Problems with a buyer

[cpht]

Hello everyone, I am a newish seller here and unfortunately I've already had an issue arise with a buyer.  It started out when she bought 3 of my items dirt cheap and then started complaining about the shipping cost.  I did the best I could on it and I refunded her some money.  Please understand I am selling vintage/antique dolls and I pack them extremely well so I tend to use oversize boxes hence the higher shipping cost.  I thought I was done with her after her first purchase, but unfortunately I had listed another doll and she wound up winning that one as well.  She immediately started complaining about the shipping cost and asking if I would refund her.  I did just to appease her.  I had the shipping at a set rate which was 30 dollars.  That is the average rate for antique dolls and I thought I was being fair.  I also have to factor in that I am supplying lots of bubble wrap and tape and that gets expensive quickly.  So after I refunded her she started inundating me with messages about was I going to be listing more, when, etc.  Now this is where I got really concerned, she then proceeded to message me and ask could she come in person to look at my dolls.  It is my understanding that would violate Ebay's policies.  Furthermore, I don't want to do my business that way.  I want to give everyone a fair chance to bid and buy and I feel she is trying to get the upper hand and not have to do it like everyone else has to do.  She is almost to the point of harassment/obsession.  She has discovered she only lives 2 hours away from me and it's like she thinks she's hit the jackpot and that I"m a big pushover.  I thought about blocking her from my auctions, but she will get a message when she tries to bid (and I know she will) that I'm not accepting bids from her.  The type of person she is I know she will make a huge deal about it and I don't want to lose my good standing on Ebay.  Not only do I sell, I purchase LOTS here and have for years.  Your experience and advice would be much appreciated and I apologize for the long post.  Thank you!

[gurlcat]

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@adamcartwright wrote:

For the future, I would use a PO Box as my ship from and returns address. You don't need these nut cases knowing your home address.

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That's a pretty inconvenient and expensive solution to an extremely rare and unlikely problem.  In my 6 years of selling I've had one buyer threaten to come to my house, but he lived about a thousand miles away and his threat was over about $30 so I didn't sweat it.  Granted the OP's buyer lives only 2 hours away, but 1. she's not threatening, just asking if she can come, and 2. this is probably the closest to an in-person threat the OP will ever have.  

The chance of any real harm doesn't justify the annual cost of renting a P.O. box where all our returns would go (keep in mind it would need to be one large enough to receive returns) and the pain of having to go there to pick them up.  

[sin-n-dex]

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@gurlcat wrote:

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@adamcartwright wrote:

For the future, I would use a PO Box as my ship from and returns address. You don't need these nut cases knowing your home address.

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That's a pretty inconvenient and expensive solution to an extremely rare and unlikely problem.  In my 6 years of selling I've had one buyer threaten to come to my house, but he lived about a thousand miles away and his threat was over about $30 so I didn't sweat it.  Granted the OP's buyer lives only 2 hours away, but 1. she's not threatening, just asking if she can come, and 2. this is probably the closest to an in-person threat the OP will ever have.  

The chance of any real harm doesn't justify the annual cost of renting a P.O. box where all our returns would go (keep in mind it would need to be one large enough to receive returns) and the pain of having to go there to pick them up.  

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I had someone in the same city about 10 years ago bidding on auctions and making a big argument about how he needed to pick the items up in person. I blocked him. He made a new account and started bidding again. When I wouldn't give him the address to pick up his items he didn't pay, so I blocked him again. Haven't had issues with him since. I did have a PO Box, but he didn't know that, just the item location in the listing (which is when I shipped with Canada Post). I changed my listings to "Greater Toronto Area" and told anyone who asked where in Toronto that I was an hour outside the city, that being said it wasn't worth the drive to pick stuff up in person.

I did once or twice meet someone at the McDonald's down the street from my house when selling my ex-husbands action figures. They were big and expensive to ship and not selling for much, so it was the only way to cement the sale, but I got paid in cash. That was allowed at the time. Not sure what the local pick up rules are.

I did once have an emergency situation of a buyer buying a computer part and needing it right away, and Canada Post losing it in the mail (it was supposed to go to Toronto and went to Halifax instead, and it was overnight delivery). My partner met this buyer at his place with a replacement part. When the proper one showed up, he came back to return it and they sat on the porch having a tea and talking about the tech industry. The buyer was retired and working on various projects for fun and sourcing old computer parts (which is what we had, we were liquidating our unused stuff).

So I think it depends on the situation.

C.

[12345jamesstamps]

I kinda agree.

It's like a "she said he said" thing.

We only hear from one person.

Remember when one person tells another person tells another person and the whole story gets overblown.

I had someone who met me at the post office to pick up his item in person instead of mailing it. I enjoyed talking to him. It was a great interaction.

[sin-n-dex]

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@12345jamesstamps wrote:

I kinda agree.

It's like a "she said he said" thing.

We only hear from one person.

Remember when one person tells another person tells another person and the whole story gets overblown.

I had someone who met me at the post office to pick up his item in person instead of mailing it. I enjoyed talking to him. It was a great interaction.

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When I started auctions in 2013, I had a buyer from the north part of Toronto bidding every week. He found out that I could get supplies at a discount and asked if he could buy some, so I sent a nice big box with supplies. When he needed supplies again, he suggested maybe we could meet in person.

