Buyer says Boyfriend is going to destroy contents of package when it arrives and wants refund

[vintagecraze50]

THIS has got to be the most insane message after a sale and with an item not yet delivered. Buyers messages “ I need to get a refund. My boyfriend said he is not going to give me the item when it is delivered and said he is going to destroy it or put it in a dumpster when it arrives”. I am homeless and he will get them package”. 

So, I assuming this is some kind of REALLY REALLY DUMB SCAM OR SOME REALLY desperate lady who just got kicked out of her boyfriend house. SO WHO PAYED FOR THIS? IT’S IN I ASSUME BOYFRIENDS NAME. A male buyer. This is about a 300 buck ring. I tell her. NO RETURN, no refund. And that I will be happy to do a package intercept to prevent boyfriend from getting his hands on this. They reply, no thanks. I will keep it. WTH is this. I am still trying to recall this package.

[pcobra93]

Sounds like the boyfriend got tired of supporting her an gave her and her debt (and mental illness) the boot....??

[a_c_green]

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@pcobra93 wrote:

Sounds like the boyfriend got tired of supporting her an gave her and her debt (and mental illness) the boot....??

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I suspect that this boyfriend, if he exists, would know very well the value of the item and is not going to go destroying it. Maybe take it to the nearest pawnshop, perhaps...

[lacemaker3]

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@reallynicestamps wrote:

I'm actually willing to believe the (panicked) buyer.

The boyfriend threw her out.

She doesn't have enough money to pay first and last month rent+ security deposit on a new place- or hasn't had time to find one.

That makes her homeless. Whether in her car, a women's shelter, a motel, or under a bridge.

And she spent $300 in happier times (like last week) for something pretty.

She wants to have cash not bling, but the boyfriend is threatening to destroy her chances of getting a refund.

If there was a joint bank account, even more problems putting her finances in order

She may not be the brightest star on the Christmas tree, or very good at communication, but I can understand the situation.

Many people live paycheck to paycheck. Foolish but there you are.

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Taking the story at face value ... there's no reason not to accept the explanation. The threat to confiscate/steal or destroy another person's property is clearly reaching the level of domestic partner abuse.

One of the tactics that domestic abusers use, is to isolate the victim, destroy their self-esteem, block their finances and prevent them from learning how to escape the abuse. At least this woman was able to maintain some level of their self; apparently they have their own eBay account and hopefully paid with their own account as well, since they have asked for the transaction to be cancelled and refunded.

This victim-bashing is appalling.

[spiffy*dynamo]

They did not ask for the transaction to be cancelled. They said they 'need a refund' because the item was going to be withheld and destroyed. OP offered to intercept the package to prevent this and the buyer's response was no thanks, don't bother, I'll keep it. To me that is suspicious, doesn't add up and gives me a reason not to accept the explanation. Painting oneself as a victim is also a common tactic for scammers. I don't know what's actually going on but there is definitely room to doubt the buyer's victim story.

[lacemaker3]

Yes, I agree. There is definitely room to doubt what is going on. We definitely don't have the whole story. OP doesn't have the whole story, and we are getting it second hand.

Since there are two possibilities here, it is not appropriate to jump on one of the possibilities and start blaming the person who may be a victim. When there is room to doubt, then give the benefit of the doubt.

[az93]

I tried to intercept a package once. It was costly and i was told it couldn't be done once the plane leaves the ground. If  someone has had a successful package interception I would like to hear about it as this is often recommended on these boards.

[gurlcat]

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@dbfolks166mt wrote:

     Either this person is suffering from a severe case of one D ten T syndrome or this is the poorest scam attempt I have ever seen posted on this forum. Maybe a combination of both. 

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It's pretty bad but I have a contender from a few years ago.  -Wrote to me (with spelling/grammar that makes this one's look excellent), ANGRILY DEMANDING a refund because someone had ripped her box open on her porch and stole the designer handbag inside  ..... but left the shredded box apparently ..... and to prove she wasn't lying she took a photo of the shredded box ..... and accidentally included the corner of the red leather with white stitching handbag in the corner of the photo.  

[gurlcat]

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@spiffy*dynamo wrote:

They did not ask for the transaction to be cancelled. They said they 'need a refund' because the item was going to be withheld and destroyed. OP offered to intercept the package to prevent this and the buyer's response was no thanks, don't bother, I'll keep it. To me that is suspicious, doesn't add up and gives me a reason not to accept the explanation. Painting oneself as a victim is also a common tactic for scammers. I don't know what's actually going on but there is definitely room to doubt the buyer's victim story.

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Totally possible they both had access to the account, and it was the boyfriend who answered 'No thanks, I'll keep it."  

[gurlcat]

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@12345jamesstamps wrote:

"homeless"...how does one do a refund with a homeless person? Internet...iPhone...banking...Probably using a public computer in a library.

I would not do a refund or even have recalled the package(which I assume there is a charge).

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Most homeless people have electronic payment methods of some kind.  Heck I have a house and I'm a seller but Paypal Prepaid is the only bank I use, ❤️ it.  
Recalling the package is how the OP can get the $300 item back .... yeah for a charge of (I think) $17 ... but that's better than getting a chargeback and no ring back.  

[gurlcat]

@vintagecraze50  -Am I remembering wrong, or was it you (just a few months ago) who also who had a buyer returning a ring after trying and failing to sell it on Mercari for way more than they paid you?  

[gurlcat]

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@az93 wrote:

I tried to intercept a package once. It was costly and i was told it couldn't be done once the plane leaves the ground. If  someone has had a successful package interception I would like to hear about it as this is often recommended on these boards.

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It's a pending charge that doesn't go through unless the interception works.   

[ebooksdiva]

I'm sorry but that is the strangest way to get a seller to cancel a transaction. 
I wouldn't get involved with the buyer's drama. 
If the boy friend throws away the item, then there won't be anything to return for a refund.
The buyer claims to be homeless but can afford to buy a $300 ring? Story seems trumped up to me, but I am skeptical about everything. 
 

[rugerskick]

Its a scam attempt.  Good you are still trying to intercept it.

[mam98031]

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@spiffy*dynamo wrote:

They did not ask for the transaction to be cancelled. They said they 'need a refund' because the item was going to be withheld and destroyed. OP offered to intercept the package to prevent this and the buyer's response was no thanks, don't bother, I'll keep it. To me that is suspicious, doesn't add up and gives me a reason not to accept the explanation. Painting oneself as a victim is also a common tactic for scammers. I don't know what's actually going on but there is definitely room to doubt the buyer's victim story.

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Which is exactly why the OP has filed for an interception of the package to protect themselves.  When the item gets back to the seller, they can refund the buyer.  There is absolutely NO need to cancel the transaction.  It isn't necessary to issue a refund.

[mam98031]

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@ebooksdiva wrote:

I'm sorry but that is the strangest way to get a seller to cancel a transaction. 
I wouldn't get involved with the buyer's drama. 
If the boy friend throws away the item, then there won't be anything to return for a refund.
The buyer claims to be homeless but can afford to buy a $300 ring? Story seems trumped up to me, but I am skeptical about everything. 
 

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No seller should EVER cancel a transaction once it ships.  That simply is NOT the proper way to handle things.

The OP filed an interception on the package.  When they get it back they simply refund the buyer.  A cancellation is NOT needed and simply should not be filed.