What the best way to offer combined shipping to buyers?

[bench-q]

I've had two buyers over the past several months request combined shipping, which I'm more than happy to oblige. What I did in both cases was simply refund the shipping on one of the items. I know there's a Request total from seller option, but I've never used it and don't know if there are any pitfalls with that option.

Which combined shipping option do most of you use, and are there pros and cons which each?

Thank you!

[ajs_coins_and_alchemy]

I guess one kinda important question here is, do you buy your labels online or at the retail counter? Do you know your final shipping cost before the transaction is complete? Or do you approximate shipping and then only know your shipping once it has been shipped/paid?

(I know some people don't ship a lot and just rely on the post office to tell them the final cost...that's why I ask...)

[bench-q]

I use flat rate only, and buy shipping through ebay and print the generated labels. So I know exactly what the shipping costs are - no surprises. I want to make combined shipping as easy for the buyer as I can, without them having to worry about shipping costs prior to buying.

For Shipping Preferences under "Allow combined payments and shipping," I have set the Flate rate shipping rule to subtract a set amount, but I can't find where, when or how that rule is initiated. It's doesnt seem to do anything. And combined payments are specified.

[ajs_coins_and_alchemy]

Ahh, ok, gotcha.

As far as the actual combined shipping system offered by EBay, I have absolutely no clue.

I have never used it because I hear/see too many headaches. I prefer manually doing things. What I used to do and still do on occasion when needed, is just either adjust shipping price in the listing or reduce the item price to give the effective discount (when i charge shipping). Of course these have their own issues in terms of potential returns etc and accounting for shipping vs item cost.

However, I offer free shipping across the board on most of my listings because what you're describing is such a huge headache to me, I decided to avoid it all together.

I was thinking you were asking for other work arounds instead of refunding the difference. Those are what I'm better help with. 

My philosophy is I rather control my money and sales as much as possible, EBay has enough glitches that I just want them to transfer the payment and that's it, staying out of the pricing/shipping and accepting of offers and such.

(No I'm not one of those people who is anti-technology, and I'm a millenial so I'm not generally untrusting of tech).