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First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX address

[Summary of messages communciation at the bottom.]

 

Well, I just got the first real negative feedback in 17 years for trying to be too careful.  (The prevous and only negative feedback in 2003 was a mistake that the buyer retracted.)


Because ebay (and Paypal) favors buyers over sellers when conflicts arise, sophisticated buyers with intentions to scam use that to their advantage.  Therefore, I'm very paranoid about being a victim of a buying scams.  I'm not a business or PowerSeller so every sale counts.  Having any fraudulent chargebacks would be devastating.

 

I sold an item for $2774.  After the buyer sent Paypal payment, I noticed that the address was a UPS mailbox.  I'm not totally against shipping something to a PO BOX but as a personal precaution, and especially for something this expensive, I need to talk to the buyer on the phone to verify everything.

 

(My friend has a UPS mailbox and Chase VISA denied her credit application because she used that address on the application.  Apparently, many financial companies blacklist UPS mailbox addresses because of fraud.  Therefore, I'm not the only one that's wary of them.)

 

He refused to talk on the phone and insisted I just ship it to him.  The whole thing had too many red flags to me and so I just refunded his Paypal payment and cancelled the transaction.  This angered him enough to leave negative feedback.  Also, since the $285 ebay Final Value Fee is still on my account, I assume he clicked on "didn't agree to cancel" option, which means I still owe ebay $285 for money I don't have!

 

Is there anything I can do?  I'm more concerned about getting a credit for the $285 than the negative feedback.

 

I'm also not sure of how to process any lessons learned (if any) here.  Ebay doesn't let you prescreen buyers so once they've paid, you're at the buyer's mercy.  (Arguably, even if the buyer hasn't paid, you're still at their mercy since they can hold you up from relisting the item for 10 days.)  I don't like buyers issuing ultimatums, veiled threats, and bullying to pressure me to make a sale that looks dishonest.  I don't know what to do.  Continually paying FVF for money I don't have because of PayPal refunds is obviously unsustainable.

 

If you've read the messages, what should I have done differently?  Was I being unreasonable?  Is ebay the wrong venue for this type of high-priced gear?  Have scammers made selling high-dollar items unsafe for modest homeowners like me?  I can't afford fraudulent chargebacks as "cost of doing business" -- because I'm not a Powerseller business that uses other sales to make up for the bad ones.

 

I just read the recent thread of a seller being scammed out of a $6500 sewing machine here:  https://community.ebay.com/t5/Selling/Victim-of-buyer-fraud/td-p/28471713

 

What should a seller do to try to prevent a nightmare like that?  Nothing? Is asking for a phone call verification to ship to an address that credit-cards blacklist really unreasonable?  Sure a phone call is not foolproof against scams but it's at least something.  And yes, ebay's policies says buyers have every right to force the seller to ship without extra verification but ebay is not the one suffering the loss of $2800 or $6500 here; it's us. 

 

Lastly, any suggestions for the text should I put as my response to the negative feedback?  Buyer wrote "seller canceled transaction for no reason" which is clearly false.  I think I had valid reasons for not wanting to lose $2800.

 

-----

[A quoted summary text of the messages exchanged is at the bottom with userid replaced with generic "John Doe" and "Buyer" and addresses replaced with fake Metropolis Gotham City.  It is not an exact transcript.  Hopefully this avoids it being marked as spam.]

 

(Read from bottom to top like messages in ebay messages system.)

 

[Seller]
There's nothing I can say on a private phone call that ebay would favor for me. The buyer (you) always holds the advantage. ebay judgment is always overwhelming in favor of The Buyer.

I could hypothetically say on the private phone call that "I'm going to ship you a box of bricks so ignore what the ebay product photos" and IT WOULDN'T MATTER. Ebay would just point back to what the ebay listing actually had.

The phone call was for my assurances of an honest transaction. It cost you, the buyer, nothing in the eyes of ebay.

