Buyer asks me to wait to ship an item then gets upset when I message them after they vanish?

[uzumakey]

I received a message from a buyer several days back asking if I combined shipping, and I replied saying I was happy to do so. That person then made a purchase soon and asked me to wait to ship as they wanted to browse my other items to see if there was something else they wanted to buy. Right, no problem. 

Three days later I hadn't heard from the buyer and had to mark the item shipped per my stated handling time. I messaged the buyer, very politely, to confirm that they still wanted to make another purchase. It wouldn't have taken them long to peruse my listings since I have fewer than 40 items up for sale right now. 

They responded very, very passive aggressively saying they were "soooooo sorry for the inconvenience" and that they were considering buying a certain item but not anymore. That it was no longer worth their time. I am honestly baffled at their response because I was in no way rushing them or even remotely rude in my initial message. Just asked them to please let me know if there was anything else they wanted to add to their original order. 

How long was this buyer expecting me to wait for a response anyway? From their reply it sounds like they were planning to get back to me in a week, by which time I would have gotten a late shipment defect from eBay from the package being delivered a week late. Buyers on here are ridiculous sometimes.

[emerald40]

This buyer was looking for an out and you gave it to him.

You did nothing wrong.  File unpaid strike, wait 4 days, and then close it.

And make sure to block him.

[uzumakey]

Bizarrely enough, he already paid! They purchased a BIN item and in the order notes told me not to ship out as he was planning on looking for more things to buy. He seems to think it was a gross breach of etiquette on my part for asking if he wanted to add more items to his order after telling me twice before that he was intending to just that...and disappearing for three days.

[a_c_green]

I generally put the blame on eBay in situations like this, saying something along the lines of, "eBay requires us to ship within 2 days of payment" (or whatever your Handling time is). The buyer may be a bit less huffy if you can persuade them that rules are rules, it's out of your hands, etc.

[emerald40]

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@uzumakey wrote:
Bizarrely enough, he already paid! They purchased a BIN item and in the order notes told me not to ship out as he was planning on looking for more things to buy. He seems to think it was a gross breach of etiquette on my part for asking if he wanted to add more items to his order after telling me twice before that he was intending to just that...and disappearing for three days.

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Maybe add a blurb in your description that you would be happy to combine shipping on additional items purchased within ______ days of your first purchase.

[d-k_treasures]

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@uzumakey wrote:

I received a message from a buyer several days back asking if I combined shipping, and I replied saying I was happy to do so. That person then made a purchase soon and asked me to wait to ship as they wanted to browse my other items to see if there was something else they wanted to buy. Right, no problem. 

Three days later I hadn't heard from the buyer and had to mark the item shipped per my stated handling time. I messaged the buyer, very politely, to confirm that they still wanted to make another purchase. It wouldn't have taken them long to peruse my listings since I have fewer than 40 items up for sale right now. 

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Unless you shipped it and received an acceptance scan, what you did has no effect on anything. You already have a ding for not shipping on time.

[uzumakey]

Figures. The best part of all this is that I made less than $2 off this transaction.

[uzumakey]

This is essentially what I said - something like, I don't mean to rush you but your item will be marked shipped because those are eBay's rules. Their response was, sorry to inconvenience you so much, you should stick to your "**bleep** retentive" rules and essentially said they would not be purchasing from me again.

I mean...I am not an independent mom and pop shop. I can't hold onto items for eBayers for days without shipping.