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Promotion Sales With Immediate Start 'Processing' for 6 hours

I feel like we're helpless out here at times. I had advice the other day from an Ebay call center gentleman (in India?) and he advised me to let a buyer file a case on a return that wasn't going well, then when I get a defect, appeal it and I'll win.  Even I know that is SERIOUSLY bad advice.

Now, I have immediate-started 2 promotion sales - 6 HOURS AGO, and they are still processing. 

Oh, and have been forced in Managed Payments, learned international sales may have problems, and some/many costs might be HIGHER on sales.

Shopify has terrible SEO. Google and Facebook ads have negative ROI by almost x3 for small sellers. Internet failing as a sales platform for all but the 1%? What's next? 

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