I mean, I guess I could send "private" email to your JohnDoe@fakemail.com address. It still doesn't reduce your stance with ebay in any way even though ebay can't see all your personal emails. Your opinion about ebay not being in the loop of a private phone call doesn't make sense to me.

Could you set your vindictiveness aside and please confirm the cancellation of the transaction?


[Buyer, John Doe]
Transparency is accomplished by communicating on eBay. And I could just as easily say the way you were communicating, intentional or not, felt as if you trying to strongarm me into a private phone call, which by the way is against eBay policy.

 

[Seller]:
It is your right to leave negative feedback but it's not worth it to have 100% feedback if it means I lose $2800 because I didn't do proper due diligence on where I was shipping a very expensive item.

Maybe it's your (unintentional) style of communication but it had the tone of "blackmail" and I have to protect myself from potential scams. I'm distressed that my fears about this transaction going terribly wrong has irritated you.

(The more I think about it, the stranger it seems that a buyer wouldn't want to hear from the seller who's shipping a $3000 unit. It's just very weird in my 17 years of ebay transactions.)

I don't want to do hostile transactions with no transparency. Your correspondence with ultimatums gave me no assurances this was an honest transaction. Therefore, it's not true that "seller canceled transaction for no reason". I've explained my reasons several times.

If you could please confirm the cancellation of the ebay transaction so I can relist it immediately, I would greatly appreciate it. I quickly refunded your PayPal payment and would appreciate you returning the courtesy by quickly cancelling the ebay transaction. Thank you.

 

[Buyer, John Doe]
Unfortunately, that was not at your discretion to do and you have been reported. That's a shame seeing as you have 100% feedback.

 

[Seller]:
Sorry, I'm very afraid of this and I can't do it. I'm also concerned that you're not acknowledging my misgivings about this transaction.

I have refunded your Paypal payment.

I have cancelled the order with the reason: "Something was wrong with the buyer's shipping address"

Please confirm the cancellation so I can relist it. Thank you and I'm sorry we couldn't make this work.

 

[Buyer, John Doe]
So, I talked to eBay and they said you should ship because I already paid and its a legally binding contract.

 

[Seller]:
Ok, sorry for inconveniencing you. Hopefully, you can come up with something that makes me comfortable.

Just an fyi, there's 40 minutes left before the 6pm cutoff to ship it today. I can also ship it tomorrow and you'll still receive it for the weekend.

I'm putting your paypal address here for ebay records: JohnDoe@fakemail.com


[Buyer, John Doe]
Give me a minute to talk to eBay and see if I can figure out something.

 

[Seller]:
Ok, I understand. Can I refund your PayPal money and we can cancel this ebay transaction? I'm just not comfortable shipping there without a phone call.

It's a combination of red flags to me. The post office box is one issue. The other is a google search on your name in Metropolis doesn't turn up anything of note.

https://www.google.com/search?q="John+Doe"+Metropolis

Yes, your ebay profile says you've been a member since 2006 but I have no idea if your account has been hijacked or what. That's why I'm looking for warm and fuzzies by talking to somebody. (If you want to record the phone call, you're certainly welcome to do that.)

Of the previous 20 times I've requested a phone chat, this is the first time the buyer refused. I totally understand your stance but I just get this weird feeling that the unit is going to a black hole and I'm going to lose $2800.

 

[Buyer, John Doe]
I live at the Metropolis Gotham City Resort which is a hotel that also has condos in it, one of which I am renting. I don't trust the hotel with packages because they are rude and have bad customer service. Thats why I have a box at the UPS store. It is a personal mailbox, not for business. If anything were to go wrong, ebay has no way of knowing what we discussed in a phone call.


[Seller]:
I understand your concern. I'm not trying to do anything outside of ebay but simply to confirm the details. I looked at the shipping address and it looks like it's going to a UPS mailbox. When that happens, I prefer to talk to the actual person with a live voice call who bought this to help prevent scams. I'm not rich so I can't afford to send out a $2800 item to an address I'm not comfortable with.

