How to ELIMINATE CLUTTER from your life forever!

[dr.declutter]

Hi everyone. I figured there had to be others out there in the millions of eBayers who want to eliminate clutter. So I decided to create a discussion thread and a "ME" page all about clutter and how to get rid of it and how to keep it out of our lives forever.

Personally I know my clutter problem took years to accumulate, and will take some time and effort to make things "normal" again. But I'm ready to dedicate myself to the effort. I'd like to discuss the tips and strategies necessary not just to eliminate clutter but to become the kind of person who does not ACCUMULATE CLUTTER in the first place! If you are interesting in creating a clutter-free life then let's talk!

[dr.declutter]

I just got done reading this excellent article on addiction to clutter. If clutter is a problem for you, as it is for me, you won't want to miss this article.

http://www.thefrugallife.com/clutteraddiction.html

Just don't print it out and save it!

The text from the article appears below...

Addiction to Clutter
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Clutter is a big problem for many people. At a lecture that I gave, I asked for a show of hands regarding how many people had problems with clutter and disorganization. I was surprised to find that at least half the people raised their hands.

One of my clients told me that she was trying to help her sister get back on her feet after her sister had been laid up with an illness and lost her job. Her sister’s house had always been a mess, and had become so filled with clutter that there was no place to walk or sit. My client, Rebecca, offered to buy her sister a car if she would clean up her house. Rebecca even offered to help her sister clean up the house. Rebecca was shocked when her sister refused the offer, even though she desperately needed the car. He sister was unwilling to get rid of the clutter.

Why? Why was the “stuff” so important to her?

Underneath all addictions lies fear - of emptiness, helplessness, loneliness and aloneness. Addictions are a way to feel safe from feeling these difficult and painful feelings, and an addiction to clutter is no exception. It’s all about having a sense of control over feeling safe. Clutter, like all addictions, provides a momentary feeling of comfort. However, as with any addiction, the clutterer needs more and more clutter to maintain the illusion of safety and comfort.

When my mother died and my son was cleaning out her house, he discovered huge amounts of clutter. While my mother’s house always looked neat and clean, the cupboards and drawers were filled with clutter. My son told me he found 6 broken hair dryers in one cabinet. Why would my mother want to keep six broken hair dryers?

My mother grew up during the depression and always had a fear of not having enough. No matter how much she accumulated materially, she never felt that she had enough. The six hair dryers made her feel safe from her fear, even if they didn’t work.

Carrie has trouble throwing things away, especially magazines with “important’ information in them. She subscribes to many magazines but, being the mother of three small children, doesn’t often have the time to read them. So the magazines pile up and pile up. Carrie hopes at some point to have the time to read them, but that time never seems to come. When asked why she won’t throw them out, her answer is, “Because there might be something important in them and I don’t want to miss it.” Carrie fears missing out on some important piece of information – information that may give her the peace she is seeking. It makes her feel safer and in control to have all the magazines around her with their important information, even if she never gets to read them.

When we don’t feel safe on the inner level, then we try to make ourselves feel safe on the outer level, and clutter is one way of doing that. Whether it’s things, such as hair dryers, or information, such as in magazines and newspapers, clutterers do not trust that they will have what they need. In addition, clutterers may be resistant people who see messiness and clutter as a way of not being controlled by someone who wants them to be neat.

Healing the Addiction to Clutter
Clutter is created and maintained by a wounded, frightened part of oneself, the wounded self – the part that operates from the illusion of having control over people, events, and outcomes. As long as this wounded self is in charge of the decisions, the clutterer will continue to accumulate clutter as a way to provide comfort and the illusion of control over feeling safe, or continue to be messy as a way to resist being controlled.

Healing occurs when the individual does the inner work necessary to develop a strong, loving adult self. A loving adult is the aspect of us that opens to and connects with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, and love. A loving adult is capable of taking loving action in our own behalf. The loving adult operates from truth rather than from the false beliefs of the wounded self, and knows that the comfort and safety that clutter seems to provide is an illusion – that no matter how much clutter accumulates, the clutterer still feels afraid. The loving adult knows that safety and integrity do not lie in resistance. Only a loving adult who is tuned in to the guidance provided by a spiritual source and capable of taking loving action in one’s own behalf can create a sense of inner safety.

