However, there really is no way of knowing if the buyer is truthful or not.
Oh, lol, not true! You can if you wish contact the USPS and get the GPS coordinates (address) of where the package was scanned as delivered. If that address matches the address on the order then the seller has met their obligation. In that case, buyer needs to check with neighbors or housemates to see if someone else snatched the package for you. Otherwise the buyer is victim of porch piracy and that is not your nor eBay's fault nor concern. But you are not required to make such checks, the buyer would have to do this to be successful with an INR appeal.
Also, with profits already so minimal, I can't afford to refund all these people. What do you do in such instances?
Returns, refunds are one of the places where new sellers fail to plan and which causes many to get upset and quit as they are failing. Standard advice I give on returns/refunds is this tome....
First hard lesson I had to learn when I started selling was that returns are a part of retail selling. I use to have a 'no returns' policy and avoid the whole issue. Then a few buyers claimed 'not as described' (NAD) and I stood on my principles with the 'no returns' policy. I ended up getting run over by eBay's Money Back Guarantee (MBG). That meant eBay just refunded the buyer from my funds and didn't require them to return the item - I got hit with a MAXIMUM LOSS! Oh I came on these threads and screamed and yelled and boy did I scream. Eventually a few patient and persistent posters knocked the stubborn out of me.
I eventually came to accept that rightly or wrongly, returns are just part of retail selling. After I accepted this I also figured out that when a return 'happens' that the seller was going to lose money and how much money I lost depended on what actions I take or didn't take. So this became a 'business problem', something to solve. It also meant I had to change my thinking and not take returns personally - just a problem looking for a solution.
So eventually I was able to get a plan in place, thanks to the posters here. This did a few things for me - took away the shock of returns as now I had a plan in place and knew what to do - just work the plan! Next I learned to have financial backing so that the 'economic shock' of returns was eliminated. So here is what I came up with as a plan for returns.
• Acceptance of the fact that rightly or wrongly returns are part of retail selling
• Fixed my listings- Write descriptions like there were no pictures & Photograph as if there was no description
• Read the MBG to understand my responsibilities as a seller on eBay for when returns happen
• Tax each sale by 5% and set aside the funds as a self insurance fund - when returns happen I had money to pay
• Never assume any money from a sale is "mine" to spend until 31-days after delivery scan - allows for MBG protections to expire.
• Learn techniques to use to head off scams if they appear to be happening
• Understand what to do when fraud happens, techniques that often get me made whole.
So once I implemented all of that, a return was nothing more than a nuisance - just work the plan. No need to get upset or emotional just follow the steps and minimize loss. The part was HARD for me, but I got there! With the self insurance fund, there was no panic, because I had monies set aside to pay for return shipping or make up for losses. As I started, I had to set aside 100% of the profits from the first few sales to build up the Fund. After that the rest is gravy.
So that is how I reconciled with the MBG and returns and kept selling here. Perhaps some of that would work for you?
Best wishes with your selling!
