Help! How would you handle this buyer?

[october*moon]

Hello, All! After effectively "burning myself out" selling under-priced art, I have finally recovered (listing 2 in an hour), but would appreciate your input before I become a DOORMAT again... Last February I started listing cards again after a couple years hiatus, starting at 4.99. Within hours after I listed, a lady e-mailed me telling me how much she liked my style and asked if I would consider ending my auctions early so she could give her Mom (who is seriously ill with stage 4 cancer...this is true, I'm pretty sure) a unique Valentine's gift...she said she could afford anything under $10. So, I said, "Okay, $9.99" ~ she e-mailed back and said "I'll give you $5 each" (I know what you're thinking...that should have tipped me off...but there were 4, and I really needed the $20 ~ that, and that anyone wanted them was an ego boost...)...so, I said okay. I created a monster. From then on, I continued to list at 4.99 (I felt I "needed" to see bids, and was afraid, once I'd started listing at that, to raise my price), and "Miss Chintzy Bidder" snapped many, many of them up for my starting price (I didn't end any more early, though) ~ sometimes she would get out-bid, but too many times she was the high bidder, and many of those times she e-mailed and said things to the tune of "I'd really rather bid on such-and-such a card you have listed now...see if the second bidder wants this one..." ~ I didn't; I was afraid it would look like I'd had her bid it up, so I would just pay the fees and re-list later. I came to DREAD seeing her bid on my things, which she almost always did...(my husband would get on and say "you've got bids!"...and wouldn't understand why I wasn't pleased when he told me who it was...he said Bids are bids"...I finally had to 'fess up about how she would probably end up taking advantage of me...:o( ~ feeling foolish! Anyway, by this time she was e-mailing me regularly telling me all about her family and her Mom (and I did - and do - feel sorry for her), signing "your new friend"...she WOULD pay me, eventually, but always ran up a "tab" before she did...I did everything but tell her straight out that I needed to be paid NOW...(telling her how strapped for cash I was...which she never commented on)... I will NEVER start out original art at $5 again; I'm starting the new ones at 9.99; BUT, how would you all handle Miss Chintzy?...she just e-mailed this week saying how much she missed my art ~ :o( I would feel terrible blocking her, and if she wants to bid and carry through with the transaction like anyone else would expect to, that's fine, but I don't want the "doormat" thing to start again. She writes to me like I'm her best friend...(which I can't entirely say anything against...a lady who bought a chocolate mold from me 6 years ago, clear across the country, DID end up becoming one of my best friends!) Has anything like this ever happened to any of you? Anne

[october*moon]

That's "style" ~ I tried to fix it but there must be something weird going on with the posting, putting numbers and such in place of letters! Ha! It did it again....let me try it this way... s - t - y - l - e There. Strange!

[sunshinesketches]

Hi Anne, Let me first say I love your work. Nice clear colours, great expressions. There's no reason you should list for less than 9.99. Now as for your bigger question, what to do with a bidder with whom you're not comfortable. I've made several good friends by selling to them on eBay and I like to treat my good customers well. There's no reason why you should have to wait for a long time to get paid. The way to make this clear is to put a line in your listing like "Please pay within X number of days of end of auction." Then at the end of that number of days, you can email the buyer and politely ask them to pay. You can also mention that if the item is paid for, you'd be willing to hold it for up to Y number of days so customers can take advantage of multiple item shipping discount. And if anyone emails you and asks for special favours, whatever they may be, you are perfectly within your rights to say "no" without feeling guilty or having to offer an explanation. If it makes you feel better, you can always give an explanation of why you can't do it (like, "sorry, that wouldn't be fair to the other bidder."). You apparently did this person a favour by letting her have her first purchases for a special price, but that excuse has now run out. You are only a 'doormat' if you allow yourself to be one. Be clear about your terms in your listing, and (politely) stick by them. If you need to borrow my whip and chair, just let me know. 🙂

[poozybear]