Practicing the six steps of Inner Bonding that we teach develops this powerful loving adult.

About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process.

[silverteem]

dr.declutter,

Being in the antique/collectible business, I find that clutter is usually a given.

One person who has a five car garage said, "His car never saw the inside of it."

Our homes and garages become a warehouse of merchandise.

My husband and I were both clutterbugs before we even started selling. After we started going to yard sales, estate sales, thrift stores, we even had a greater problem.

The market has changed, so some of the things that use to sell, now sit around.

We have made some progress in weeding out the non-sellers. Of course, there is more to do.

In a way, I think being in the business has helped. You know what items are really valuable and what are not.

[dr.declutter]

Hi Silverteem!

Thanks for your thoughts. I had a dear Aunt that was an (part-time) antiques dealer. It would be fun sometime to ask you about a few of her antiques that I now own.

I am such a pack rat that getting into antiques would make it even worse for me. So for now I'm focussing on eliminating most of my possessions.

The approach I'm taking is to pretend that I'm having my own estate sale. I'll be keeping ONLY the things needed to run the household and for my career so a lot has to go. This weekend I'll be starting, God willing, to begin a donation pile for our local charity. I just keep telling myself there must be someone out there who can use my stuff more than me. And after all, on the day I die even my most precious possessions will be of no value to me. So I'm working on detaching myself from the entire idea of "precious possessions" now, while hopefully I still have many years left on earth.

[dr.declutter]

Here is a great article on reasons to eliminate clutter. It is by Don Aslett, probably America's best author on clutter. I think Don's books are a great inspiration for anyone who really wants to get out of the the clutter habit.

Are you buried in junk?

There's a reason we quit using something: It's outdated, broken, unsafe, unattractive or inoperable. All of these reasons simply mean we just don't need it anymore-except, of course, for the fact that we feel obligated to keep it. We hold on to useless objects when we only shuffle them from house to house, constantly climb over them, and even spend time and money maintaining and storing them.
Junk (that stuff we quit using) is a burden that accumulates in direct proportion to the storage space available for it. Once discarded though, it not only frees up time and space, it frees you from keeping mental tabs on it. We all do it-we keep a mental note of our tucked away treasures, reminding ourselves of our obligation to use that special something, someday, simply to justify keeping it around. To give ourselves back that time, space, and energy, all we have to do is learn the fine art of treasure sorting-differentiating between valuable and useless things and promptly disposing of the latter.

What a mighty grip junk can have on us! We keep stacks of magazines that are 70 percent ads when there might be only one article of personal importance in each. When you read a magazine, remove the valuable articles and throw the rest out. You'll prefer a thin file of articles to the outdated piles of glossy ads. We keep an old leaky faucets, hinges, even lawnmowers, all just for the spare washer, screw or wheel that we just might need someday. The average American moves 14 times in a lifetime. If a third of your stuff is clutter, you could save the cost of eight moving van loads if you just de-junked! Remove that washer or screw in two minutes and throw the rest out. You'll save hours and dollars instead of spending years dodging that old thing or mov-ing it from place to place.

What's our biggest problem when it comes to de-junking? Indecision.

Don't let the possibility of 'maybe I'll use it" get you buried in a houseful of clutter. The number one secret to proper junk disposal is to make the decision at the time you're about to put something away. Once you've stored something, sentimental attachment and mental obligation to use it begin to mount (not to mention encounters that involve dusting it, moving it, or climbing over if!). And you'll never have time to go back through all that stored stuff and decide again.

Truth is, keeping stuff comes with a price-anything that's anywhere does. The costs are clever ones, too. Like a little bit of space and rent, a little bit of energy (heat and lights), a little bit of accident and fire potential, a little bit of insurance, and a little bit of your emotions. All of these little costs add up to a big price tag.