To add to the ebay recordkeeping, if the #976 is also your mailbox for business mail, please put the name of that business in the reply. Thanks,


[Buyer, John Doe]
I prefer to do all communication on ebay so there is a record of everything.


[Seller]:
Hello, I got your PayPal payment and I'm ready to ship the compressor.

Since this is an expensive item, do you have a phone # I can call so we can chat for 2 minutes so I can verify the details? Thanks,

Message 1 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

Everyone has different opinions - as I said a friend's dad has an apt in a pricey Toronto hotel. Because items dp get misplaced when delivered to the front desk - they use a private mailservice for their mail and packages. Some people may have better luck than others,

Message 211 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

 


@goodluckselling wrote:

@zdynx wrote:

You misread what happened.  I wasn't trying to extract a secret home street address and change the shipping to the other address.  Instead, I wanted to verify that he was indeed the correct person attached to the UPS mailbox.  I would then willingly ship to that mailbox.


I did not mis read anything.  Your message clearly show you wanted to ship to a physical address 


Wrong.  I absolutely did not want to ship to his secret home address and I never ever requested it.  The UPS mailbox was already the PayPal Confirmed Address so I would rather ship there.  Shipping to his secret (unconfirmed) home condominium address on the beach would make things worse for me and give me even less protection.

 


Your carrier of choice was also UPS so the package would have been in the hands of UPS the entire journey and handed off to a UPS agent and given directly to the buyer from a UPS agent.

Yep, totally agree on the advantages.

 

Message 212 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@myangelandmyprincess wrote:

@city*satins wrote:

However, the emphasis on "paid" is unnecessary and irrelevant. 

 

Contractually - it's not entirely irrelevant but that's a discussion for some other day. 

 

But  it sure wouldn't be irrelevant to most buyers, who will have to wait a few business days to see their payment returned and accessible if they funded it with a card. Most buyers don't keep that much money in their Paypal accounts, and the refund you issued won't be deposited in their Paypal account - it'll be returned to their card. That represents X number of days before they have those funds available again to buy the item from some seller who won't get the collywobbles and will actually ship to them.

 


The same problem occurs if they paid with a bank account.  The refund won't clear until it clears the bank and then it just ends up as a PayPal balance that they have to transfer back to the bank unless they plan on spending out of PayPal  


Right. Either way, unless the payment was made from a Paypal balance, the cancelled sale is a big nuisance to a buyer, especially if he doesn't have another $2800 to throw at purchasing something today because yesterday's refunded payment isn't available for use to buy the item from a different seller.

 


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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

All of this assumes, by the way - that the seller hadn't already withdrawn the funds from Paypal before deciding not to go through with the sale, because in that case there's yet another delay while Paypal clears the refund funds from the seller's bank or credit card and THEN refunds the buyer who THEN has to wait for it to show up in his account.

 

Don't know if every seller here knows or has noticed - even if your payments are instantaneous because your account is backed up with a card, the refunds you issue aren't. If you don't have the full refund amount as a balance in your Paypal account, your refund is treated like an e-check.


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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@city*satins wrote:

All of this assumes, by the way - that the seller hadn't already withdrawn the funds from Paypal before deciding not to go through with the sale, because in that case there's yet another delay while Paypal clears the refund funds from the seller's bank or credit card and THEN refunds the buyer who THEN has to wait for it to show up in his account.

 

Don't know if every seller here knows or has noticed - even if your payments are instantaneous because your account is backed up with a card, the refunds you issue aren't. If you don't have the full refund amount as a balance in your Paypal account, your refund is treated like an e-check.


Some of what you say is true but it isn't completely accurate.  I'm not sure where the e-check come in at, but that isn't how they handle it unless the seller was paid with an echeck.

