eBay

whosyourcookie · ‎07-08-2019

This story may get a little long-winded and I apologize. I just want to be thorough. And I don't really know that I'm looking for a real answer, but am curious what other sellers might think or if they have had similar things happen. I've been actively selling for about 2 years now. I sell 95% clothing. It seems about every 6 months or so you get a really strange or crazy customer. So come with me on a journey....

So a month ago I sold a used shirt. It wasn't an expensive shirt. I have free shipping/free returns(pretty much no questions asked) on 99% of my listings. I also have a disclaimer about how sometimes colors sometimes are hard to photograph accurately (because of lighting, camera, computer screens, phone screens, etc.) and also saying if you have any issue let me know and I'll make it right.

I receive what I would consider an irate e-mail about said shirt (caps and multiple exclamation marks were used). Basically stating the shirt received was dark blue and my listing said blue. They were upset it was dark blue (it looks dark blue in the pic) but I purposely try not to get super specific when naming colors because what is one color to some can vary by opinion I've noticed. I generally stick to the primary colors unless the item is very borderline (i.e. very dark navy/black or very dark gray/black which is hard to distinguish in pics sometimes, but i would never call a pink shirt red either). They claimed it wasn't the same shirt. I assured them it was, but apologized for the inconvenience and reminded them if they were unhappy in ANY way to please feel free to return it (at no cost to them, mind you) for a full refund.

They replied they were going to (begrudgingly?) keep the shirt but were not happy. OK? Strange.

I braced myself for negative feedback (would have been a first for me).

Weeks passed and then I noticed I had gotten POSITIVE feedback from the buyer....however a "snarky" comment about how the shirt was "very used". I would call that unpositive feedback? Also, no complaint of the condition of the shirt was ever brought up.

A week later I get an e-mail from this buyer about how they left me "Great" positive feedback and I should do the same for them. One day later I get a near belligerent e-mail about how they have e-mailed me 3(!) times (only 2 by my count....in 24 hours mind you) about leaving positive feedback for them and they didn't understand what my problem was.

Does this seem crazy to anyone? I didn't leave positive feedback because quite frankly I had a kinda bad interaction with the person. Their very first e-mail kind of set the tone and wasn't very nice. I'm all about making things right, especially if I am at fault. Would love to hear feedback from other sellers. I'm sure there are stories waaaay more interesting than this but would be good to hear back.

On another note, they did go on at length about how important it was for the buyers and sellers to leave feedback for each other. But what good does it do when it's fake? Doesn't it devalue what it's really there for? Or when it's "positive" with a nasty comment? Just added to the oddness of the whole situation. I DO leave feedback by the way. I'm not as good about it as I should be. And whenever someone reaches out, and it's always been politely, to please leave feedback I have ALWAYS obliged....but I think I'm going to have to pass on this one.

southern*sweet*tea · ‎07-09-2019

@beez5720 wrote:
@a_c_green
I was of the same mindset at one time that leaving an early Positive for buyers can result in the transaction going bad and you have no recourse regarding feedback at that point. But I figured I would use the Positive for buyers as a "Thank you", and if anyone leaves me a negative, neutral or false positive, I found that it is more useful to just respond to that. Because I already leave them "favorable" feedback, they have no reason to annoy me with (what I call) feedback negotiations. So I decided, ultimately, that leaving "Thank you" feedbacks first is a pre-emptive strike and any problems that arise later will be dealt with accordingly at that time (even though I do sometimes want to take my Thank you back - lol).

^^^THIS^^^

Why?

Because of this:

The easier you are to offend the easier you are to control.

We seem to be getting closer and closer to a situation where nobody is responsible for what they did but we are all responsible for what somebody else did. - Thomas Sowell

gracieallen01 · ‎07-09-2019

@luckythewinner wrote:
@gracieallen01 wrote:
In general, you may be right. It seems that, for many people, principle doesn't count for much in business nowadays.
If a seller believes that denying a meaningless feedback delivered through a flawed, outdated and almost irrelevant system represent some sort of "principle" that must be upheld despite the effect it may have on his business, IMHO that seller has prioritization issues.

'Meaningless feedback'? 'Flawed, outdated and almost irrelevant system'?

Oh, I thought that some people, including sellers, still considered the feedback system to mean something and was still relevant, at times. And, still more 'on the fence' about it's usefulness. Hmmmm, I guess someone should tell them the 'truth'.

Not saying 'NO' doesn't mean 'YES'.

The foolishness of one's actions or words is determined by the number of witnesses.