We all know folks who have several freezers though they live only a mile from three grocery stores. They save ten cents a pound on meat bought in bulk, so they buy it and store it and keep it forever. One woman was very proud of the three dollars "cold cash" she saved this way, until she found out it cost $40 a month to run the freezers.
Some folks even pay room and board for their junk, in the form of storage units. Often, though, the cost to store an article is far higher than the cost of replacing it; it's not uncommon for someone to pay $300 a year to store $200 worth of stuff.

But these things are valuable, you say? Consider the value of time spent storing, cleaning, and transporting it all. And what about the costs of insuring and protecting it? "Afford" is not simply a question of money. What is the effect on your job, your marriage, your physical being, and your peace of mind? You can't really afford junk.

Freeing yourself from junk will also free you from a great deal of housework, since a cluttered house takes more time and effort to clean. And, if junk is taking up your storage space, it means you have to reach far-ther and dig deeper to get the tool, book, suitcase, shirt, etc., that you really need. Often "getting something out," or finding the one thing you're looking for, becomes a 20-minute search and rescue mission, instead of a few-second job. If you just de-junk your home, the time and energy left over in the course of a year will be enough to complete the three credit hours in that night class you've always wanted to take.

If you're buried in clutter, junk's not just a burden; it can also be a barrier. You can't get on with the future, get a new wardrobe, or maybe even get to your spouse for all the out-dated, inoperable, unsafe, and unattractive stuff! Start de-junking, and the best place to start is with yourself - your pockets, purse, desk, and countertops - and don't stop there! Isn't your time and freedom more important than the hours spent shuffling and stepping around the clutter in your home? Isn't your peace of mind more important than the mental energy you spend keeping track of it all?

Remember: Everything has a cost to acquire and to maintain.

Just eliminate junk. It's one of the easiest ways to get the drudgery out of housework- if you don't keep it, you don't have to clean it, store it, or worry about it.

http://www.cleanreport.com/new_articles_text.cfm?item=Are%20you%20buried%20in%20junk%3F

[dr.declutter]

Here's my update: One load of junk hauled to the dump and one box of goodies for the local charity. That was yesterday. Today I'm starting a load of stuff for the charity in the garage. The basement is already looking better! Cheers 🙂

[wildpaintponies]

Good going Dr. declutter and great idea for a discussion thread! Thanks for the articles and links.

I came from a family that saved EVERYTHING! Never could figure out why my mom would keep 20 to 30 year old canceled checks from things like grocery shopping! While my childhood home wasn't dirty, it always was disorganized.

After spending time in the military (and being a barracks sergeant for awhile), I got hit hard with the tidiness bug. I try to adhere to the rule "if I haven't worn it, used it, dusted it or remembered I had it in 6 months---out it goes!" While I can't claim my house is dust free, I don't leave things laying around.

I'm also looking through and rethinking my need for the possessions I have. As for my collections, I've realized that it was the thrill of the hunt I really enjoyed, instead of the actually having (and dusting) the items.

I've discovered that when I have too much STUFF, my creativity suffers, there's too much distraction. And everything has to have a home and a logical one at that.

My boyfriend has the "save everything as it may be useful someday" lifestyle. His house, garage and basement are filled with things he, his parents and grandparents have/had. He even has sweaters that he wore when he was in high school (and he's in his late 50's)! At least he can still fit into them! I told him he should try selling them on Ebay since they're definitely 50's retro!

[robn*in*philly]

There are three other "De-Clutter" threads that
I personally know of.....

The Homestead Board has two:
*Please Help me de-clutter today*
and
*Advice needed on housecleaning*

This board (Homestead) has
*BIG Project, Clean Out, Organize,......*

All these threads have great ideas and good sites to
visit.

Best wishes to all who are trying to de-clutter.
and Thanks to those who are kind enuff to offer
help, suggestions and/or just their support in our
efforts!!!


It didn't get that way overnight, don't expect to clear
it all out overnight!

and I loved the expression about when it comes to
tossing or donating of "BE BRUTAL" don't hang onto
stuff.

Thanks Dr.D. for another spot for inspiration.

robN

[sandrasacre]

Dr. declutter,
I foresee a problem with Ebaying. I have just started, but, how do I keep organized, neat, and decluttered. I have items to be listed, items that I have listed, items waiting to be bid on, items waiting for people to pay, items to be sent.

