Problems with a buyer

[cpht]

Hello everyone, I am a newish seller here and unfortunately I've already had an issue arise with a buyer.  It started out when she bought 3 of my items dirt cheap and then started complaining about the shipping cost.  I did the best I could on it and I refunded her some money.  Please understand I am selling vintage/antique dolls and I pack them extremely well so I tend to use oversize boxes hence the higher shipping cost.  I thought I was done with her after her first purchase, but unfortunately I had listed another doll and she wound up winning that one as well.  She immediately started complaining about the shipping cost and asking if I would refund her.  I did just to appease her.  I had the shipping at a set rate which was 30 dollars.  That is the average rate for antique dolls and I thought I was being fair.  I also have to factor in that I am supplying lots of bubble wrap and tape and that gets expensive quickly.  So after I refunded her she started inundating me with messages about was I going to be listing more, when, etc.  Now this is where I got really concerned, she then proceeded to message me and ask could she come in person to look at my dolls.  It is my understanding that would violate Ebay's policies.  Furthermore, I don't want to do my business that way.  I want to give everyone a fair chance to bid and buy and I feel she is trying to get the upper hand and not have to do it like everyone else has to do.  She is almost to the point of harassment/obsession.  She has discovered she only lives 2 hours away from me and it's like she thinks she's hit the jackpot and that I"m a big pushover.  I thought about blocking her from my auctions, but she will get a message when she tries to bid (and I know she will) that I'm not accepting bids from her.  The type of person she is I know she will make a huge deal about it and I don't want to lose my good standing on Ebay.  Not only do I sell, I purchase LOTS here and have for years.  Your experience and advice would be much appreciated and I apologize for the long post.  Thank you!

[hartungcards]

Block her and send her a message that you've moved to Oregon.  And your dolls got lost in the move.

[bonjourami]

Block her when her sixty days to leave feedback is up, does not affect your 

'good standing on Ebay'. Its one of the few protections sellers have left.

[chapeau-noir]

@cpht  I'm sorry you got a buyer like this - you're definitely not the first this has happened to! For future, cheapskate buyers who start begging for discounts and complaining about shipping need to be blocked - don't even do business with them - it never turns out well. If they start in after the sale, don't start giving in just to appease them. If they hassle you about shipping, more discounts, etc., simply tell them that you are unable to accommodate them and give them the option to cancel. Draw the line and stick to it because people like this are going to push you as far as you let them.

As for coming over to your house - no, they cannot, and that's a hard no with no explanation, no justification. "I'm sorry, but that's impossible" does pretty well. As for blocking, she cannot make you lose your good standing with eBay - even if she negs you and whines, you have the option of turning this up good by responding in a businesslike manner assuring your future buyers of your good customer service. But blocking is one of the few protections we have as sellers.

Good luck with this, and as my grandma used to tell me about people like this "Don't worry about 'em, they can't eat you."

ETA: Do not worry about her getting the message that she's blocked.

[12345jamesstamps]

I think your business plan...what is your business plan?

My business plan is "repeat buyers"....these buyers help you through slow periods when nothing is selling.

I would have given probably free shipping...since you have a buyer who is looking for more items to buy.

Key here is you sell basically the same items...as I sell mostly just stamps.

Plus, feedback can be important to some.

I would not block her. I would keep a very low profile on answering emails as well.

I had someone who wanted 50 % on a few items....I thought of blocking them...but responded to them not at this time...and mentioned maybe in a few weeks. Usually buyer disappears.

I never would block anyone who might be waiting to drop a feedback after getting blocked. 

[ryanrobyn]

She probably knows that all she needs to do is open another acct to buy your dolls so blocking doesn't work all the time

[murph1727]

I know that @12345jamesstamps suggested free shipping but I don't think they realized how expensive the shipping is so I would not recommend it. But a couple of things to consider-one is to use calculated shipping so that you don't lose money in case you under estimate the cost of shipping. It can be a little bit of a hassle with large items such as the dolls since you have to prepackage (to a certain extent) and then measure , weigh etc.  The other thing to consider is that you have "no returns" but with ebay's money-back-guarantee you might have to refund someday and be forced to accept a return. Sorry you have to deal with this pushy buyer.

[tobaccocardyahoo]

It is mighty tough to deal with buyers when your shipping charge exceeds the cost of the item by up to 4 times.

I am not questioning how you ship and how you pack or the accuracy of the charge. Your items seem to be prone to after the fact negotiation because of the high shipping charge.

