How to Cancel the Order after Accepting an Offer

[streetinventor]

Hi, is there an option to cancel the accepted offer without worrying about ebay rating and/or the buyer negative feedback?

I sell mostly small items (a few dollars each) and dealling with bad buyers is major hassle, time sink, and nuisance. I just want to cancel the order and move on. 99% of the buyers have been very nice but a few have been a problem.

Yesterday, I got an offer (with the same price as Buy It Now) with the request for "exp shipping". The item was to be shipping via First Class Package. I replied with a counteroffer (1 cent higher than the offer) clearling indicating that Priority Mail was out of the question. (At the time, I wasn't really sure what he meant by "exp shipping" but I just presumed it was expedited shipping.) I got another offer with the same offer price with a message including phrases like "I also sell on ebay" and "just add padded envelope + 3" in a rather aggressive tone. (btw, how do I go back and see what exact messages were exchanged via offers/counteroffers?) This message did not include anything about "exp shipping". At this point, (since I clearly indicated I wouldn't do Priority Mail) I misunderstood what he meant, and I just accepted the offer.

In a way, I made a mistake. I should never have accepted the offer without fully understanding his intention. (My shipping price was set to $3.32 and I thought his "3" referred to the fact that the First Class Package starts from $3.00 and I thought he was arguing that my shipping cost was too high.) Besides, his abrasive tone clearly showed he would not be a nice person to do business with.

The item was sold, and an hour passed by. He didn't pay. Considering the fact that he wanted "exp shipping" in the first place (which again could have meant "expedited shipping" in MY mind) I thought it was odd. I sent him a message. If I misunderstood your offer, and if you want to cancel the order, please let me know. No reply. Last night, I sent him an invoice (with the shipping cost set to $3) and again suggested if he wanted to cancel, or adjust, the order in some way, please let me know (clearly indicating I'm flexible). No response. No pay.

I tend to send a lot of messages to the buyers (at least one or two each) just to thank them and/or keep them updated on the shipping status, etc. Not everybody replies. That's fine. But, when I ask a specific question, and they don't reply, I consider them "not nice". There were a few cases so far, the buyers did not reply after repeated questions (3 or 4 times), and I considered them "hostile" because they were deliberately wasting my time.

Considering what happened during negotation yesterday and his refusal to reply to me (if he didn't get what he wated, we can just cancel the order or at least he can explain what he wants to me and we can discuss), I consider him very hostile. I do NOT want to go ahead with this transaction.

Unfortunately, there appears no option to cancel the order. I cannot cancel the order saying the buyer wanted to cancel because that would be a lie. I cannot provide any other reason like the item is broken, etc., since that would be a lie as well. Besides, my understanding is that if a seller cancels the order, the buyer can leave a negative feedback. I don't want to give this person a pleasure of giving me a negative feedback. ABSOLUTELY NOT!

In many ways, in hindsight, he never wanted to buy the item any way. (It was the first time for me for a buyer _insisting_ on a particular shipping method _in the offer_.) At this point, it is safe to assume that, he has no intention of continuing with this transaction, and he never did. I do not want to deal with Unpaid Item Case or worry about his retaliatory feedback later. I do not want to deal with this person. Period. I just want to cancel the order and move on.

Would that be possible? Is there a way out for not-so-smart people like me?

[dhbookds]

You can't cancel, but if he doesn't pay, file an Unpaid Item dispute.

[streetinventor]

Thanks, but if I open Unpaid Item case, and then/or if he ends up paying, he can leave a negative feedback. Is that right? I don't want to sound paranoid, but based on the short encounter with him (via computers) I am fairly certain that he will definitely try to retaliate (for not getting what he wanted == "exp shipping"). Is there a way to prevent that? Thanks.

[emerald40]

---

@streetinventor wrote:
Thanks, but if I open Unpaid Item case, and then/or if he ends up paying, he can leave a negative feedback. Is that right? I don't want to sound paranoid, but based on the short encounter with him (via computers) I am fairly certain that he will definitely try to retaliate (for not getting what he wanted == "exp shipping"). Is there a way to prevent that? Thanks.

---

The only way you can cancel now is to get the buyer to agree to it or if there was a problem with the address.

Anything else will result in a defect for you, something that can greatly harm your account.

