Looking for input from other sellers

[whosyourcookie]

This story may get a little long-winded and I apologize. I just want to be thorough. And I don't really know that I'm looking for a real answer, but am curious what other sellers might think or if they have had similar things happen. I've been actively selling for about 2 years now. I sell 95% clothing. It seems about every 6 months or so you get a really strange or crazy customer. So come with me on a journey....

So a month ago I sold a used shirt. It wasn't an expensive shirt. I have free shipping/free returns(pretty much no questions asked) on 99% of my listings. I also have a disclaimer about how sometimes colors sometimes are hard to photograph accurately (because of lighting, camera, computer screens, phone screens, etc.) and also saying if you have any issue let me know and I'll make it right. 

I receive what I would consider an irate e-mail about said shirt (caps and multiple exclamation marks were used). Basically stating the shirt received was dark blue and my listing said blue. They were upset it was dark blue (it looks dark blue in the pic) but I purposely try not to get super specific when naming colors because what is one color to some can vary by opinion I've noticed. I generally stick to the primary colors unless the item is very borderline (i.e. very dark navy/black or very dark gray/black which is hard to distinguish in pics sometimes, but i would never call a pink shirt red either). They claimed it wasn't the same shirt. I assured them it was, but apologized for the inconvenience and reminded them if they were unhappy in ANY way to please feel free to return it (at no cost to them, mind you) for a full refund. 

They replied they were going to (begrudgingly?) keep the shirt but were not happy. OK? Strange. 

I braced myself for negative feedback (would have been a first for me). 

Weeks passed and then I noticed I had gotten POSITIVE feedback from the buyer....however a "snarky" comment about how the shirt was "very used". I would call that unpositive feedback? Also, no complaint of the condition of the shirt was ever brought up. 

A week later I get an e-mail from this buyer about how they left me "Great" positive feedback and I should do the same for them.  One day later I get a near belligerent e-mail about how they have e-mailed me 3(!) times (only 2 by my count....in 24 hours mind you) about leaving positive feedback for them and they didn't understand what my problem was.

Does this seem crazy to anyone? I didn't leave positive feedback because quite frankly I had a kinda bad interaction with the person. Their very first e-mail kind of set the tone and wasn't very nice. I'm all about making things right, especially if I am at fault. Would love to hear feedback from other sellers. I'm sure there are stories waaaay more interesting than this but would be good to hear back. 

On another note, they did go on at length about how important it was for the buyers and sellers to leave feedback for each other. But what good does it do when it's fake? Doesn't it devalue what it's really there for? Or when it's "positive" with a nasty comment? Just added to the oddness of the whole situation. I DO leave feedback by the way. I'm not as good about it as I should be. And whenever someone reaches out, and it's always been politely, to please leave feedback  I have ALWAYS obliged....but I think I'm going to have to pass on this one. 

[a_c_green]

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@whosyourcookie wrote:

A week later I get an e-mail from this buyer about how they left me "Great" positive feedback and I should do the same for them.  One day later I get a near belligerent e-mail about how they have e-mailed me 3(!) times (only 2 by my count....in 24 hours mind you) about leaving positive feedback for them and they didn't understand what my problem was. 

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By leaving feedback for you, he's already shot off all his ammunition, so I would just stop responding at this point, and add him to your Blocked Bidder List to prevent similar difficulties in the future. If he ever does want to return the shirt (which seems doubtful at this point), he still has that option. You don't owe him Positive feedback after the conniption fit he's put up so far.

My data point on the feedback question: I don't leave it for the buyer unless or until he leaves it for me first, as it's the buyer who really determines when the transaction is concluded. There's no advantage to leaving an immediate Positive for the buyer, only to then get blindsided by a SNAD dispute or other buyer headache after that, thus rendering your premature buyer Positive now somewhere between meaningless and misleading. Best to wait until the buyer signals that he's happy, or otherwise reports some issue that needs to be addressed.