Perhaps if Brains were described as an APP, many people would use them more often.

Respect, like money, is only of 'worth' when it is earned - with all due respect, it can not be ordained, legislated or coerced. Anonymous

luckythewinner · ‎07-09-2019

@gracieallen01 wrote:
@luckythewinner wrote:
@gracieallen01 wrote:
In general, you may be right. It seems that, for many people, principle doesn't count for much in business nowadays.
If a seller believes that denying a meaningless feedback delivered through a flawed, outdated and almost irrelevant system represent some sort of "principle" that must be upheld despite the effect it may have on his business, IMHO that seller has prioritization issues.
'Meaningless feedback'? 'Flawed, outdated and almost irrelevant system'?

Oh, I thought that some people, including sellers, still considered the feedback system to mean something and was still relevant, at times. And, still more 'on the fence' about it's usefulness. Hmmmm, I guess someone should tell them the 'truth'.

I'm not telling anyone the "truth". I am giving an opinion, like everyone else here.

Sellers can only give positives to buyers, so that means it is not really feedback at all - because eBay tells a seller how he must rate any buyer he leaves feedback for. It tells other sellers nothing about what a buyer is really like.

To me, that makes seller feedback for buyers meaningless, flawed, outdated, and almost irrelevant. The only relevance it does retain is the possibility that it might heading off a problem with a buyer who cares to much about his precious pile of positives.

gracieallen01 · ‎07-09-2019

With me, you are 'preaching to the choir'. I agree with you about the system and it's usefulness - however, I do try to look at both sides, not that I always voice both sides, you understand.

However, how many times are there feedback threads of those who wonder 'why .....' ? And, how many years has this been going on? It would, almost, prompt one to think that there were/are still people who believe in, care about and/or depend on the system.

As for the 'truth', I wasn't inferring that you, or anyone in particular except perhaps ebay, should rectify the situation.

Not saying 'NO' doesn't mean 'YES'.

The foolishness of one's actions or words is determined by the number of witnesses.

Perhaps if Brains were described as an APP, many people would use them more often.

Respect, like money, is only of 'worth' when it is earned - with all due respect, it can not be ordained, legislated or coerced. Anonymous

buyselljack2016 · ‎07-09-2019

thanks for posting

getitright1234 · ‎07-09-2019

The only action I would immediately take would be to: Block this buyer. Please do not leave this buyer feedback, because you can only leave positive, and you did not have a positive experience with this buyer.

getitright1234 · ‎07-09-2019

@luckythewinner wrote:
@whosyourcookie wrote:
Would love to hear feedback from other sellers.
eBay is a platform where a buyer and his friends can effective destroy a seller's livelihood through negative feedback, harassment and fraud.

You noticed the positive feedback he left. You already knew he was a troublesome buyer. And yet you made a conscious effort to withhold this utterly meaningless feedback in what I can only view as a passive/aggressive effort to "punish" him for not living up to your expectations as a buyer.

My advice would be to stop playing with fire.

That troublesome buyer should not be rewarded with positive feedback. Feedback is voluntary for the Buyer and Seller, a troublesome buyer demanding feedback that he knows can only be positive is the actions of a BULLY.

nc-daydreamer · ‎07-09-2019

I would just say "thanks for shopping with us - fast payer" or something simple like that. Good luck with this guy. Consider your BBL when this is over...

I am a founding member of the eBay Community Expert Group: a USA volunteer mentor with over a decade of experience. I am not an eBay employee.

Live simply. Care deeply. Love generously. Speak kindly. Laugh loudly. Act responsibly. Rejoice daily. Help cheerfully. Plan carefully. Criticize sparingly. Invest wisely. Forgive willingly. Shop seriously. Play fairly. Learn graciously.

getitright1234 · ‎07-09-2019

@ersatz_sobriquet wrote:
If the buyer didn't want to "hurt the seller" they would send the seller a private note, not publicize it for all to see.
Granted it is less damaging than a red doughnut, but it sure doesn't fall into the category of "doesn't want to hurt the seller".

Agreed. This buyer made a false and very public negative statement about this Seller's business. He absolutely wanted to hurt this Seller, so why in the world should the OP even contemplate leaving this buyer feedback that can only be positive. And we wonder why we have trouble with buyers, some of them bite, scratch, and spit in our face and we should only respond: thank you, may I please have another.

