Vent, my first negative. What I learned

[lgonzalez28]

So maybe I am just venting because I am truly embarrassed for my error. 

I listed a bedskirt that I used on my Queen bed at some point in the past. Without thinking to measure (my first mistake) I listed it as queen sized.

About a week after delivery I notice my FB has a neg. and that I listed a king as a queen. 

Not hearing from my buyer, I felt horrible and apologized profusely, offered a return for full refund, offered a partial to keep. I take full responsibility for my mistake and as a buyer, I understand the frustration. The buyer is acting as though I am lying and deceitful purposefully. Prior to the accusations I may have just refunded fully, but this still wouldn't be enough 

She states she had it dry cleaned right after delivery costing $35 because "she trusted my size" without inspecting it. 

I take responsibility for my error, but I can't also take responsibility for extra costs that had nothing to do with my listing. This was sent clean and pressed, nor is she stating it required dry cleaning due to anything other than her preference to do so.

So I went from feeling really embarrassed and reaching out to do what I thought was the right thing, to feeling completely belittled.

Should I have left well enough alone? Or do you all offer to fix it if you acknowledge an error?

I may do things differently if that were to ever occur. AND ALSO MEASURE. These are my take-aways.

Thanks for letting me vent. 

[ersatz_sobriquet]

You don't pay anybody's dry cleaning bill, good grief...the audacity if she asked for that. BTW, I'm hearing more and more that buyers are claiming they dry cleaned items and asking for the seller to pay for it, I'm not always believing it to be true. Are you sure it wasn't a queen? 

I don't like people who leave negs and complain after the fact. It's aggressive behavior to leave a neg without asking the seller first to fix the situation. For me, such a buyer has shut down good communication by leaving that neg before explaining the situation to me, and I do not wish to deal with those kinds of people. Take the neg with pride, and move onto the next sales with no more thought on the matter except to correct any errors you might have made going forward, if, you really did make an error. 

[mr_lincoln]

@lgonzalez28   Who in this world "dry cleans" a bed sheet?  That's bogus sure.

At this point you have nothing to lose and trying to appease the Buyer with what you have sent thus far has had little effect ... perhaps something like,

Dear (First name),

You know, I have given our transaction some more thought.  I made an honest mistake with the sheet size.  eBay's Help Pages encourage "Trading Partners" to work things out and that is their term for a Buyer and Seller in a transaction.  With the current system they have I can offer a full refund including your original shipping cost plus pay the return shipping of the item.  Outside of those amounts eBay's system makes no allowance to increase the amount.  You have left less then Positive Feedback for me and eBay has a program for Feedback revision so when two Trading Partners work things out the Seller can send the Buyer a Feedback revision form to make a change, which, in addition to the full refund for you I am also pursuing that.  If any of this is of interest to you then I will look forward to hearing from you.  Otherwise we can consider the matter closed.

Sincerely,

Your name"

To me that pretty much sums up your position.  If you have already "Replied" to the Buyer's FB then forget the FB revision, eBay will not allow revisions after a reply has been made.

If the Buyer says they are not interested then consider a response to the neg FB ... other Buyers will probably be more interested in YOUR reply to the neg FB then the FB itself ... perhaps, "Listed Queen size instead of King, easy mistake"  Other Buyers reading a simple non-emotional Reply like that might think the Buyer got bent out of shape for no real reason ...

[lgonzalez28]

Thank you for the helpful advice.
Yes, she sent measurements, I have a 4 poster bed that often fits larger, or longer drop lengths due to the frame so I probably didn't have a perfect fit and just couldn't tell because most of it is covered.
Definitely my error.
I have not had household items drycleaned in about a year. If it doesn't make it through the washer or wardrobe steamer, I replace it with something from eBay or Mercari. Dry cleaning a pillow cover cost me $18 each, I can just buy new ones, but to each their own preference.

I think I just felt as though I was going above and beyond by reaching out first and was not expecting the hostile messages.

I love that this forum allows us to discuss things because I feel better already. And will probably take a few days from listing just to make sure I triple check my measurements and such for the items that need to be listed

[mr_lincoln]

@ersatz_sobriquet   I agree 110% ... great post! 

[lgonzalez28]

I responded with very similar verbage, then just added to bbl. 

I don't intend to respond to feedback. I made the mistake, I tried to fix it, and it's there for eternity or until I make enough sales to bury it a bit 😆 

I have never liked seeing responses to feedback unless of course, your buying is flat out scamming. This is not the case here 

[inhawaii]

"Sorry my mistake. Sent wrong size. Offered full refund. Buyer declined."

[lgonzalez28]

After some thought and suggestions, I am going to respond just this way. Ty

[mr_lincoln]

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@inhawaii wrote:

"Sorry my mistake. Sent wrong size. Offered full refund. Buyer declined."

---

Perfect ...

[pburn]

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@lgonzalez28 wrote:
After some thought and suggestions, I am going to respond just this way. Ty

---

@lgonzalez28 

Remember that when you reply to negative feedback, the comment isn't really for your disappointed buyer, it's really for all future buyers to read . . .

[luckythewinner]

Not hearing from my buyer, I felt horrible and apologized profusely, offered a return for full refund, offered a partial to keep. I take full responsibility for my mistake and as a buyer, I understand the frustration.

No offense, but IMHO offering a partial refund for your mistake is only taking partial responsibility. 

Taking "full responsibility" would have been to issue an immediate, full and unconditional refund.

You say that as a buyer you understand the frustration, but yet the only solutions you offered were either to make the buyer only partially whole, or to force him to do extra work to return your mistake just to get his money back. 

prior to the accusations I may have just refunded fully 

You had a chance to do that before the accusation, but you did not. 

[lgonzalez28]

Naturally we offer a full refund. Return shipping at my cost. I don't think many sellers would offer a full refund and let them keep it right from the start. I contacted her to make that offer. Had the conversation gone differently, I would have offered her this. The response was refund plus her "dry cleaning cost of $35". 

I was not even sure at that point if I was even wrong. 

[luckythewinner]

@lgonzalez28 wrote:

I don't think many sellers would offer a full refund and let them keep it right from the start.

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IMHO that is because most sellers don't actually do everything they can; they only do what they think is sufficient. And then afterward they say that they *would* have done more, but only if the buyer *deserved* it. 

[gwzcomps]

Depending on the messages the buyer sent I have the feeling you could get the feedback removed for "feedback extortion" reasons. If they say something like "pay me for my dry cleaning or I leave bad feedback" that is against the rules. Honestly it never hurts to call about getting feedback removed anyways. Sometimes you would be surprised what they will remove. Also I don't think it has been mentioned yet, but don't forget to add them to your blocked buyer list 🙂

[lgonzalez28]

Although I get what is implied, I disagree. I did not want to come off as I was questioning her assessment of size. Once again, there was no communication to me as to this issue so if no measurements were provided, how would I even know if I made an error without getting the item back?
She provided measurements only after I offered her a refund.
You seem to be questioning my integrity, which is insulting. I could have just never contacted the buyer. it isn't a large amount of money, but that isn't even what the buyer wanted refunded.
The item was under $18, the buyer wanted $53 plus shipping.