Forwarding abusive messages to eBay admin

[jennifrance]

For 21 years I have had nothing less than 100% positive feedback but I recently sold a used iPod which had belonged to my late husband.  Cosmetically it looked in good condition apart from usual slight dings  from being in a car iPod dock.  I thought I had reset it back to factory settings but for some reason, although it appeared to have reset, it hadn't deleted off all the content.  I packaged it carefully, included a brand new leather case and sent it 1st class Tracked.  The buyer got back to me after receiving it claiming that it had a gap between the front and the rear of the iPod and sent me photos to show this.  I am fairly certain it was not like this when it was sent but can't prove it.  He also found that the hard drive had not completely cleared.  I have since cleared it using iTunes - not a difficult job even though I know very little about iPods.  I sent him my response which asked if someone else could have had access to it as it had been inspected when I sent it off and it appeared to be in good condition cosmetically.  However, I did say that as he wasn't satisfied I was happy to refund his money if he returned it to me.  In response, he sent me the most abusive and vitriolic response claiming I was trying to scam him, that I was playing games with him, that I had sold him the item under false pretences, etc - really nasty.  He has repeated these allegations on feedback which has reduced my feedback to 80% which has devastated me.  I don't sell much on eBay but if someone were to complain, I would immediately offer a refund for the return of the item.  This was his response to me offering him a refund

"Hi, nobody my end had access to the iPod. I find this insiniuation quite distasteful and a really disingenuous attempt to deflect responsibility. How dare you. Why would anyone want to prise the rear off anyway. Next you'll be blaming the courier. The box was not damaged either so good luck with that. And to send a copy to eBay to prove that you are not lying is again a disingenuous at best and sly at worst attempt to play the victim. What is clear is that you missed this or overlooked it. Don't play me for a fool. I'm too long in the tooth and can see through your games. The serial number on the rear does not match the serial number on the iPod itself. It has been replaced...badly. Disingenuously you took photos to hide the damage. Also you claim to have factory reset it, there are still 373 songs still on it, how is that factory reset? You claim to have done it twice, another fabrication, the hard drive is corrupt. You have tried to sell a non-working badly refurbished iPod for the maximum you thought you could get away. You will not be getting away with this."

What I want to know is how I report this to eBay admin - I know I can block him but want to have the unfair feedback removed.  The gap he photographed was easily remedied by simply clicking the front and rear together and this is now firmly in place.  A factory reset was carried out using iTunes and there is now 74gb available.  Wasn't a difficult job - even for ignorant me.  I know I can block him but he has affected my feedback so badly that I want to contest it.  So both his claims are untrue.  Any help would be gladly received as this has really upset me badly.  I am 71 and have never knowingly sold anything on eBay that was faulty or not as I have described.

[mam98031]

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@jennifrance wrote:

Thanks - that makes a lot of sense.  Do you know how to respond to his feedback as I can't find a way of doing it - told you I wasn't tech savvy.

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@jennifrance 

I addressed this in my post just above your post.

I would NOT suggest you respond to it unless you can do it in a polite and professional manner.  No finger pointing, no name calling, nothing hostile.  Otherwise you will be doing more damage to your feedback that what the buyer wrote.  Don't do harm to yourself just because you don't believe this guy or are upset with how they have treated you.  I know it can be hard.

I would however advise you go to the buyer's feedback page.  View their feedback Left For Others.  Do you see the buyer doing this a lot or on other sellers?  If you do, that could be a reason to have yours removed, but the reason would be Feedback Abuse and that is what you would tell Ebay.  Plus bring to Ebay's attention the emails they sent you and your responses.

[moretreasures4you]

Before you respond, you should see if you can get eBay to remove the feedback. Especially since you offered a refund that he denied. It might happen, but you have to try. Once they say no, then you can reply to his feedback saying that you had offered him a full refund if he would send it back. 

If you don't know how to get the feedback removed, let me know.

[chapeau-noir]

@jennifrance  I'd first try to get it removed, though I don't think it qualifies. A response I would use is something like "I stand behind everything I sell, and offered a full refund on return of the iPod."  And just leave it at that. Best to keep it simple, make no assumptions on buyer behaviour (he sounds like a real whiner - probably has meltdowns if his toast is burnt) - just your integrity and solution.

How to respond to feedback:  https://www.ebay.co.uk/help/selling/leaving-feedback-buyers/viewing-responding-feedback-buyers?id=41...

[robbie31415]

I think it's dumb to ever tell a buyer you are reporting them.

Reports should be silent, seems you threatened them with reports before they left feedback.

Best thing you can do if a buyer reports a problem is to say 'I'm sorry you are unhappy with it. I'll be glad to take it back'.

I mean that's a smallish item, return shipping isn't going to be crazy expensive.

But their negative feedback shows to me that you were confrontational, which is a bad move and a good way to get yourself negative feedback.

