I had two items in my cart from the same seller yesterday and was unable to click the "request total from seller" link--it was inactive/greyed out. I emailed the seller via eBay messages, and she said that function has been iffy lately. She recommended I pay full price for the items and she'd reimburse me the difference--which she did. I really don't know any other way around it but to contact the seller and ask that they reimburse you the difference between "gross" shipping and "net" shipping, for lack of a better way to put it.