That just my stuff. What if I go out and start listing my family members stuff? I would have another clutter problem. Items from family members to be listed, items that I listed for family members, items waiting to be bid on for family members, items waiting for people to pay for family members, items to be sent for family members.

How do I keep decluttered and organized from all this?

Sandra

[dr.declutter]

Hi sandrasacre. Hang in there and somebody will have a good answer for you. Believe me, I'm the last guy you'd want advice from on keeping things organized. But I'm sure some kind-hearted eBay seller will be able to give you a few tips. Also, check some of the links on starting an eBay business on New to Ebay board. My goal right now is just to get rid of all the stuff, not by selling it on eBay but by just giving it away. No hassles and a good tax write off too!

wildpaint your boyfriend and you need to have a talk 🙂 Whatever you do don't marry a clutter addict! I should know, being one myself, that all this clutter does not make for a happy wife. Now, getting rid of the clutter on the other hand has definitely made my wife a little happier. Overall she loves me inspite of my clutter. Thank God for that!

robN thanks for the heads up on those other threads. I'll check 'em out. But in the mean time I'm just about to start hauling things out of the basement again. My motto "everything must go!"

[dr.declutter]

Well last night I had a little bid of declutter's remorse. I donated some old stereo stuff that I'd bought on ebay and then regretted it, thinking "maybe I should have tested that stuff first, maybe I could have gotten it working right." Thankfully, reason won the day and I won't be going reclaiming what I donated. So it's splitsville for me and my old stereo components.

Now those were eBay purchased replacements for broken stereo components I bought over 20 years ago. I was trying to rebuild the old rack system. Yes, I know a mini system is what everyone wants these days, and that the old rack system takes a lot room with its huge 15" speakers, but dog gone it right now I just can't stand the thought of parting with it.

I'll have to think this one through. Since the system is exactly clutter, just a broken down luxury item, I guess I can afford to think on this one while I go after all the rest of the junk in my house.

Have a good day everybody! 🙂

[dr.declutter]

Last night I boxed and bagged up about 7 things to be sold on eBay by one of those eBay stores that have set up all over the country. I feel pretty good about getting that ready to leave the house. Still lots to go. We've got the flu in the house right now though so it'll be slow going for a few days. Have a good one!

[dr.declutter]

Well, I am now facing the difficult decision of what to do with heirlooms and books. I love books and it will be hard to part with so many titles I meant to read "someday". Some of these books belonged to my father. After my mother passed away a little over a year ago I was given some items from the estate, including things that belonged to my father.

Now that the months have passed by I'm a little less sensitive to the idea of parting with these possessions, and the memories are less somber. I guess my plan is to see how many of these possessions can be passed on to neices and nephews who knew and loved their grandparents. I'll keep a few things for my own children of course, but my overall goal is to reduce THINGS taking up space in our house so much will have to go. I hope to have gone through all these items by mid February.

[dr.declutter]

Here is an interesting site with a focus on "recovering" from clutter. Looks helpful.

http://www.clutterless.org/

[wildpaintponies]

Thanks for that additional link. Sorry to see that a house fire did the ultimate in decluttering the site owner's home and possessions. Thank goodness he, his loved ones and pets got out O.K.

Regarding your problem with letting go of things from your parents estate----why not find out what things younger relatives would like to have that belonged to your parents and then pass them on. Before doing so take pictures of these treasures and place them in an album or scrapbook. That way you have the memories of these items (photographically), but don't have to store or dust them. I'm in the process of doing this now with some items I've had since my parents died, but know my nephew and his wife would love to have. They're really into genealogy and family ties kind of things. I would want these items passed on to certain family members anyway if something were to happen to me. Might as well let the younger folks enjoy them now.

As for family heirlooms or antiques nobody seems to want or have room for, they could always be sold and the money donated to a cause or charity you know the original owner would have approved of (if keeping the money made from a sale made you feel sad, etc.). Or wait until the local senior center, humane society or whatever had their yearly bazaar or sale and just donate the items for them to sell.

Gotta go sort some stuff, so have a great evening!