When is it okay for a seller to call a buyer on the phone?

[christworks]

Recently I made a purchase which included multiple items of the same product.  A few hours after I paid, the seller called me on the telephone and informed me they did not have all the items to send.   The seller stated they had miscounted, and also needed to keep some of the product they did have for themselves.  The seller asked if I wanted the order cancelled.  Of course, I wanted the order cancelled.  Did the seller expect me to say, "No, you just keep my money"?    

I told the seller I would not leave negative feedback.  That said, when the seller cancelled the order, instead of owning the mistake and taking the hit, they selected that I wanted the order cancelled.   I then realized that the reason why the seller called me was to avoid the hit on their account.  I found the action sneaky and underhanded.   

I used to sell on eBay years ago, and recently returned to selling earlier this year.  I completely understand how mistakes happen from time to time.  I made a made an error and miscounted how many items I had of a certain product.  When the last one sold, I realized I did not have it.  I cancelled the order, issued a refund, and apologized to the buyer.  My account took a hit, but that was fine because I was in the wrong.  It motivated me to do better and ensure I have everything I list in stock.

In my case as the buyer, I kept my word and did not leave negative feedback.  I did leave neutral feedback because I did not appreciate the seller's tactics.   Afterward, the seller officially asked me to revise the feedback, stating they called eBay and was told it was okay that they called me.  I reached out to eBay through chat.  They confirmed to me exactly what I recalled from having sold previously:  Sellers should only call buyers in very limited circumstances; such as, if the purchase is a local pick-up or in cases where a vehicle is being sold.  Ebay advised me to report the seller though my account so they can take action against them.  I am hesitant to do that because I feel that is too harsh.  The seller has sold well over 5,000 items, so they are not new at this. 

Am I being too harsh? Am I not being harsh enough?  I feel like the neutral feedback I left is more than fair.  Notably, the seller did not leave me feedback.  They seem to only be concerned about their own.  

[janet9988]

That seller has 6 revised feedback so this seller has had problems before and just seems to keep getting lucky talking buyers into canceling or changing feedbacks

.. The OP did NOT ask the SELLER to cancel.......instead the SELLER asked the OP if they would like to cancel.

BIG difference.

[gurlcat]

🤣.   Understatement of the year.  I wish I knew how viable this was as a career and how much I would enjoy it before I set one foot in college, and had been doing this instead in all the years since.  I'd be sitting real pretty right now.  

[gurlcat]

I didn't say the OP asked the seller to cancel.  I'm quite clear that the seller asked if the OP would like to cancel, and why they did it.  My response to that is, big deal.  

[christworks]

An update, after reading @gurlcat 's post, I did revise my feedback and removed any reference to the seller being sneaky.  I kept the rating as I think it is appropriate.  I then messaged the seller to let them know I revised my wording and why I kept the rating the same.  I explained to the seller that eBay had suggested I report them, but that I was not going to do that.  I asked the seller to please move past the neutral rating and use it to make them a better seller.  They appear to be quite successful, and I congratulated them on that. I've since had at least three messages from  the seller still pushing the issue.  The seller has now resorted to being manipulative, telling me basically how hard their life is, they were in the hospital sick for a while, etc.  They said they talked to eBay again and someone from eBay was going to contact me directly.  

Thanks again for the comments...

[mam98031]

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@janet9988 wrote:

That seller has 6 revised feedback so this seller has had problems before and just seems to keep getting lucky talking buyers into canceling or changing feedbacks

.. The OP did NOT ask the SELLER to cancel.......instead the SELLER asked the OP if they would like to cancel.

BIG difference.

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That is absolutely an assumption.  The revised FB count simply means that for whatever reason there may have been the FB was revised.  It does not separate buyer issues from seller issues.  Not all revisions are due to a seller getting a negative FB removed.

