Mistake and moving forward

[ricecakesaks]

Hi all, hope you had a nice Christmas if you celebrate it.

I’ve had a challenging situation and would appreciate your thoughts. A buyer made an offer in an item and I accepted without noticing a request in the offer to send via Royal Mail (the listing only had evri as an option).
Not realising, I sent the order the same morning by evri and received a fairly abrupt message saying we agreed on Royal Mail and that evri do not give accurate and small delivery windows so the delivery was going to be a problem, if it arrived at all. I assume the buyer has had a negative experience of evri. 
I apologised and asked if I had missed something. This is where they told me about their request. Again I apologised and said that I had learned a lesson. I also said that in future purchases it might help both parties if they send a full message so sellers don’t miss their request as I did. Offers that are accepted vanish, and I have no record of the request (which granted, I missed in the first place).

I said that I had faith in the item arriving and when it did I would gladly accept a return.
The buyer took this as me being patronising and rude. I could tell they were angry. They said they will not accept the item after being spoken in such a way. I genuinely cannot see any rudeness in any of my correspondence. I’d be happy to post our full convo but obviously won’t.

The item was successfully delivered ahead of time, and has been immediately sent back to me. I will refund as soon as it arrives.

Should I refund the buyer for the return postage? I happily accept I made a mistake, but the buyer’s approach is difficult to swallow. The item made it safely in good time. They only paid the evri price which is less than RM’s. 
I am certain I will be receiving negative feedback no matter what I do. 

Thanks for reading!

[mr_lincoln · Accepted solution]

Hi @ricecakesaks 

You have inadvertently landed on the US Community so here is a link to the UK Community for your convenience.

Home - UK eBay Community

Here in the US eBay is crystal clear on the fact that Offers NEVER INCLUDE SHIPPING.  Shipping is always based on the listing. Some Buyers send their little notes but they are meaningless when it comes to shipping.  I suspect it is similar there in the UK but it makes sense to ask your community who deal with it all the time.

[ittybitnot]

@ricecakesaks   

I don't know if it is the same in the UK, but offers sent by buyers in the US are typically for the ITEM PRICE ONLY, with the shipping terms remaining as stated.  

Since they apparently declined the product (i.e. return to sender) you would not be obligated to refund anything per se, but the item price should suffice if you get it back. 

[albertabrightalberta]

In addition to the comments above, the buyer also violated policy by making a demand (changing the shipping method) from what was listed in the listing.

Buyers should make requests of sellers prior to purchasing to see if a seller is willing to make the change. 

You didn't do anything wrong; it's the buyer who was wrong. 

Technically, if the buyer refuses the item and RTS (return to sender), they lose the moneyback guarantee and you aren't obligated to issue a refund. 

However I feel that if and when you get the item back, you should retain whatever amount makes you whole (initial shipping, return shipping if charged) and refund the difference.

And don't forget to at the buyer to your BBL (blocked bidder list).