Vent, my first negative. What I learned

[lgonzalez28]

So maybe I am just venting because I am truly embarrassed for my error. 

I listed a bedskirt that I used on my Queen bed at some point in the past. Without thinking to measure (my first mistake) I listed it as queen sized.

About a week after delivery I notice my FB has a neg. and that I listed a king as a queen. 

Not hearing from my buyer, I felt horrible and apologized profusely, offered a return for full refund, offered a partial to keep. I take full responsibility for my mistake and as a buyer, I understand the frustration. The buyer is acting as though I am lying and deceitful purposefully. Prior to the accusations I may have just refunded fully, but this still wouldn't be enough 

She states she had it dry cleaned right after delivery costing $35 because "she trusted my size" without inspecting it. 

I take responsibility for my error, but I can't also take responsibility for extra costs that had nothing to do with my listing. This was sent clean and pressed, nor is she stating it required dry cleaning due to anything other than her preference to do so.

So I went from feeling really embarrassed and reaching out to do what I thought was the right thing, to feeling completely belittled.

Should I have left well enough alone? Or do you all offer to fix it if you acknowledge an error?

I may do things differently if that were to ever occur. AND ALSO MEASURE. These are my take-aways.

Thanks for letting me vent. 

[lgonzalez28]

Thank you, it was my error, I would not even ask to have it removed. It just is a bummer that's all. 🙂

[upgradedendmills]

When I make a mistake and find out from a buyer, I immediately refund in full without question. That normally clears the air and allows for better communication. The few times that I have lost an item and can't ship, I refund before my handling time expires and then either send a replacement part from my inventory or have one drop shipped from another seller. I do this because I feel that my customer is probably in the middle of a job and needs the tool they purchased to complete it. Creates trust and understanding and most of the time my customers actually refund the refund. It also makes me be more careful when listing.  

[vanman1029]

If the buyer left you a neg without first contacting you, c/s will remove the feedback.

[flo_mingo]

ARe you sure, I haven't had that experience. 

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@vanman1029 wrote:

If the buyer left you a neg without first contacting you, c/s will remove the feedback.

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[fern*wood]

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@vanman1029 wrote:

If the buyer left you a neg without first contacting you, c/s will remove the feedback.

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Where did you come up with that one?  I bet there would be a whole lot fewer negs out there if that was true.

[emerald_door]

You've done all you can, and your response to the feedback was excellent.  I wouldn't hesitate to buy from you.

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

There is no requirement for a buyer to contact seller before leaving a neg. that is not a valid reason to remove.

BTW great job to the OP for standing up and doing the right thing. The sellers who suggested they report the buyer to get the comment removed should perhaps realize that sellers like them are why buyers leave.

[lgonzalez28]

Thanks, Em

[luckythewinner]

You seem to be questioning my integrity, which is insulting.

No, I was simply disagreeing with you definition of "taking full responsibility".

The item was under $18, the buyer wanted $53 plus shipping.

The opinion I offered was that you should have refunded the full transaction on the spot. I never once suggested that you should give the buyer a penny more, let alone $53. 

[luckythewinner]

... and further: 

She provided measurements only after I offered her a refund

The buyer was not the first party in this transaction who failed to provide accurate measurements in a timely manner. 

[lgonzalez28]

Exactly.
I can't adjust my own error before I am even fully aware of it.
Do you take ever buyers word and just fully refund on the spot for everything they say?
If so, every buyer should buy from you and say whatever they want. If I had "known" I made a mistake, I WOULD NEVER HAVE SHIPPED IT OUT WITHOUT CONTACTING MY BUYER FIRST. I may be a small seller on eBay, but I am not a novice elsewhere. I made a human error. The end

[luckythewinner]

Do you take ever buyers word and just fully refund on the spot for everything they say?

I have already told you that is what I do. And I am not the only one on this thread who has said that is what they do. And yet you continue to question whether sellers would do this. 

If so, every buyer should buy from you and say whatever they want.

That's a pretty irresponsible sentiment coming from an eBay member who prides himself on responsibility.  Regardless, my intuition as well as my experience on eBay (fewer than 5 returns in the last 1000+ transactions) informs me that - thankfully - my buyers have not chosen the path that appears to have leapt so quickly to your mind. 

But in your buyer's case, it's a little unfair to suggest you would have been forced to simply believe "everything they say" in order to refund on the spot. You knew full well that you had sold the item without actually measuring it or verifying the size, so you already suspected there was at least a fair that chance the buyer was right. 

[judydu2]

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@vanman1029 wrote:

If the buyer left you a neg without first contacting you, c/s will remove the feedback.

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This is simply not true.

[city*satins]

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@lgonzalez28 wrote:
Exactly.
I can't adjust my own error before I am even fully aware of it.
Do you take ever buyers word and just fully refund on the spot for everything they say?
If so, every buyer should buy from you and say whatever they want. If I had "known" I made a mistake, I WOULD NEVER HAVE SHIPPED IT OUT WITHOUT CONTACTING MY BUYER FIRST. I may be a small seller on eBay, but I am not a novice elsewhere. I made a human error. The end

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Since ebay will likely take the buyer's word for it, I do too. 

The decision I make, when a problem is brought to my attention is which is most cost-effective:

1. Refund the buyer's original payment without requiring a return

2. Ask the buyer to return the item knowing that I'll be paying for return shipping and the purchase price and the original shipping charged if any

3. Ask the buyer if the item is salvageable and if so, what $ may I offer to make it better?

Usually I choose 2.

I choose 1 if I know that once returned, I can't recover my loss in a resale

I choose  3 in rare circumstances, depending on the item, its value/collectibility, and the buyer

[lgonzalez28]

Thank you for your concise response. This is exactly what I did.
Without question, I gave options 2 and 3. Had she declined, option 1 would have followed. What she said was none of those options were good unless I also added the $35 dry cleaning. All options are obviously still available to the buyer with the dry cleaning not even in the discussion. Can't make everyone happy by simply refunding.
I have learned a lot from this thread. I hope to not make silly errors going forward