One nice thing about retirement is you can get out of bed any time of the day you like......
And once you get up you can take the rest of the day off.
I like to make things and give them to my children.
I'm getting even for all those ashtrays they made for me in shop in school.
Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they are bored.
A retiree's biggest fib:
Hold on and I'll check my schedule.
I enjoy retirement.
I was pretty doggone good at my work,
But I'm no slouch at doing nothing either.
I keep busy in my retirement......
Struggling with the dog for the best spot on the sofa.
The best part of doing nothing in my retirement is that there is absolutely no way of doing it wrong.
Every morning my wife asks me;
"What are you going to do today?"
And then we both laugh......
My wife has been looking into ideas that would get me out of the house more often.......
She finally decided on a court order.
I don't know why I have become a cantankerous, old retiree.
Before I was just a cantankerous, old working stiff.
According to my spouse,
Retirement means going from overworked to underfoot.
On the day of my retirement I told my wife I was home for good.
She said, You're home. The good part remains to be seen,
Before retirement I used to come home and ask; "What's for dinner?"
Now I stay home and ask; "What's for breakfast?; What's for lunch? ; What's for dinner?"
The answer is not printable.......
Some restaurants have reduced prices for retirees.
I don't know why. I enjoy eating just as much now as when I was working.
It's official now. I'm really retired.
My wife turned my briefcase into a planter.
My wife and I took up golf so we would have something to do together, but it didn't work out.
She slices and I hook.