[mam98031]

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@chapeau-noir wrote:

@jennifrance  I'd first try to get it removed, though I don't think it qualifies. A response I would use is something like "I stand behind everything I sell, and offered a full refund on return of the iPod."  And just leave it at that. Best to keep it simple, make no assumptions on buyer behaviour (he sounds like a real whiner - probably has meltdowns if his toast is burnt) - just your integrity and solution.

How to respond to feedback:  https://www.ebay.co.uk/help/selling/leaving-feedback-buyers/viewing-responding-feedback-buyers?id=41...

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I really like your suggestion on a response.  I would just add a few more words.

I stand behind everything I sell, and offered a full refund on return of the iPod, Buyer Declined.

[powell-collectibles]

I find nothing abusive about the buyers message. I think you are taking this all to personally – mistakes are made, maybe you made one or two. Maybe you didn’t – who knows? You don’t seem terribly confident in what you sent.

[chapeau-noir]

Sorry, but that sounds like the sanewashing that has been going around. The buyer went right out of the box with accusations and sounded so absurd it was almost funny - fulminating about his little iPod and trying to be eloquent with all the sputtering, drawing strange conclusions and in general being a big baby.

Draw the line.

[robbie31415]

Difference between a buyer being an annoying cry baby, to them being abusive.

I've had many that are like this.

However, I don't see the actual ABUSIVE part of it.

Wanting to run to the admins about abusive behavior, you better be showing real threats, or something that's over the top.

Otherwise it should just be a block and move on.

[youn2240]

if the buyer isn't sending a refund/ return request it's a non issue and just a goofy customer. If the customer is asking for a return he is probably scamming you and ebay will side with the buyer he's already saying the seruial numbers are different so hes probably going to ship you a different ipod back. basically there is nothing you can do about it. paying for items here is a mere suggestion and scammers get multiple scams before they get kicked. 

[chapeau-noir]

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@robbie31415 wrote:

Difference between a buyer being an annoying cry baby, to them being abusive.

I've had many that are like this.

However, I don't see the actual ABUSIVE part of it.

Wanting to run to the admins about abusive behavior, you better be showing real threats, or something that's over the top.

Otherwise it should just be a block and move on.

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I actually think his behaviour was immature to the point of humour. The OP did not.

You're deciding what somebody else should be thinking? Not your remit.

[jennifrance]

Thanks for you response - I am trying to keep a reasonable view on this.  I think I was more shocked at the vitriol as I have never had a buyer respond in this way in all the 21 years I have been on eBay.  The damage to the iPod was definitely not there when it was packaged and posted, he claimed it arrived like that.  I only asked him if possibly someone else could have had access to the iPod - so not blaming him for it.  It was really only when I read the last sentence 'You will not get away with this' that I felt unsettled and slightly threatened.  But you have to bear in mind that I am a 71 year old female (reasonably intelligent and still working full time for the NHS) and have never had this reaction from a buyer before.  My immediate response to his complaint was to apologise, to explain that that we had not been aware of the damage and offer him a refund on return of the iPod.  The above was his response to that offer - which was out of order.

[jennifrance]

Thanks for the advice on not accepting returns - I think this is an automatic thing when you list something - I will certainly look out for it if I post anything else and change it for anything that I think might be problematic or which I haven't been able to test myself.

[jennifrance]

Thanks for the good advise - I have never had a response like this in the 21 years of being on eBay.  It shook me up quite a bit.  My first response was to apologise but to explain that the damage had not been  visible when the item was inspected before packing but that if he returned it I would authorise a refund for him.  This was done but then I got that response from him and he posted a nasty review on eBay which has dropped my rating from my normal 100% to 80% which obviously damages my prospect of selling other stuff - not that I post much.

[jennifrance]

Thanks - I never said I would report him, I simply said that I would authorise a refund for him if he could return the item and apologised for the inconvenience - though I did point out that I wouldn't have sent the iPod if the damage had been visible when I inspected it.  He did return the iPod and he did get a refund but then sent that response and posted very negative feedback.

[jennifrance]

Thanks for your response and you make some good points.  However, the iPod was inspected by myself and my son before it was posted to the buyer and there was no damage apparent - especially in the place he showed in his photo - top right corner.  When it was returned, it had either scrape marks or pry marks on the corner which weren't there when it was sent and you could not miss the gap as it was so apparent and would have been seen on our inspections.  I have never accused him of damaging it.  The reset did appear to have done a factory reset but when it came back there were still some music tracks and audiobooks on it - I have no idea why it deleted some things and not others.  However, this took me less than 20 seconds to clear completely so not really a problem.  As the buyer sells many items like this on eBay, I was surprised that he hadn't done this himself but hey ho, there is no accounting for people.  My first response to his complaint was to apologise, ask him to return the item and I would issue a refund for him and send him a free postage label.  He did return it and I did authorise a refund for him.  However, his response was to post the above and to leave very negative and perjorative feedback on eBay which has reduced my feedback from my normal 100% to 80%.