Just today, I had a buyer ask me to leave him feedback. He had already left me positive feedback, and within 2 minutes of his message, I left him positive feedback. I had no problem giving my buyer what he asked for, since I did have a positive experience with him.

turquoisetulips · ‎07-09-2019

@whosyourcookie wrote:
This story may get a little long-winded and I apologize. I just want to be thorough. And I don't really know that I'm looking for a real answer, but am curious what other sellers might think or if they have had similar things happen. I've been actively selling for about 2 years now. I sell 95% clothing. It seems about every 6 months or so you get a really strange or crazy customer. So come with me on a journey....

So a month ago I sold a used shirt. It wasn't an expensive shirt. I have free shipping/free returns(pretty much no questions asked) on 99% of my listings. I also have a disclaimer about how sometimes colors sometimes are hard to photograph accurately (because of lighting, camera, computer screens, phone screens, etc.) and also saying if you have any issue let me know and I'll make it right.

I receive what I would consider an irate e-mail about said shirt (caps and multiple exclamation marks were used). Basically stating the shirt received was dark blue and my listing said blue. They were upset it was dark blue (it looks dark blue in the pic) but I purposely try not to get super specific when naming colors because what is one color to some can vary by opinion I've noticed. I generally stick to the primary colors unless the item is very borderline (i.e. very dark navy/black or very dark gray/black which is hard to distinguish in pics sometimes, but i would never call a pink shirt red either). They claimed it wasn't the same shirt. I assured them it was, but apologized for the inconvenience and reminded them if they were unhappy in ANY way to please feel free to return it (at no cost to them, mind you) for a full refund.

They replied they were going to (begrudgingly?) keep the shirt but were not happy. OK? Strange.

I braced myself for negative feedback (would have been a first for me).

Weeks passed and then I noticed I had gotten POSITIVE feedback from the buyer....however a "snarky" comment about how the shirt was "very used". I would call that unpositive feedback? Also, no complaint of the condition of the shirt was ever brought up.

A week later I get an e-mail from this buyer about how they left me "Great" positive feedback and I should do the same for them. One day later I get a near belligerent e-mail about how they have e-mailed me 3(!) times (only 2 by my count....in 24 hours mind you) about leaving positive feedback for them and they didn't understand what my problem was.
Does this seem crazy to anyone? I didn't leave positive feedback because quite frankly I had a kinda bad interaction with the person. Their very first e-mail kind of set the tone and wasn't very nice. I'm all about making things right, especially if I am at fault. Would love to hear feedback from other sellers. I'm sure there are stories waaaay more interesting than this but would be good to hear back.

On another note, they did go on at length about how important it was for the buyers and sellers to leave feedback for each other. But what good does it do when it's fake? Doesn't it devalue what it's really there for? Or when it's "positive" with a nasty comment? Just added to the oddness of the whole situation. I DO leave feedback by the way. I'm not as good about it as I should be. And whenever someone reaches out, and it's always been politely, to please leave feedback I have ALWAYS obliged....but I think I'm going to have to pass on this one.

It sounds like this buyer is looking for validation and is desperate for attention . I would ignore his messages and add his name to your blocked list . You're not his mama . Tulips

this*old*attic · ‎07-09-2019

Ignore.

Why let him/her rent space in your head for free?

And block (which is advice I never give but this one is, um, weird and unpredictable).

dinpavent0 · ‎07-09-2019

I agree with you on most of what you said accept the last sentence. The advice about stop playing with fire. It is ebay, not the end of the world. I have gotten two negs ever and they both for remorse buys on a less than $5 item with free shipping. I just left professional reply, feedback is optional and quite frankly it is not a big deal to me. This is of course just my own opinion. If I don't want to leave feedback I don't have too just like the buyers don't have to and about 70% of them don't. I guess the OP could leave feedback just saying "thanks for purchase", keep it very simple. I think there is even an option even more simple than that in the options when leaving feedback. Just like everyone says to the sellers when they want feedback, it is optional, same goes for leaving it for buyers. I wouldn't compare it to playing with fire, I guess in my opinion I don't take it that serious. Everyone gets a nut or two or more....LOL when selling on here, and vice versa. Good luck to OP and everyone else selling and buying on this lovely site.
Hope you didn't take offense to my opinion, but I do also get where you are coming from, there are some petty ppl out there and I have seen buyers buy several items from one person and have a problem with one of the 20 purchases and decide to leave 20 different nasty feedbacks just because they can. IT is ridiculous, but in those cases I always read the replies from sellers and if it is professional and you can tell the buyer was just blantanly being a jerk, I would still buy from that seller. Some ppl take the feedback thing too serious. I am just getting to point I don't care either way. It is just at the point especially leaving it for buyers it is just plain pointless. Feel bad for OP though.