Since free shipping is not practical due to the distance based costs, it requires some thought.

I am not sure that you are making the right decision by running auctions. I think you should experiment with fixed price listings if you have a real sense of the value of your dolls and perhaps that will lead to sales to buyers who share a sense of the value of what you are selling, and the cost of shipping it.

Many auction buyers are looking to pay a fraction of what an item is worth, and are similarly not willing to pay the real cost of shipping

[reallynicestamps]

Lowball buyers are more difficult than the highrollers.

Oh. And dolls. Always fraught.

20/20 hindsight but the best response could have been "I regret you are not happy with your purchases. Would you prefer to cancel the entire transaction without penalty?"

Actually it may not be too late to use that even now.

Best wishes.

[reallynicestamps]

You can also use Free Shipping to your advantage by putting the cost of shipping (or part of it) into the Fixed Price of the doll.

Which is cheapest?
 A $50 doll with $30 shipping?

An $80 doll with Free Shipping?

 An $95 doll with Free Shipping-- and room for Best Offers that allow you to look at your actual shipping cost.

A $75 doll with $15 shipping.

ETC.

[gurlcat]

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@12345jamesstamps wrote:

I think your business plan...what is your business plan?

My business plan is "repeat buyers"....these buyers help you through slow periods when nothing is selling.

I would have given probably free shipping...since you have a buyer who is looking for more items to buy.

Key here is you sell basically the same items...as I sell mostly just stamps.

Plus, feedback can be important to some.

I would not block her. I would keep a very low profile on answering emails as well.

I had someone who wanted 50 % on a few items....I thought of blocking them...but responded to them not at this time...and mentioned maybe in a few weeks. Usually buyer disappears.

I never would block anyone who might be waiting to drop a feedback after getting blocked. 

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I WOULD agree with you on all this, but there's a big difference between someone writing to ask if you'lll work with them on a Fixed Price item ..... versus someone who bid and won numerous auctions before trying to work with you.  Being the auction winner, she basically has her boot on the seller's neck.  
NOT.  COOL.  And not the kind of repeat buyer I would want.  

[chapeau-noir]

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@12345jamesstamps wrote:

I think your business plan...what is your business plan?

My business plan is "repeat buyers"....these buyers help you through slow periods when nothing is selling.

I would have given probably free shipping...since you have a buyer who is looking for more items to buy.

Key here is you sell basically the same items...as I sell mostly just stamps.

Plus, feedback can be important to some.

I would not block her. I would keep a very low profile on answering emails as well.

I had someone who wanted 50 % on a few items....I thought of blocking them...but responded to them not at this time...and mentioned maybe in a few weeks. Usually buyer disappears.

I never would block anyone who might be waiting to drop a feedback after getting blocked. 

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I typically have quite a few repeat buyers, but the OP's buyer is someone I would not want coming back.

Not all sales, not all buyers, are worth 'keeping'.

ETA: And I definitely would not worry about blocking this person over feedback - that's simply giving them control over you.

[gurlcat]

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@chapeau-noir wrote:

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ETA: And I definitely would not worry about blocking this person over feedback - that's simply giving them control over you.

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I hate to think of that riding their decisions too.  But man what a bind to be in -they have only 50 feedbacks for the year, and this buyer purchased 4 items.  So if they negged on all of them, it would devastate the  score.  
Wait, am I misremembering, or does eBay have a way to thwart a 1-buyer neg bomb like that?  Seems like I heard of them having a limit of some sort.  

[chapeau-noir]

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@gurlcat wrote:

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@chapeau-noir wrote:

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ETA: And I definitely would not worry about blocking this person over feedback - that's simply giving them control over you.

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I hate to think of that riding their decisions too.  But man what a bind to be in -they have only 50 feedbacks for the year, and this buyer purchased 4 items.  So if they negged on all of them, it would devastate the  score.  
Wait, am I misremembering, or does eBay have a way to thwart a 1-buyer neg bomb like that?  Seems like I heard of them having a limit of some sort.  

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In the OP's case it's a very tough decision, but I think their buyer can just keep yo-yoing them with threats is the problem - there's something extremely manipulative about the way they're acting. It's why I pull the plug on this stuff quickly, but I have a lot of experience at this and can tell; the OP is a new seller and how would they know? It really stinks for them.

I don't think there's a limit on feedback - there may be a limit on leaving it all at once (i.e., it has to be staggered) but I can't find the policy.

[adamcartwright]

For the future, I would use a PO Box as my ship from and returns address. You don't need these nut cases knowing your home address.