proper way to return item

[bowwowbows]

Shouldn't a buyer contact the seller to ask to return the item before starting a return request through ebay.  My understanding is that if the issue cannot be solved between the seller and the buyer then you ask ebay to step in.  Am I right?  My buyer received the shirt he bought which I described as light gray, he stated in his return request that it wasn't as described, that it is light blue.  What appears to one person may not appear the same color to the next one, for instance, the kind of light being used, being inside or outside in the sun, etc., I can understand if it was green and red, or black and white, but these two colors are so close.  I don't mind refunding his money, but now ebay says I have to pay for the return postage, which by the way, it was free shipping, so I paid the postage to him.