Funny Listings Thread

[gurlcat]

Whenever you come across a listing that gives you a chuckle, how's about taking a screenshot and sharing what tickled you?  It could be anything from funny photos, to titles, photobombs, wacko description content, gloriously bad photos, items that are funny themselves, like things you can't believe anyone would offer on eBay, or any funny thing I'm probably not even imagining right now.  Obviously we'd want to conceal the sellers' usernames.   Also ... free country and all, but maybe let's not include 'outrage' listings, like where sellers are trying to get offsite business, obvious scams, obscenity, etc. (unless it's hilarious scams or obscenity, etc.).  😆   There are plenty of threads about wrongdoing in the other forums, so let's see if we can have this one just for gits and shiggles.  

If this gets any traction I promise I will start making regular additions because I window shop here all the time, and usually at least one listing cracks me up every time.  

[gurlcat]

This is far from the funniest listing I've seen and it takes a wee bit of geology/jewelry nerdery to 'get' this .... but "Lapis Lazilin" made a loud hoot come out of me so fast I scared my poor sleeping cat.  I think that's what Snoop Dogg would call Lapis Lazuli.  

[wastingtime101]

There's a former poster from this forum that used to talk about how she intentionally searched for typos to get good deals. Her most frequently told story was about the purchase of a crystal "bowel."

[gurlcat]

😆Thank you but I will stick to my plastic bowel. 

-I've seen a crystal bowel.  Around 2002 my mammology professor brought a giant mountain lion to class, for us to necropsy.  -It had been found already dead in a quarry just outside Little Rock, where I lived at the time.  He was neutered (therefore extra huge), declawed, and his canines were filed blunt.  The pericardium was all stretched from being over-full of fluid but that could have just been from obesity, so we kept looking.  Then in the stomach we found chopped chicken leg bones, with a weird white paste oozing out of them, instead of red or brown marrow like you'd expect.  The professor had a hunch and took a sample of that gunk to a police buddy ... sure enough, it was meth, so the poor baby was intentionally poisoned by somebody.  I don't reckon any of the crystal actually had time to reach his bowel, but this joke got awful dark, SO ANYWAY......!  
      When I first got this model I kept it by the fridge, thinking it might curb my snacking.  No, I just stopped seeing it.  
       

[gurlcat]

I can't decide if this one's funny or grim. 
Either:
The seller took the advice of using natural light for jewelry too literally.  Like even barely any little light from a small window across the room at twilight is better than plenty of bright artificial light.
Or, this poor soul is trying to sacrifice her jewelry collection to get the power turned back on.

There is such bleakness and such beauty, if Andrew Wyeth had been an eBay seller, his all his listings would have looked like this.

[wastingtime101]

Not funny. Just a seller that doesn’t know any better.

[gurlcat]

It's totally funny, you're just a humbug.

How about this then?  People who claim their stuff to be "high end."  First of all whenever I see that term I picture something sticking its' butt up in the air.  But that's just my weird head; what's INDISPUTABLE is that so-called "high end" (or "highend") stuff will always be mediocre at best, and usually not even that. 

Here's the epitome.  - $175 for used Walmart/Target jewelry.  Displayed in a pile, you know, the way "highend" jewelry always is.  🤣

[fbusoni]

@gurlcat 

Just now seeing this thread.  I need to post here more often.  Looks like fun.