 

If it was money in the buyer's PP account, then the refund is quick and easy to get back to the buyer.  If they paid with an echeck, then yes the reverse would happen and that does take a few days to get the funds back to the buyers bank account.

 

If they paid via credit card, the the original credit card / debit card payment is reverse than that takes a certain amount of time to get processed back to their card too. 


mam98031  •  Volunteer Community Member  •  Buyer/Seller since 1999
Message 215 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@mam98031 wrote:

@city*satins wrote:

All of this assumes, by the way - that the seller hadn't already withdrawn the funds from Paypal before deciding not to go through with the sale, because in that case there's yet another delay while Paypal clears the refund funds from the seller's bank or credit card and THEN refunds the buyer who THEN has to wait for it to show up in his account.

 

Don't know if every seller here knows or has noticed - even if your payments are instantaneous because your account is backed up with a card, the refunds you issue aren't. If you don't have the full refund amount as a balance in your Paypal account, your refund is treated like an e-check.


Some of what you say is true but it isn't completely accurate.  I'm not sure where the e-check come in at, but that isn't how they handle it unless the seller was paid with an echeck.

 

If it was money in the buyer's PP account, then the refund is quick and easy to get back to the buyer.  If they paid with an echeck, then yes the reverse would happen and that does take a few days to get the funds back to the buyers bank account.

 

If they paid via credit card, the the original credit card / debit card payment is reverse than that takes a certain amount of time to get processed back to their card too. 


I think you're misunderstanding me.  I'm saying that the SELLER who is issuing a refund has to have the funds sitting in his or her Paypal account for the outgoing part of the refund (from seller to buyer) to be instantaneous.  

 

For example, suppose you sell something for $75, are paid and withdraw the funds from your Paypal account to your bank account.  Then for whatever reason (either that day or two weeks later) you have to refund the buyer.

 

If you (the seller) do not have the $75 (or $75 less 2.9%) in your Paypal account to cover the refund, the portion that isn't in your Paypal account will be withdrawn via your funding source but not instantly.  It'll be treated like an e-check and until it clears into your Paypal account, even if you had $70 in your Paypal account and are just $2.18 short - the $2.18 is going to come out of your bank account and will take the same amount of time as an e-check and only THEN will the buyer get the $75 transferred to him by Paypal.   

 

THEN if the buyer's payment was funded with a credit card - the clock starts again, to get the refund $ deposited into the buyer's card account.

 

That's why, as a seller, if you have to issue a refund, you really want to do it when the full refund amount is sitting as a balance in your Paypal account. Otherwise tick tick tick....there's a delay caused by the seller.


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Message 216 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

You must be on a different paypal. Monday night I issued a $100.00 refund $95.00 balance was in paypal and they just debited the entire hundy from my bank account and left the $95.00 in paypal...

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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@bubbleman2010 wrote:

You must be on a different paypal. Monday night I issued a $100.00 refund $95.00 balance was in paypal and they just debited the entire hundy from my bank account and left the $95.00 in paypal...


https://www.paypal.com/us/smarthelp/article/common-questions-about-issuing-refunds-faq3214

 

Why was the refund I issued taken out of my bank account?

When you send a refund we’ll always first attempt to debit it from your PayPal balance. If you don’t have enough money in your account, the entire refund will be issued from the primary bank account linked to your PayPal account. It usually takes 3 to 5 business days for bank payments to complete and become available in your buyer’s PayPal balance.  Even if the refund status says complete in your PayPal account, it could still take a few days for the bank to process (every bank’s processing times varies).

 

Good Luck Selling!

Message 218 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

I thought maybe folks were on different paypals than me according to post prior to mine...

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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@city*satins wrote:

@mam98031 wrote:

@city*satins wrote:

All of this assumes, by the way - that the seller hadn't already withdrawn the funds from Paypal before deciding not to go through with the sale, because in that case there's yet another delay while Paypal clears the refund funds from the seller's bank or credit card and THEN refunds the buyer who THEN has to wait for it to show up in his account.

