For those who think they have it bad...how about this poor guy:
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The
officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour,
sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on
cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun
needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife
says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that
this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the
driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can't you please keep your mouth shut
for once?" The wife smiles demurely and
says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for
the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers
at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that
you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an
automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well,
you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when
you pulled me over so that I could get my license
out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now,
dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when
you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third
ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY
DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer
looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your
husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
( I love this part.... )
"Only when he's been drinking."
