that she sounds crazy enough and I shouldn't respond. 

[kaco_5248]

I really really began to think so, which is why I blocked her and didn't let her bid on the new listing go through. It was a tough one to suss out though honestly. What was the end game? Reselling it for more? Getting my bank details through the off-platform shipping? It seemed like a ton of work for little payoff.