Trying to cancel a purchase

[fanaticman]

Ok so here is an odd cycle that leaves the purchaser powerless to get a timely refund/cancellation.  I negotiated a purchase of a ring that can be customized.  During the negotiation i asked a lot of questions about the different things that can be customized.  We settled on a price and I accepted while still negotiating some of the specifics of the customization.  Ebay then prsssured me to pay by letting me know I had 48 hours to pay or a non-payment case could be filed against me.  I've got perfect feedback so I paid.  The seller then confirmed some items I'd been concerned about and I've now asked to cancel the transaction as there is one thing that wasn't clear in the listing and once the seller made it clear I no longer wanted the ring.  So now the seller has gone quiet and ebay says the seller has to cancel the transaction or I can return the item once it arrives.  SO THE BUYER IS POWERLESS to cancel an item that hasn't been made or shipped and it's totally in the sellers hands to either cancel or not.  I don't get it.  It could take over a month to receive the item then fight for a refund.  I hope the seller is a decent person and allows the cancellation to go through.  Ebay says they can do nothing....Paypal refers to Ebay resolution center.