Keep all ebay email from him where he expresess unsatifsfaction about the shipping method.

If he does buy and then neg you you can upload it to ebay and ask that it be removed based on him asking for something not offered in the listing.

Just hope he does not pay.  In 2 days file non pay, close after 4.  Then block him.

[odditiesandantiquities1]

---

@streetinventor wrote:
Thanks, but if I open Unpaid Item case, and then/or if he ends up paying, he can leave a negative feedback. Is that right? I don't want to sound paranoid, but based on the short encounter with him (via computers) I am fairly certain that he will definitely try to retaliate (for not getting what he wanted == "exp shipping"). Is there a way to prevent that? Thanks.

---

Keep in mind that feedback is not counted in your eBay ratings. While negative feedback is a nuisance, I would follow the advise of open and unpaid item if he doesn't pay.  Also, I wouldn't send anymore emails whatsoever. 

All the best,

[jonathankirkland]

An unpaid item dispute is the appropriate course of action if he does not cooperate with cancelling the order or respond any other way.

This way when he declines to buy, it will leave HIM with the defect for not paying for what he agreed to pay for. I don't think buyers can leave feedback after an unpaid item dispute has resolved. But even if they can you can certainly have it removed.

Another thing to consider is you may not want to be so aggressive with your messages to your buyers. It really isn't necessary to contact them so much in most cases and this could be considered harassment, which could indeed annoy people enough to leave you negative feedback.

Sending one message thanking them for their purchase and providing them with shipping information is more than sufficient.

[dtexley3]

As the other poster stated, the buyer is specifically not allowed to request a different shipping method as part of a best offer.  so keep the correspondence to show eBay.

You will have to go ahead and ship the item once (if) they pay or your account will receive a defect.  3 such defects in a year will put most seller accounts at risk of being below standard.

Open the UPI as soon as you can (48 hours after B/O was accepted)  and close it as soon as you can (97 hours after opening) if they don't payl.

[streetinventor]

Thanks very much all for good advices. It seems like there is not much I can do at this point other than just wait and see. I'll do that.

I have a few followup questions, if I may:

> Just hope he does not pay. In 2 days file non pay, close after 4. _Then_ block him.

I already blocked him, in the middle of an onging transaction, so to speak. Will that be a problem?

> Another thing to consider is you may not want to be so aggressive with your messages to your buyers.

I am generally very flexible. I agree to whatever the buyer wants. If they want to cancel the orders even after I have already spent time preparing the item (some require hours of work) and ready for shipping, I let them. One thing I cannot deal with though is no reponse. There are situations where I, as a seller, cannot make a decision. It's up to the buyer. I need his/her permission/approval before I can continue. And, some people do not repond to my questions, for days. What should I do then? At the end of the day, it's my responsibility to ship the promised item in time, and if I delay (waiting for the buyer's answer), it'll be my fault. Isn't that right?

> 3 such defects in a year will put most seller accounts at risk of being below standard.

As a (relatively) new seller, I tend to focus on the buyers' feedback (simply because it's in your face).  One time, I had a claim "item different from as described" which I considered fraudulent. And, after exchanging a few messages, he actually agreed to close the case. And yet, with the fear of negative feedback afterwards, I provided a partial refund. (I told him, it was "a good will gesture".) Now, I have one return item on my record. Was it not a good decision to provide a partial refund?

Thanks!

[luckythewinner]

---

@streetinventor wrote:

I am generally very flexible. I agree to whatever the buyer wants. 

---

Whatever they want unless they want expedited shipping.  Sorry, couldn't resist 🙂 

But seriously, I see two things you could probably learn from. 

1) First you assumed that 'exp shipping' meant expedited shipping, and then you assumed that meant Priority Mail and then told him priority mail was out of the question. What if he meant Express Mail and assumes your ambiguous response  means that everything except priority mail is okay? 

A better response would have been to reiterate that you will only ship by first class mail and not mention any other services. 

2) You accepted an offer without being sure exactly what he wanted or expected.  

[streetinventor]

Yes, I absolutely agree that I made a mistake. I should have asked what he meant by "exp shipping" first and should have gone from there. In my defense, I had never been in this situation before (most people simply negotiate on price), and I didn't know what was happening. (Hindsight is always 20-20.)