[mam98031]

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@christworks wrote:

An update, after reading @gurlcat 's post, I did revise my feedback and removed any reference to the seller being sneaky.  I kept the rating as I think it is appropriate.  I then messaged the seller to let them know I revised my wording and why I kept the rating the same.  I explained to the seller that eBay had suggested I report them, but that I was not going to do that.  I asked the seller to please move past the neutral rating and use it to make them a better seller.  They appear to be quite successful, and I congratulated them on that. I've since had at least three messages from  the seller still pushing the issue.  The seller has now resorted to being manipulative, telling me basically how hard their life is, they were in the hospital sick for a while, etc.  They said they talked to eBay again and someone from eBay was going to contact me directly.  

Thanks again for the comments...

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A neutral FB does not hurt a seller except emotionally or possibly their ego.  But as far as Ebay goes, it isn't used in our monthly evaluations we get from them every month.  

As a seller of many years here.  I think you, as a buyer, have gone above and beyond in trying to do the right thing.  Being very thoughtful as well as seeking other points of view.  Very FEW buyers would do that or would likely even think to do that.  So I personally find you VERY refreshing and an extremely considerate person.

I do not however agree with some of the others making excuses for this seller and I think now with the new emails you are getting just further proves that.  One message would likely have been fine, but three is likely too much.

Would you mind sharing with us what they are saying to you?

[gurlcat]

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@christworks wrote:

An update, after reading @gurlcat 's post, I did revise my feedback and removed any reference to the seller being sneaky.  I kept the rating as I think it is appropriate.  I then messaged the seller to let them know I revised my wording and why I kept the rating the same.  I explained to the seller that eBay had suggested I report them, but that I was not going to do that.  I asked the seller to please move past the neutral rating and use it to make them a better seller.  They appear to be quite successful, and I congratulated them on that. I've since had at least three messages from  the seller still pushing the issue.  The seller has now resorted to being manipulative, telling me basically how hard their life is, they were in the hospital sick for a while, etc.  They said they talked to eBay again and someone from eBay was going to contact me directly.  

Thanks again for the comments...

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Jeez.  So, they succeeded in avoiding a self-cancel strike, succeeded in avoiding a neg, you even gentled-down your neutral, and a neutral has zero calculable impact ..... by the way I've now seen their store and it looks like I was wrong about them being primarily a replenishable supplies seller; they sell mostly 1-off used items, so it's not even like a potential buyer is likely to take your feedback comment as a warning about them being out of stock ....... but they are STILL being sore ?!!!!    

You actually remind me of myself, how you need to look at things from multiple angles repeatedly before being satisfied with an approach, and how you reached out to let this person know where you stood in a friendly and respectful way, sounds like something I would do.  And as a seller, if this same thing had played out with a buyer like you I would have been so appreciative.  Now I feel a bit foolish for offering my previous opinion summary.  I think all the points I made are still valid on their own, but the sum of them doesn't include something you probably felt in your gut about this seller from the start.  It sounds like they are the kind of person who takes any sign of grace, sees it as weakness, and treats it as a chance to PUSH.  I have known people like that but never for long, because I won't tolerate that impulse whatsoever.  

Hey @wastedtime101 , if this member (the OP) wanted to stop receiving messages from another member, could they do so by adding their username to their BBL regardless of who was the buyer or seller in their previous transaction?  The OP was the buyer but also has a store, and used that account for this purchase that went sideways, and now the seller keeps writing trying to get them to remove their neutral feedback.

[dannydigital76]

Sounds like an honest person trying to make a living that didn't want to have to suffer for some policy. 

Why go further and even contemplate their punishment?

[brightlightbookseller]

This is an old thread and I'm sure long resolved.  The latest post was 7 months ago.

[monster-deals]

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@christworks wrote:

the seller called me on the telephone

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When should a seller call a buyer?

Never.

When should a buyer call a seller?

Never.

Keep it on ebay.

[mam98031]

Depends on the particulars of the transaction.  It certainly doesn't happen often, but over the many years I've been selling I've had maybe a handful of times I had the need to call the buyer.  It has always been fine.  It is all going to depend on what you have to say.  Be selective.  We do however get the phone numbers because there is a need to call sometimes.  Either the buyer to the seller or the seller to the buyer.