 

Don't know if every seller here knows or has noticed - even if your payments are instantaneous because your account is backed up with a card, the refunds you issue aren't. If you don't have the full refund amount as a balance in your Paypal account, your refund is treated like an e-check.


Some of what you say is true but it isn't completely accurate.  I'm not sure where the e-check come in at, but that isn't how they handle it unless the seller was paid with an echeck.

 

If it was money in the buyer's PP account, then the refund is quick and easy to get back to the buyer.  If they paid with an echeck, then yes the reverse would happen and that does take a few days to get the funds back to the buyers bank account.

 

If they paid via credit card, the the original credit card / debit card payment is reverse than that takes a certain amount of time to get processed back to their card too. 


I think you're misunderstanding me.  I'm saying that the SELLER who is issuing a refund has to have the funds sitting in his or her Paypal account for the outgoing part of the refund (from seller to buyer) to be instantaneous.  

 

For example, suppose you sell something for $75, are paid and withdraw the funds from your Paypal account to your bank account.  Then for whatever reason (either that day or two weeks later) you have to refund the buyer.

 

If you (the seller) do not have the $75 (or $75 less 2.9%) in your Paypal account to cover the refund, the portion that isn't in your Paypal account will be withdrawn via your funding source but not instantly.  It'll be treated like an e-check and until it clears into your Paypal account, even if you had $70 in your Paypal account and are just $2.18 short - the $2.18 is going to come out of your bank account and will take the same amount of time as an e-check and only THEN will the buyer get the $75 transferred to him by Paypal.   

 

THEN if the buyer's payment was funded with a credit card - the clock starts again, to get the refund $ deposited into the buyer's card account.

 

That's why, as a seller, if you have to issue a refund, you really want to do it when the full refund amount is sitting as a balance in your Paypal account. Otherwise tick tick tick....there's a delay caused by the seller.


The ONLY time it is an "instant" refund is going back to the buyer's PP account WHEN the original payment by the seller was from cash in their PP account.  If this results in an overdraft in the seller's PP account, that is a separate issue.

 

For example if the seller has a claim filed in Ebay or PP against them and Ebay or PP rule against them, they pull the money from their PP account.  If their account has no funds in it, it goes into a negative balance.  Now certainly PP can go to the sellers attached funding account and pull the money, but they do not always do that right away.  That does NOT delay the refund to the buyer.  The deficit in the sellers account is between the seller and PP.  The buye is Not affected by it.

 

 


mam98031  •  Volunteer Community Member  •  Buyer/Seller since 1999
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@bubbleman2010 wrote:

OOOOPSY!!!! missed that UPS mailbox is even worst than a P.O. box


How is that?  EVERY carrier delivers to a PMB because they will sign for packages.   UPS won't deliver to a USPS box, so people who use UPS have to select the option to not allow people with USPS boxes to bid on their items.   The last time I got that, I was asked to supply a street address before bidding.   The block does work, or at least it did 3 or 4 years ago.  It has nothing to do with security, it has everything to do with the ability to accept deliveries.  You can't drop off a package at USPS without handing over some money.

Message 221 of 255
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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

Who would sign for a insured signature required UPS package thats dropped at a post office going to P.O. box?

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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@bubbleman2010 wrote:

Who would sign for a insured signature required UPS package thats dropped at a post office going to P.O. box?


simple there would be a slip inside the person's mailbox asking them to come to the counter and sign for the package

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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr


@bubbleman2010 wrote:

Who would sign for a insured signature required UPS package thats dropped at a post office going to P.O. box?


UPS does not deliver to Post Office boxes. 

 

Ref: https://www.ups.com/us/en/help-center/sri/ship-box.page

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Re: First negative feedback in 17 years because buyer retaliated to my fears of scam and PO BOX addr

Who would be held responsible for any shipping damage?

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