When a buyer says...

[rei-npkrlma]

When pushing for their freebie via a refund w/o having to send item back....

[insert whine, whine, whine,  sniveling about any and everything they can think of as in "me thinks thou protests too much]

Then,  the BIG one they're leading up to: "I'll reserve feedback - for now."

Doesn't that sound like a veiled threat, as in feedback extortion? I think it does. eBay's heavily accented rep tells me no, nothing I can do.

Surely I can't be the only one who's had this issue, or similar veiled feedback threats - why even bring up feedback? I never do and thankfully I don't get this often, but every time it happens the first thing  I feel is backed into a corner with a dreaded fear of that ugly red neg dot I work my tail off to avoid and that leaves a sick, helpless feeling in the pit of my gut.

I just refund when they're extorting me like this (that's what it is to me, anyway) and block them to get them off my back. Then I suck it up and apologize for so much grief I caused them but then I feel like a phony and a liar because inside I'm really sorry for myself losing money! That darned free shipping costs more than I earn on  the item for pity sakes.

Oops, didn't mean to get long-winded and vent but this has happened to me about 3 times in the last few months and I feel like a gun is being held to my head every time and I don't care for that. eBay says feedback extortion won't be tolerated, yet something vieled like this they just overlook...

How do you deal with this when it comes up? Thanks . 😕

[ersatz_sobriquet]

I have never given in to this kind of extortion. 3 times in the last few months? Sounds like they are telling their friends you are an easy target. Why wouldn't they huh? 

Cut it out. Stop rewarding this behavior. Maybe their friends will go away and find a new target. 

[doubledz-a2z]

A phenomenon that many sellers created here on ebay.  Partial Refund to save feedback.   What a Shame.

[holycowsincanada2011]

---

@rei-npkrlma wrote:

I just refund when they're extorting me like this (that's what it is to me, anyway) and block them to get them off my back.

The right thing to do!

Then I suck it up and apologize for so much grief I caused them but then I feel like a phony and a liar because inside I'm really sorry for myself losing money! 

Not required at all!

---

[takikawa4]

Why not just say return for a full refund? I don't get why you're doing partial refunds and then complaining about it.

[tellmemama]

So you're rewarding their terrible behavior and veiled threats of feedback extortion by refunding and letting them keep the item to "get them off your back?  Well thanks so very much for that.  You enable them to keep doing this to other sellers instead of taking care of the problem in the first place.

"I'm sorry you are disappointed with your item.  Please return for a full refund."  Either they will or they won't but unless you are in the giveaway business, you will either keep the money or get the item back.  Just like any other business on earth.

The majority of these fishing for a partial will never be heard from again.

[rei-npkrlma]

"I have never given in to this kind of extortion. 3 times in the last few months? Sounds like they are telling their friends you are an easy target. Why wouldn't they huh? "

Yes, I believe you nailed that one - had one of the last 3 one day apart, same last name just different address in the same state, neighboring cities. Didn't take rocket science to figure that one out. "Hey jane doe - got a sucker here, just gripe, whine and mention feedback and you'll scare her into getting a total freebie!!!"

GAWD!!!

Anyway, if you don't mind my asking, what do you do in these situations? The one that I did insist on a return on immediately left me angry neg feedback simply because I wanted him to send it back before I gave him his money back.

[rei-npkrlma]

Because the first time I did that the guy got all **bleep** with me, very angry and ran right to the feedback and libeled and defamed me as a seller for all the world to see. I told eBay libel and defamation are against the law, and that I was threatened with feedback extortion, to just look at his messages but the very-difficult-to-understand rep wasn't going to budge and said the buyer can say what s/he wants to say, I can only rebut with a response in the feedback. I did that, but it didn't help. So after that, wanting to avoid a situation like this, I just started refunding.

[rei-npkrlma]

Well, I certainly didn't see it as rewarding them, but I sure do see what you're saying there and will take a deep breath and do that next time. I did have one the other day that was able to be reasoned with and he is sending the item back at his own expense.

It seems to depend on the type of person - some are good but you get these that have that angry, "I'm going to get this free no matter what it takes" types and those I'm having a tough time dealing with.

Maybe it's time I work on not allowing those red negs to make me feel ill...

Thank you, very much, for your feedback. I'm really struggling with just how to handle this one. It's clear eBay isn't going to help so I'm not turning to them anymore. Besides, I can't understand the reps 99 percent of the time anyway.

[ersatz_sobriquet]

---

@rei-npkrlma wrote:

Maybe it's time I work on not allowing those red negs to make me feel ill...

---

There you go. Right after you block those family members in that state, start thinking about that they may have friends all over the country as well as 60 relatives. 

Unless you are selling faulty product, it's time to only respond with these words "please return for refund". 

[penguins_dont_fly]

"Feedback Extortion":

https://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/feedback-extortion.html

What are the guidelines?

Not allowed

Examples of Feedback extortion The buyer can't threaten to leave negative Feedback or low detailed seller ratings if the seller won't: Accept a return and pay for return shipping if not covered by the original listing or eBay Money Back Guarantee. Give a full or partial refund for an item if not covered by the original listing or eBay Money Back Guarantee.

http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/defect-removal.html

We automatically remove defects, adjust your late shipment rate, and remove feedback when:

We take action against a buyer for violating the Buying Practices policy.

-----

1) Report the buyer

2) Call eBay to have the feedback removed.

In the future:

"We are sorry that you are unhappy with the Item. Please return it for a full refund"

[cb-boards]

With all due respect I think you are missing the point.  The buyer is not, as defined by eBay, make any threat whatsoever.  Of course in the real world a 3rd grader can read between the lines and see that this is extortion.  But we operate in eBay's world and there are thousands and thousands of buyers out there who realize how simple it is to "get free stuff" without crossing the proverbial line where it becomes an actionable offense.  

[ersatz_sobriquet]

Far too many sellers are push-overs. Got to grow spines, suck it up buttercups.....we're talking money here! 

[rei-npkrlma]

Lol - indeed! I can tell you're an experienced, seasoned seller. I've gotten much better, but have a ways to go.

I appreciate your feedback very much and that of everyone else, too. I want to just say "send it back for refund" but that one that went right to the feedback and was far meaner than he had to be left me scared. I offered to pay the return shipping, the whole nine yards. I called eBay for help with that feedback and told them the whole story, to look at my offer, his insults and veiled threats and the whole phone call was in vain. eBay wouldn't budge to help me out, just said I could leave a response to the buyer's feedback so I did that and said "SELLERS BEWARE".

[cb-boards]

Yes and no.   There is a certain price point at which it just isn't worth it.  If a buyer is trying to scam me over a $9 item, then as much as I hate it, I will generally let them get away with it.  If it is a $120 item then I will fight back!