How do I handle this buyer?

[ilovelamp4]

Hi there, I sold a monogrammed Christmas Stocking with free shipping last PM. Buyer adds a note that he wants a different name on stocking and says to email him if there’s a problem. I immediately messaged him that the item can not be remonogrammed by me.

i am required to ship by today and he hasn’t responded to my message. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[*madison]

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@monster-deals wrote:

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@estjoh-2 wrote:
We'll start by not calling them an idiot...

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Why?

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Because it's poor form.

The title is bad, and doesn't make the op look good.

I wonder if the title would have been the same if the op posted with the selling id first. hmm

[city*satins]

Thanks!

OK - yes I see the listing. It's crystal clear to me that this is an already monogrammed stocking.

Cancelling the sale without the buyer's agreement is a potential problem as eBay is now messaging the buyer for confirmation.  This is one where I might phone eBay customer service if the buyer doesn't respond.

[emerald40]

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@blueeggsandspam wrote:

Looking at your listings, it's obvious which names are available.

I would cancel with buyer requested if you don't have the name he wants. Don't ship it. He probably thinks you monogram these yourself.

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Exactly.  And I can see how he may have thought that way.

So just advise him that these were pre monogrammed and you do not have the one he now wants in stock.  Give him the option to cancel.  Tell him if he does not respond in X amount of time, you will cancel as buyer changed his mind and is now requesting something different,  If he does not respond, I would agree with the other poster that this would fall under buyer requested and cancel.

[emerald40]

What happened to the days when buys could not ask for anything not stipulated in the original listing?

[monster-deals]

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@*madison wrote:

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@monster-deals wrote:

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@estjoh-2 wrote:
We'll start by not calling them an idiot...

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Why?

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Because it's poor form.

The title is bad, and doesn't make the op look good.

I wonder if the title would have been the same if the op posted with the selling id first. hmm

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So? 

Poor form begets poor form.

[inhawaii]

I would explain to th ebuyer what's up and ask the BUYER to request to cancel the sale.  Obviously it's not a good idea to send the buyer a stocking monogrammed "TOM" when his name is "JERRY"

As far as calling the buyer an idiot. Yes, in this overly politically correct world, you're not allowed to call in idiot and idiot, even if they are.

Just like they don't keep score at my son's soccer game because EVERYBODY IS A WINNER. Wait until these kids grown up and learn that in the real world, not everyone is a winner. 

[emerald40]

Has nothing to do with being PC.

IMO, doing it on a open message board under your own account name where lurkers lurk, it is just not good business sense.

[city*satins]

I see that a rewording has been made by a MOD - rendering some of the discussion pointless.

I do not like when someone takes liberties and edits original text.  My opinion is that the offending word should either have been allowed to stand, or bleeped out.  Not changed.

In this case, since the buyer is unknown to the readers here - nobody's delicate sensibilities were at risk of being so grotesquely offended as to require him or her to retire to a dark room with a vinegar compress.  It should have been left alone unless the author requested the change. 

JMHO

[*madison]

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@monster-deals wrote:

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@*madison wrote:

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@monster-deals wrote:

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@estjoh-2 wrote:
We'll start by not calling them an idiot...

---

Why?

---

Because it's poor form.

The title is bad, and doesn't make the op look good.

I wonder if the title would have been the same if the op posted with the selling id first. hmm

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So? 

Poor form begets poor form.

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Not in my world it doesn't.

When they go low, I go high. I never sink to anyone's level.

Also, I don't think it was poor form from the buyer, it was a mis-understanding..

[*madison]

In this case, since the buyer is unknown to the readers here - nobody's delicate sensibilities were at risk of being so grotesquely offended as to require him or her to retire to a dark room with a vinegar compress.

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It wasn't about the buyer,

it made the op and ebay look bad.

[dblkj-0]

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@inhawaii wrote:

I would explain to th ebuyer what's up and ask the BUYER to request to cancel the sale.  Obviously it's not a good idea to send the buyer a stocking monogrammed "TOM" when his name is "JERRY"

As far as calling the buyer an idiot. Yes, in this overly politically correct world, you're not allowed to call in idiot and idiot, even if they are.

Just like they don't keep score at my son's soccer game because EVERYBODY IS A WINNER. Wait until these kids grown up and learn that in the real world, not everyone is a winner. 

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Sorry I shouldn't have laughed because it is actually far, far worse than that.

One day those who have long suffered will come...

And they will talk a straight talk and they will walk a walk so straight there is not even a question, these folks do not put up with the whining. And they will invade slowly and tentatively at first and some will feel compassion and others not so much but in the long and the short of it they will take away everything that was given to these kids away. And the kids will be left destitute, some will cry and whine and beg and plead but most will just stand or sit there with either a blank or a headlighted deer look in their eyes.

That is what is going to happen.

Caravans come to mind.

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

For what it’s worth I teach martial arts to kids. The whole trophy thing that old people cite tells me that only the gifted deserve awards. That the fat kid team that loses the soccer tournament does not deserve a reward. Even if they have worked much harder than the gifted kids.

This attitude about only the best deserve medals is antithetical to how I think kids should be raised. That we should reward effort and not just winners. This attitude ofonly the best are rewarded is why we have an obesity problem in this country. It also encourages people to cheat.

at our tournaments all kids get rewarded. Because they worked hard and performed in front of hundreds of people even though they were afraid. They are the true winners IMHO, not the physically gifted kids who don’t have to work hard to win.

Withall due respect, this is a monkey do statement from people who really do not consider how real life should work. 

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

Btw my kids got participant trophies and didn’t grow up to be entitled snowflakes. They are hard workers yet care about others.

imo this trophy thing is an excuse by lazy parents looking for someone else to blame for whiny kids. Parents don’t want to accept that it was their parenting that caused 5hat behavior not a trophy. Maybe they should spend more time with their kids and not expect others to be the source of moral lessons.

[city*satins]

I wish there were a way to give 1,000 kudos to you for those words.

I'll leave it at this:

Thank you for saying that, and saying it so beautifully.

[the*dog*ate*my*tablecloth]

Thank you city! I volunteer to teach every week because I have helped hundreds of kids over the years. They have built self esteem and all the physical stuff. I am a role model for women in martial arts. I have been considering retiring but my husband pointed out (at dinner last night) how many lives I have touched in the past ten years.

This trophy argument is a pet peeve of mine, as you can probably tell.