[beez5720]

@a_c_green
I was of the same mindset at one time that leaving an early Positive for buyers can result in the transaction going bad and you have no recourse regarding feedback at that point. But I figured I would use the Positive for buyers as a "Thank you", and if anyone leaves me a negative, neutral or false positive, I found that it is more useful to just respond to that. Because I already leave them "favorable" feedback, they have no reason to annoy me with (what I call) feedback negotiations. So I decided, ultimately, that leaving "Thank you" feedbacks first is a pre-emptive strike and any problems that arise later will be dealt with accordingly at that time (even though I do sometimes want to take my Thank you back - lol).

[ersatz_sobriquet]

Oh gawd, it's a feedie thread. 

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

False positives are really only a thing when left for buyers. When buyers cannot get negatives, a false positive is when a seller leaves a negative comment with a green dot. It is against the rules. 

When a seller gets a green dot with a negative comment they should be thankful. It will scroll down the page and be lost in a sea of green unless they respond and point it out. 

It is not against the rules for a buyer to leave a negative comment with a green dot. Buyers are not trying to do it to skirt the rules. It is not even comparable. On one side is a cheating seller intentionally breaking the rules. On the other is a buyer who wants to send a message but doesn't want to do anything that will hurt the seller. They're diametrically opposed IMHO.

[ersatz_sobriquet]

If the buyer didn't want to "hurt the seller" they would send the seller a private note, not publicize it for all to see. 

Granted it is less damaging than a red doughnut, but it sure doesn't fall into the category of "doesn't want to hurt the seller". 

[a_c_green]

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@ersatz_sobriquet wrote:

Oh gawd, it's a feedie thread. 

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Hah!  Ayup... but at least it's a thoughtful one, and not yet another perpetuated by He Who Shall Not Be Named, who simply pops up and replies to himself every Saturday.

[ersatz_sobriquet]

Please bury this thread before Saturday 😉

[frodobagginskennedy]

I would reply to feedback. Yes they made a purchase.

[dflkj-70]

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@iart wrote:

The person may be mentally ill. As there doesn't seem to be any downside to this for you, I'd move on.

But feedback. We leave it when the item is shipped. I don't like doing this because the deal isn't done until the buyer gets the item and accepts it. But buyers expect feedback soon after they pay. We've done it this way for years and were afraid that  it would leave us open to a lot of negatives, but it hasn't.

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I have found we tend to get more negativity when we do not leave feedback immediately.

[frodobagginskennedy]

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@the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth wrote:

False positives are really only a thing when left for buyers. When buyers cannot get negatives, a false positive is when a seller leaves a negative comment with a green dot. It is against the rules. 

When a seller gets a green dot with a negative comment they should be thankful. It will scroll down the page and be lost in a sea of green unless they respond and point it out. 

It is not against the rules for a buyer to leave a negative comment with a green dot. Buyers are not trying to do it to skirt the rules. It is not even comparable. On one side is a cheating seller intentionally breaking the rules. On the other is a buyer who wants to send a message but doesn't want to do anything that will hurt the seller. They're diametrically opposed IMHO.

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I have had a positive with a negative comment removed from a buyer.  All I did was call.

[gracieallen01]

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@luckythewinner wrote:

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@gracieallen01 wrote:

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Perhaps there are still some sellers that - right, wrong or indifferent - just don't take the 'path of appeasement and/or least resistance'.

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I'm sure there are. But in that case, the seller should not be surprised when the occasional buyer is not appeased and resists. To me, it comes down to whether you are here to make money, or to prove a point.

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In general, you may be right.  It seems that, for many people, principle doesn't count for much in business nowadays.

[luckythewinner]

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@gracieallen01 wrote:

In general, you may be right.  It seems that, for many people, principle doesn't count for much in business nowadays.

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If a seller believes that denying a meaningless feedback delivered through a flawed, outdated and almost irrelevant system represent some sort of "principle" that must be upheld despite the effect it may have on his business, IMHO that seller has prioritization issues.

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

Then that was a CS rep who didn't understand the rule. It clearly applies only to feedback left for a buyer. It is violating the no neg policy. Leaving that feedback for a seller violates nothing in itself.

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

Not that I can find the rule that covers false positives, Ebay has totally destroyed the help section. No wonder new members don't understand the rules. 

[fashunu4eeuh]

Electing to withhold feedback from this afflicted person will perpetuate more angst. Though he may not deserve it, I would leave the transaction on a high note with a polite comment, and then put the matter behind me with no further communication.