LOL. The word style doesn't work on these boards. Don't worry about that one. As for your buyer . . . I've never had an obsessive buyer, but years ago did have a fellow seller who wanted to be my best friend. She was selling similar items (not art), and emailed me one day with a question. She was a young widow, lonely, had nothing but eBay. One email led to another, her wanting to be my buddy, emailing me 10 times a day, sending me photos of herself and her husband, and so on. I blame myself, because I felt sorry for her and didn't know how to say no. Long story short, I finally just stopped replying to her emails. It just got way, WAY out of hand. I DID feel sorry for her being so lonely, but she needed to get a life and I wanted mine back. She eventually got the message and went away. As for your buyer, that's a tougher situation since she's bringing you sales. I would say that raising your prices was the smart thing to do. In fact, if you're selling at that price, you might consider going a few dollars higher. If she says she misses your art, or asks about pricing, tell her straight up that you're a trained artist who needs to be compensated fairly for your work. If you cave into her at all she's going to keep hounding you. I wouldn't block her, but distance yourself. Don't reply to her emails if she's just wanting to chat. As I've found with people like this, once you engage them, they'll cling to you. I think you need to slowly pull away and create some distance. She'll eventually (hopefully) find a new best buddy. There's my long winded two cents, for what it's worth. ;) -- Kathy -- Edited by poozybear at 10/03/2008 9:13 PM PDT

[poozybear]

Oh, wow, Anne. I just looked at your work. It's wonderful. You should NEVER ask less than $9.99 for art that lovely. I also recognize many of your buyers and can tell you that some are "regulars," . . . cat collectors who will go higher than your starting price. Knowing that, you might want to try listing with BIN price. If you're happy with a starting price of $9.99, try that with a BIN of $14.99. Odds are that one of those buyers will use the BIN. This shuts your problem buyer out, especially if you use "Immediate Payment Required" on the BIN. Just a thought. If that doesn't work, there's always Karen's whip. ;) -- Kathy

[october*moon]

Awwww...Kathy and Karen...thank you so much for your kind words! (What was that Mark Twain said about a good compliment?...that he could go a month or so on one?...:) ~I'm like that!) And thank you for listening to me "vent"! Karen, yes, that is what this lady does to me...maybe not quite as obsessively, but plenty!...it got to be like a "between friends" thing, and not a business transaction (from her point of view)...I also sent her Mom little "get well" cards, so I guess I fueled the fire... Karen...the white kitty on your Me page...is he/she "getting" your ear?...My cat Artie started that when he was just a baby, "nursing" our earlobes, and still wants to do it when stressed! (He's six now, and BIG...it looks so funny!) Please keep your whip and chair at the ready! Oh, and that is so funny about that word! LOL..It looked like I was talking about my dad-gum blankety-blank s-t-y-l-e! Hee hee...;) Thanks again... Anne

[sunshinesketches]

Anne, the white kitty passed away two years ago, at the ripe old age of 18. He was my first-born, the first pet I ever had on my own and he was very special to me, that's why I can't bear to take his pic down. Yes, he "nursed" on my earlobes almost right to the end of his life. Some mornings I'd wake up with him attached to my ear. Silly, disgusting, and totally endearing. :) Forgot to mention, like Kathy I wouldn't block the person (after all, a buyer is a buyer) but let them pay fair market value for your beautiful work.

[artistjillian]

I'm sure the advice the others have given is fine. List your work at $9.99 for sure. If she says anything just say, I have some financial obligations, ebay fees, increased costs etc. as well as other buyers willing to pay the more appropriate price for my work. If she says something to you about this put her on 'blocked' - especially if she tries to run up a tab again - and don't look back, don't read her emails or answer them. -- ~Jillian artist, Jillian Crider ... google me!

[elfwitchcom]

I say raise them to 14.99! And when she whines about missing your art, just smile brightly and tell her it's still being listed on ebay and she can still find it! The pricing will send her on her way if she's looking for a cheap thing. But if she truly loves your work, then she will pay the price you set. For all you know, she's buying your work at 5 bucks and then turning around and selling it a shop for 15-20! One thing I've learned ... don't believe everything you are told online. You will have folks SWEAR you are their best friend and then turn around and totally tar and feather you while you are sitting there with your mouth hanging open because you were fully blindsided by them. A "friend" doesn't want a deal - they want you to get what it's worth. I don't want a "friend" discount, I'm honored to own a friend's art and know hey my friend made that! If my artist friends decide to grant me a gift of their work, that is nice, but it's never expected or asked for by me. I smell someone trying to play you. Just how it comes across to me. -- ~Faerydae Click to grow: -- Edited by elfwitchshop at 10/05/2008 3:08 AM PDT