Refund after 6 months - what would you do

[shortcake21]

Back in November, I shipped a $20 doll to Mexico. It said delivery attempted but never delivered and the buyer said she missed it at the local post office and she’d been told it was returned to sender.  Essentially unclaimed and Seemed entirely a

problem on her end. She asked me to send it back to her. I said I could do that when I got it back if she paid the cost of shipping again. Or I could refund her. No, she wanted the doll. 
I didn’t get it back until mid March. She asked if I could send it a different method than USPS. I said no, especially as we were in the midst of the COVID lockdown starting and I didn’t want to be running around jumping through hoops. I think I offered a refund again. A few weeks later she said USPS would be ok. 
By this time, the listing had expired from eBay, and PayPal didn’t have the info for me to invoice her for shipping. I asked for some other contact info. By the beginning of June, she gave me an email to contact her. I sent a note with that method and 3 weeks later had to direct her again to look for my contact. I have asked her if that is the best address to send her an invoice for the return shipping. I’ve yet to get any confirmation of a good PayPal address for her.

This buyer goes days or sometimes weeks at a time without responding. She writes only in Spanish. So this has been dragged out and both of us have to run our exchanges through translation. 
She has finally decided a refund is the easiest course. She wants me to wire the refund to a bank account. Sure enough, I no longer have the ability to refund her through PayPal.  I personally find the idea of an international wire transfer sketchy and more hoops to jump through.

i admit to dropping the ball at one point in April because a 6 month old return wasn’t a top priority in the midst of the stress of the pandemic. But she’s thoroughly dragged it out too.

I’m someone who tries to do the right thing but at this point, this is ridiculous. Do I try to figure out the wire transfer or tell her she’s out of luck / ignore. It’s not like she can open a case or leave negative feedback, it’s been too long. Even if PayPal had a case, I think that might be outdated. I’m still willing to refund her, but not through her method. 
Am I crazy for even attempting to help her at this point?

[aldente28]

Oh my goodness.

Well, where to start...

I think I would suggest you stop if you can and try to end this transaction. I'm not trying to browbeat you with this, but I think your mistake was drawing this out in your attempt to "make it right". If it were me, I would have relisted the item if someone became interested in it again. I don't think I've seen any case where complex, convoluted payment exchanges have gone well. So many things can go wrong.

If there is an easy way to end the transaction, I would do it. But again, it's been so long and as you can see, things can go wrong and it gets even more complicated. I don't know if I even understand all the implications of all the things you said about time and transactions and obligations, but if you can do it, I might think about just stopping. It looks to me like each time you try to do something good, it gets worse.

I think I would draw a hard line at international wire transfers. Nothing about it feels good to me in the context of this months old attempt at this failed transaction. I might just consider it a failed transaction and let it go, if I understand the situation right.

[dirk12955]

Just refund her the money and forget about it.    There's nothing to be gained by going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

Divide the profit from this deal by the number of hours you've wasted.

[shortcake21]

But how? Through the wire transfer?

[mtgraves7984]

Well, the buyer lost the MBG privileges with the return of the package to you. In eBay's eyes, waiting at the PO means delivered. You've done your part.

Yours is a transaction already in the eBay system. You're truly out FVFs and the .30 transaction charge. I would consider refunding less those two charges imposed upon you.

Think on that, and good luck!

[chapeau-noir]

The transaction should be in your Paypal account even if gone from ebay - if you can't refund through that you can simply send her the purchase price (minus your fees if you like) as a new Paypal transaction.  I would simply say that you can't wire her at this time (wiring to a bank account is perfectly safe and is very common in the rest of the world, but not here with our funky banking system, and a pretty good fee is attached, so I wouldn't go there).  

[mtgraves7984]

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@shortcake21 wrote:
But how? Through the wire transfer?

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Refunds go back to the original funding source.

[tev4all]

If you still have the buyers address maybe send her $20 through the mail. Let her know she has a package coming. (don't tell her what is coming, just a package.) 

be done with it, and  let it go.

[hawkwind5454]

Ok.... First off, your consideration does not even enter this person's head. You did nothing wrong. As others have suggested, stop this Insanity now, and if she wants her money back, let her come to you.

You have no clue who this person is that you are dealing with.  And even if you refund her I can see a hole new nightmare scenario playing out with that. From what you have said you have gone beyond and above what is required of a good seller.  This transaction was compromised long ago. For all the grief your buyer has put you through, she should just let you keep the money anyway. 

[ebeths_eclectic_collectibles]

I think you are brave by shipping to Mexico. It definitely is on my exclusion list!

[powell-memorabilia]

one more reason for me to ONLY use GSP.  I hate dealing with this garbage - int'l sales outside of GSP have been, more often than not, a major pain.  GSP has been great - and it doesn't seem to have hurt int'l sales.  

[shortcake21]

The transaction shows up, but the option of refunding no longer does. Nor is there an email address. That’s what I keep asking her for and not getting. 

[kensgiftshop]

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@shortcake21 wrote:

The transaction shows up, but the option of refunding no longer does. Nor is there an email address. That’s what I keep asking her for and not getting. 

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You have their mailing address, mail them a check minus all your fee's.

[glorybells]

If she really wanted a refund that badly at this point, I would think that she would try harder to work with you on this.  It seems that she’s been minimally cooperative from the beginning.  It’s beyond the time when she can cause you any grief over it, nothing you would do would get your seller fees back, I think it’s time you just cut this mess loose and walk away from it.

[dtexley3]

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@shortcake21 wrote:

Back in November, I shipped a $20 doll to Mexico. It said delivery attempted but never delivered and the buyer said she missed it at the local post office and she’d been told it was returned to sender.  Essentially unclaimed and Seemed entirely a

problem on her end. She asked me to send it back to her. I said I could do that when I got it back if she paid the cost of shipping again. Or I could refund her. No, she wanted the doll. 
I didn’t get it back until mid March. She asked if I could send it a different method than USPS. I said no, especially as we were in the midst of the COVID lockdown starting and I didn’t want to be running around jumping through hoops. I think I offered a refund again. A few weeks later she said USPS would be ok. 
By this time, the listing had expired from eBay, and PayPal didn’t have the info for me to invoice her for shipping. I asked for some other contact info. By the beginning of June, she gave me an email to contact her. I sent a note with that method and 3 weeks later had to direct her again to look for my contact. I have asked her if that is the best address to send her an invoice for the return shipping. I’ve yet to get any confirmation of a good PayPal address for her.

I’m someone who tries to do the right thing but at this point, this is ridiculous. Do I try to figure out the wire transfer or tell her she’s out of luck / ignore. It’s not like she can open a case or leave negative feedback, it’s been too long. Even if PayPal had a case, I think that might be outdated. I’m still willing to refund her, but not through her method. 
Am I crazy for even attempting to help her at this point?

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Send the money via Paypal friends and family to the email address she gave you.  Up to her at that point.