Rude buyer. Am I in the wrong here?

[williaart2]

So I recently sold an item. Keep in mind that Im not an experienced seller. I just post the occasional DVD or video game if i need to clear some space or need a little extra money. Anyway,  here's what happened.

It was a seven day auction where the buyer won the auction when he placed a bid for the item at the last minute. When the auction ended, I immediately sent an invoice of the total amount to be paid to the buyer. I didn't hear anything back at all by the next evening, so I sent another payment reminder. Another day goes by, still no word whatsoever. I sent a message to the buyer asking if he was planning on paying for the item. If he didn't want it, I could cancel it so that I could relist the item and sell it to someone else who might want it.  The next morning, I finally hear back from the buyer saying I'm being rude and he has never experienced someone being someone being so pushy. He said he was just waiting to see if I posted more items for sale before he paid. I didn't respond back as I didn't see this communication going anywhere good so I just quietly shipped the item. 

I don't have a problem with people waiting to paid, but in that entire time I never received any kind of word from the buyer about this or even when to expect payment. It certainly wasn't my intention to come off as rude or pushy. I've dealt with some bad buyers in my short time on ebay who never paid for the items they buy. 

I understand that buyers have a three day window in which they can pay for something. I guess my problem is just the lack of communication by the buyer and the fact that I am now made to feel as if I did something wrong. Again, I'm fairly new to ebay so I'm not sure about proper ebay etiquette.

[nobody*s_perfect]

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@williaart2 wrote:

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 .... When the auction ended, I immediately sent an invoice of the total amount to be paid to the buyer. I didn't hear anything back at all by the next evening, so I sent another payment reminder. Another day goes by, still no word whatsoever. I sent a message to the buyer asking if he was planning on paying for the item. If he didn't want it, I could cancel it ....  It certainly wasn't my intention to come off as rude or pushy.

And yet 3 communications from you in 2 days did come across that way. Most sellers would not have sent anything at all.  Also, eBay sends a payment reminder if the buyer doesn't pay within 48 hours.

The buyer might have misunderstood the tone of your "Pay now or tell me you're not going to pay so I can move on" when his intention was to pay later if he bought more. Yes, he could have let you know that.  But you could have given him the benefit of the doubt.

When a buyer doesn't pay, you should NOT cancel the transaction.  Nonpayment is not a valid reason for canceling a transaction , so that cancellation  can get you a defect point on your account.  Instead, you should file an unpaid item claim.

[castlemagicmemories]

Actually the window is 48 hrs as that is the point where Ebay allows you to open an Unpaid Item Dispute.  BUT that does NOT mean the window closes then.  You can't close the dispute until 96 hours LATER.  That is the true window.  Not three days as you think.  

You can google anything you are not sure about.

Ebay send a message to the buyer asking for payment, and unless more than one item is purchased, you don't need to send an invoice.  Buyer just pays from the pay now button on the ended listing.  If you buy, you see that immediately at the end of the listing.  

So you sent an invoice immediately, then a reminder at the end of that day, then another reminder.  All in two days!  You say you don't have a problem with people waiting to pay but your actions indicate something entirely different.

Redundant, excessive.  I can understand why it would come across that way to a buyer.  If it was on the weekend, many aren't at their computers or don't access Ebay during that time.  I'm sorry but I do think you were a bit out of line.

But of course, your call.  Unfortunately, you might have had more business here with a bit of patience, but that is gone now.  But take heart, the buyer may just have said that in a fit of pique and didn't really mean it. 

It doesn't really have anything to do with being new to Ebay, in my opinion.  Just put yourself in the shoes of the buyer and think, is this overkill?  Am I sending too many emails or expecting too much?  Do two days really warrant all this communication?  What will the buyer think?  

Please be kind to yourself.  If you really can't adjust to a buyer not paying immediately, then list using fixed price, immediate payment required, and you won't have this problem.  

Good Luck.

[lintbrush*]

With auctions especially, I don't bug the customer for at least 2 days.

I'm the one who set the auction end time, and while they may be the winner, they may not be around right then and there.

As far an invoicing - unless you are giving a combined shipping discount, don't invoice.  eBay already sends them a "you've won now pay" notice right after the win.  eBay sent two messages, you sent two invoices and a message - yeah, that's a lot.