At the time we used to take regular visits to the Royal York Hotel in downtown Toronto to use their business lounge for some creative time away from home. That was when the hotel had $149 CAD specials on rooms (in downtown Toronto of all places). We invited him down to the hotel to meet with us in the business lounge (with the lounge's permission) and had drinks for a few hours while chatting about coins. He picked my brain on coins, got his box of coins and supplies, all was good. We did that a few times after that. He's since given up the hobby, so I haven't heard from him in close to 10 years.

C.

[dogofwar777]

When I sold here years ago, I had an annoying buyer like this and blocked them. He then had another account and asked why I blocked his other account and I told him I didn't want to deal with his nonsense and if he messaged me again I would notify ebay and then blocked his new account and never heard from him again.

[reallynicestamps]

I've rarely had buyers pick up, but when I did I would either direct them to our shop (before we retired) or to the coffee shop down the street from our house.

The biggest problem with pickups is the customer who never shows or who shows hours late. With the shop, that wasn't a problem, because we were either open or closed and there during opening hours. With the coffee shop I could have a latte and a nanaimo bar while working on the current novel.

I've seen many recommendations of meeting at the police station, but frankly if there is one place where there are guaranteed to be a lot of crooks and muggers, it's the cop shop.

[vintagecraze50]

If I have not done good business with a buyer and this is their first rodeo with me I do NOT let that buyer purchase huge amounts at first. I see how the sales go to be sure this is not going to be a series returner, absolutely scammer with intent to do chargebacks on everything they buy, or be a favorites on here a return fraudster who sends nothing back. Be careful with ANY ONE buyer racking up a big bill. You will have a huge problem if they turn out to be any of the crooks I just spoke of.

[vintagecraze50]

Also ABSOLUTELY no meet and greet with someone you do not know.

[ajs_coins_and_alchemy]

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@cpht wrote:

She thinks she's hit the jackpot and that I"m a big pushover.   

Absolutely

The type of person she is I know she will make a huge deal about it and I don't want to lose my good standing on Ebay.  

eBay will not punish you for blocking a buyer. However the buyer may retaliate.

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[vintagecraze50]

You seem to have a fairly hot bunch of dolls if she is drooling over them. Why not wait until the next bunch of droolers come along and pay your shipping price. Just a thought.

[gurlcat]

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@vintagecraze50 wrote:

If I have not done good business with a buyer and this is their first rodeo with me I do NOT let that buyer purchase huge amounts at first. I see how the sales go to be sure this is not going to be a series returner, absolutely scammer with intent to do chargebacks on everything they buy, or be a favorites on here a return fraudster who sends nothing back. Be careful with ANY ONE buyer racking up a big bill. You will have a huge problem if they turn out to be any of the crooks I just spoke of.

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Ooo, you just reminded me of something.  I don't know why none of us thought of this before .... also kinda hard to tell if the OP is even following the thread .... but for anyone who doesn't know, you CAN stop someone from doing what this buyer did, by setting your preferences to limit the number of items they can win/buy.  The addendum underneath makes it to where the above rule only kicks in if the buyer has 0-5 feedbacks (you can choose), to avoid buyers who create new accounts just to rack up big purchases and do whatever scam.  

[chapeau-noir]

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@vintagecraze50 wrote:

Also ABSOLUTELY no meet and greet with someone you do not know.

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Well, I guess I've evaded bloody mayhem because I don't worry about it. But then, I don't sell stuff that people are going to get nuts about so that might help.

[vintagecraze50]

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@gurlcat wrote:

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@vintagecraze50 wrote:

If I have not done good business with a buyer and this is their first rodeo with me I do NOT let that buyer purchase huge amounts at first. I see how the sales go to be sure this is not going to be a series returner, absolutely scammer with intent to do chargebacks on everything they buy, or be a favorites on here a return fraudster who sends nothing back. Be careful with ANY ONE buyer racking up a big bill. You will have a huge problem if they turn out to be any of the crooks I just spoke of.

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Ooo, you just reminded me of something.  I don't know why none of us thought of this before .... also kinda hard to tell if the OP is even following the thread .... but for anyone who doesn't know, you CAN stop someone from doing what this buyer did, by setting your preferences to limit the number of items they can win/buy.  The addendum underneath makes it to where the above rule only kicks in if the buyer has 0-5 feedbacks (you can choose), to avoid buyers who create new accounts just to rack up big purchases and do whatever scam.  

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Thanks for posting all that to our current poster and for anyone else reading this thread. This is a lifesaver at your fingertips to stop unwanted multiple purchases and to be able to stop high high dollar buys from a new customer.

[vintagecraze50]

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@chapeau-noir wrote:

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@vintagecraze50 wrote:

Also ABSOLUTELY no meet and greet with someone you do not know.

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Well, I guess I've evaded bloody mayhem because I don't worry about it. But then, I don't sell stuff that people are going to get nuts about so that might help.

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Yes, it may be perfectly safe as long as you meet in a public place etc for ordinary things. I cannot even venture to say what could happen with a high dollar transaction high scam item and the lengths some criminals will go to to rob you, even in plain sight nowadays.

[candd205]

I have met up with people in public places before (at CVS, at Whole Foods), but I wouldn't meet up with a stranger to let them come in my house to look at my stuff. I think just friendly communication about not meeting up would work. As far as blocking, I have a feeling she just thinks you are buddies now that she bought a big lot from you and was happy enough with her purchase that she wants to buy more. I think mostly harmless, and I wouldn't block someone who bought things from me and was satisfied with her purchase. Repeat buyers are nice to have.