A Bit of Silliness: Orange Weaponry

[bekkamom0f4]

Okay, are we feeling the holiday craziness yet? I did a thread about this in one of my groups last year, and it was a fun, so I thought I do it again, for all of us who are dizzy from the fumes from cooking so much and turned every which way from shopping, etc. This will hopefully make you at least GIGGLE a bit. This bunch of silliness emerged after a story my mother-in-law told me. She has a group of friends that she does EVERYTHING with - you know, they were support when their kids were young, they went to the same church, the went to each other's kids' weddings, they've been on cruises together, they know all the others' grandkids on sight, etc. Well, one day, some years ago, they were playing "Scattergories". YOu know, the game where you are given a letter and some categories and you have to name as many things as you can in those categories that starts with the chosen letter and you get points for any thing you name that no one else lists, provided it does fit its category. Well, one catergory came up "weapons" and the letter happened to be "O". And of course, everyone was STUMPED. But my MinL's friend Gail, for some inexplicable reason, listed "Orange". And then, of course, wanting points, tried to argue it was a valid answer ("Well, it is if you THROW it at somebody really hard!" - and no, the others didn't allow it...) So, last year my mother-in-law tells me this story, and we are laughing and a warped idea popped in my head. I made this both to amuse my MinL and for her to give to Gail..... And it was so silly, I shared it. And now I'm sharing it with you.... (go on to next post...) Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[bekkamom0f4]

The History of the Orange as a Weapon

From the dawn of pre-history, the orange has been used as a weapon. The earliest known use of oranges was for hunting, as depicted in pre-historic cave paintings:

The Roman Empire expanded its borders and put fear in the hearts of its' enemies with the "ballista arantium" (the dreaded "orange ballista"):

(more silliness to come...) Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[bekkamom0f4]

Even in Roman times, the orange was a common weapon for use with a sling, and this continued through the middle ages, as seen in this depiction of David and Goliath:

More commonly, oranges were used as melee weapons:

(Is this silly enough for you yet? No? Okay...) Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[bekkamom0f4]

Of course, for seiges, a larger weapon was needed to attack thick castle walls:

In the late middle ages, orange-based artillery using gunpowder was developed:

This eventually led to the development of that scourge of Victorian-era warfare, the orange cannon:

(more...) Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[bekkamom0f4]

In the Far East, more personal weaponry was developed, such as the orange-chaku:

In Japan, only the Samurai class were allowed to carry oranges:

(It gets even sillier...) Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[bekkamom0f4]

Of course, in more modern times, much more deadly weaponry has evolved. Many a man in the trenches of WWI experienced the horror of the orange granade:

Oranges have become such a staple of military might that every soldier receives training the proper method to throw an orange:

(Where is this leading? Wait for it....) Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[bekkamom0f4]

Of course, perhaps our orange technology has outstripped our sense of survival. Now we have to worry about W.O.D.s- Weapons of Orange Destruction!

Which is why we must learn to trust those in the intelligence "business", to keep us abreast of the latest dangers. Of course, the most famous of those is....

Agent Orange!!!

*FIN*

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Do you feel better now? I hope so! Feel free to swipe any of the illustrations, as they are simply public domain images that I modified by adding the oranges. And silly comments always welcome! Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[jjohnsonlowe]

"Orange" you smart!!! -- just Jana (I got tired of the dancing fairy!)

[artistjillian]

:) -- ~Jillian artist, Jillian Crider ... google works for ME!

[nitelvr]

lol Sandra

[316barri]

what a hoot!can i send this to my sister?she's a waitress who DOES throw oranges,lol! -- maiyuguachi..."no sweat"

[bekkamom0f4]

Oh yes, take it, use it, scrap a page about it, I don't care. I took public domain photos, a public domain photo of an orange, and have declared the results to be public domain. So swipe away!! LOL Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer

[316barri]

thank you! -- maiyuguachi..."no sweat"

[sue-jim]

Orange Juice glad we have such a creative person in our midst? ROFLMAO Sue

[bekkamom0f4]

Well, like the French would say, it's good to have creative people in "le monde" (pronounce it out for the pun... teeheehee) Lemonade anyone? Bekka -- P.I.C.N.I.C. error: P_roblem I_n C_hair, N_ot I_n C_omputer