I don't understand your title on this thread - the eBay labels rate is as good as it gets.
When you look at your listing you see the Parcel Select cost to YOUR zipcode. If you change the buyer's zip code on the shipping and payments tab you will see the cost to the buyers zip code.
If it's the Keystone grinder, it would cost $60.60 shipping to me here in California. You really should have offered FedEx Ground/Home Delivery on that item - guessing at 15x12x12 pkg dimensions it would cost under $30 to here (under half the PS cost), and under $24 to a zone 5 buyer.
There are some problems with non-standard purchases such as when you invoice a buyer - if they use a different address when paying, they will still pay only the original shipping amount on the invoice. (ie: a buyer changes their primary shipping address to one in your city in PA, purchases the item, you invoice them, they pay shipping to your city, but they checkout with their California address - you eat the shipping cost increase)
That shouldn't be the case with an offer though (I don't think). If you accept the offer teh buyer should have to pay the normal calculated shipping to their checkout address.
(others here are better equipped to help with those details)