As indicated before, I feel stupid. The reason why I feel stupid is I had a hunch from the very beginning that he was not a good person to deal with. Not because he asked for expedited shipping (as alluded by your joke :)) but because his request was very ambiguous. Almost deliberately ambiguous. I immediately realized that. Even his second offer message was very hard for me to understand ( e.g., "3", not even a dollar sign). And yet, I accepted the offer. You don't need to tell me how dumb that was. 🙂 But, again in my defense, not every buyer uses succinct, perfect English. I try to give the benefit of the doubt. And, his offer price was the same as Buy It Now. I did not think the message was important. In fact, I almost accepted his first offer right away (as it turned out, he actually had another offer before this, which I didn't even see at the time, presumably because he retracted it?). Then, I thought I needed to at least reply. Then, his second offer/message did not directly say anything about "exp shipping". (in the context, he was possibly still insisting on exp shipping, in hindsight, but I didn't know that at the time and I had no way to suspect that since I already had given my answer in response to the first offer/message.)

Some people/buyers ask me about shipping for different items I sell. But they do that via messages/questions before placing an order. It was the first time I got it as a "condition" of an offer. Whether that was allowed on ebay or not, I immidately saw that as a red sign. Because if I simply did not see his message (often I don't since most offers do not include any messages at all) I would have just accepted the offer and I would have ended up with $3~4 deficit.

The reason why I felt I needed to ask this question on this forum was because, in hindsight, he did what he did very deliberately (like a trap). and I felt like I was partially caught. There seems to be no easy way out though.... Thanks!

[tellmemama]

All I see are used CDs and DVDs which you have sold with a best offer.  What kind of buyer would need THOSE sent "Express" mail??  As mentioned upthread, don't engage the buyer any further and save his messages demanding something not in the listing (exp shipping).  Shipping is non-negotiable in a best offer by the way.

Open the UPI as soon as you can and close it as soon as you can.  Due to the low price, you can bet the buyer will likely pay so that opens another can of worms.  He can claim SNAD and you'll be paying the return shipping too.  And he can neg you for your trouble.

But his shipping demands may remove that neg if you get a good CSR.

[myboardid]

You need to:

Stop assuming anything about your buyer.  You have no idea what he may be thinking.  Hunches based on NO facts just get you into trouble.  Just wait for him to pay, do NOT communicate with him further.

If he doesn't pay, you don't have any choice about going through the UPI process unless you are willing to give up your Final Value Fee on the listing.  That is part of what you signed up for when you decided to sell.  Not wanting to deal with it isn't an option. 

Don't beat yourself up, you are not stupid, everyone makes a mistake from time to time.  But you do need to stand up and follow through,  depending on what happens next. 

Give yourself a hug, I'm sending you one! 

[streetinventor]

Thanks. Yes, I do agree.

> Due to the low price, you can bet the buyer will likely pay so that opens another can of worms.  He can claim SNAD and you'll be paying the return shipping too.  And he can neg you for your trouble.

That is exactly what I'm afraid of. As you say, nothing I sell requires express shipping or expedited shipping. The particular item in question was a CD. So, in many ways, this incident was pretty bizarre to me. That's why I feel like he was playing games from the very beginning.

> If he doesn't pay, you don't have any choice about going through the UPI process unless you are willing to give up your Final Value Fee on the listing.

So, can I just leave it alone? I don't mind losing the Final Value Fee. Does the contract "expire" at some point? How long does the buyer have to pay for the item if I don't open an Unpaid Item case?

> Don't beat yourself up, you are not stupid, everyone makes a mistake from time to time.  But you do need to stand up and follow through,  depending on what happens next.

Thanks for the advice and for the hug. 🙂 If you really think about it, nothing really happened. Yet. As you say, I'm probably "presuming" too much. As advised (thanks all!!!), I'll wait and see what happens next.

Thanks!

[coolections]

---

@streetinventor wrote:

I just want to cancel the order and move on. Yesterday, I got an offer with the request for "exp shipping". The item was to be shipping via First Class Package. I replied with a counteroffer (1 cent higher than the offer).

---

You got yourself into a predicament. Why would yo do that ? You cannot accept an offer then just cancel a sale at your whim without consequences.