However, the buyer could've responded, but you didn't send an actual message for 2 days and the responded the next morning.  You probably wrote too much - Are you planning on paying?  I could cancel if you don't want it and then relist and someone else can buy it.  You need to keep it simple and professional.  

36-48 hours after a win I send something like this - 

Dear buyer,

Thank you for your winning bid.  The xx you won on xx, xx is packed and ready to ship as soon as payment is received.   If there is going to be any further delay, please let me know.

That's all.   Then 24 hours after that message if I don't hear back, I start the unpaid process.

[epowerbargains]

Perfect, Kind, Spot-on answer!!!!!

[castlemagicmemories]

Ran out of edit time.

Be kind to yourself and to YOUR BUYER.  Buyers who are mistreated may leave Ebay for good.  That hurts you and other sellers as well.  

[judydu2]

Pushy, rude, AND desperate.  The invoice, while sent rather too quickly (IMO) would have been enough. There is a place on the invoice for messages and to notate you have finished listing your auctions might make you feel better and it will let your customer know you will not be listing anything else soon. And then relax a little. One thing for sure is that should this customer have truly wanted to buy more from you, they have most certainly written you off now.

[castlemagicmemories]

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@epowerbargains wrote:

Perfect, Kind, Spot-on answer!!!!!

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Well, thank you very much!

[18704d]

So you shipped the item before he paid?

?

Lynn

[castlemagicmemories]

It seems so.

I wonder why everyone sees rudeness in someone else but not themselves.

No offense to the OP, this happens all the time.  Seller was rude (but they weren't)  buyer was rude ( and they weren't).  Posters are rude because they challenge your absolute statement which their experiences and that of others show is incorrect.  And patience is a virtue sadly lacking overall.  

[estjoh-2]

Am I in the wrong here?
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YES!

[goodluckselling]

I understand you mentioned you do not sell regularly.  When a buyer wins an auction eBay sends them an invoice automatically.  You the seller do not have to do this.  eBay will also send them reminders to pay as well.  Again you do not have to do this, eBay will do it for you.

I guess a kinder approach in communications to a buyer would be a good lesson?  Instead of asking if they are going to pay or not, maybe ask them is there anything else I can help you with for this order?

You should never ship something until you are paid and verified in your paypal account.  In fact since you rarely sell I would always just print your shipping label in Paypal from the payment options.

Anytime a buyer does not pay, you should be opening an unpaid item dispute and follow the guidelines for closing it 4 days later.  This process will credit your fees back to you and also put a mark on the buyers account that could prevent them from purchasing from millions of sellers based on the sellers buyer requirement settings.

Good Luck Selling!

[equid0x]

"He said he was just waiting to see if I posted more items for sale before he paid."

Yeah, right. Sounds like a non-payer to me. I don't see anything wrong with sending an invoice, or following up on payment. Payment is due at completion of the auction just like every auction everywhere on the face of the earth. eBay terms give him 48 hours to pay. If(when) he doesn't pay, file an unpaid item dispute.

The advice given above, that the system does send this info out automatically, is true, so you didn't really need to do that. IMHO that just makes things look worse for the buyer, since they would have gotten the "you won" e-mail with a link to make a payment, already. 

Virtually every auction I've ever run with a winning bidder, the item was paid the same day, if not immediately following the auction. The ones who stall typically don't pay. 

Also, don't ever ship an item until you've received payment. If you've shipped it and he now doesn't pay, there may be no way for you to get the money from him without taking him to court. 

[mopata]

My policy - Ebay sends a reminder 2 days after the sale so, I send a polite message on Day 3. If there is no response, I open a not paid case on Day 5. If there is no response by the deadline to close the case, I close the case, cancel the transaction, block the bidder and get on with my life.

[e1bay1junkie]

Set up the automatic feature for non-payment:  eBay's Unpaid Item Assistant.  eBay sends out a reminder to the buyer.  Personally, I have mine set to wait 8 days to open a case for non-payment.  If the case closes without payment received, the buyer gets a non-payment on their record and you'll get your final value fees back and can relist your item.

https://pages.ebay.com/cl/en-us/sell/UPI/upiassistant/index.html#preferences