Merry Xmas Eve with gender discrimination from a buyer

[2013fitzp]

Buyer claims item not described. After being called man and dude, I let them know I was a woman. Here is the response.  Lovely, on Xmas Eve, too. 

[adlo779]

Why did you get in to a verbal sparring match? Your reply should have been "I'm terribly sorry you're not happy with your item. Please return for a full refund."

[2013fitzp]

because I'm not going to allow someone to call me dude and man. So this is my fault?  thanks. You've missed the boat completely

[adlo779]

some people call everyone dude. Being rude because the buyer was rude and called you dude was uncalled for.

[2013fitzp]

Wow!! Not going to tolerate it, Dude!!  I'm not remving anything, but disrespect from men. You might want to edit your reply to me, I'm not an easy target. 

[cubano4u]

You really need to calm down, you have taken this as a personal offense and it's not. Your reply to adlo779 was rather rude as well as your initial reply to the guy who called you dude. As you said, it's Christmas Eve, fill your heart with the warmth of the spirit and relax more.

This is social media. On social media one doesn't know if they are in fact speaking to a male or female. Millenials have taken to calling people dude, not because they presume everyone is a male. It's an easier name for them to use- again nothing personal in that. I don't agree with the use of dude, but I understand why they use it.

It seems like perhaps your item wasn't as described. I don't know myself as I haven't seen your listing or the item- I'm stating that based on buyer's response to you. A simple apology from you would have sufficed. I don't understand why he is saying you have a **bleep** attitude since this is all you've posted. Seems you'd had an exchange prior to this?

Please realize I'm not saying the buyer was correct in referring to you with dude, I'm saying this is very typical and expected of the younger generation. That is a target audience for this type of sale. Becoming familiar with a little bit of online lingo may help you.

You'll survive this buyer's negative if you are very careful with your reply, that is if you decide to post a response to any neg FB. Please keep in mind, you've blocked this buyer so he won't ever buy from you again. The only people who will look at his comments are new and potential customers to you. If you leave it alone or post a combative response then you will only be harming yourself. You won't be punishing the buyer in any way. It's not worth it to your reputation to post a snotty remark. It may bite you back....

Best of luck to you and Merry Christmas....

[2013fitzp]

I am stunned. People are rude to me, and I take it? And be laughed at because I am a woman? Perhaps this is 1950, and when I wake it will be 2018.... I for one am not going to sit back and take verbal abuse from anyone. No excuses for their age.  Oddly, eBay agreed with me.... yet you all don't. That's a first....

[totoro470]

I can see how you'd get annoyed by this buyer but I agree, it's usually best to take a few minutes before responding to people like this. Think about what will come of the situation, whether being aggravated is going to get you anything. The more negative you go the more negative the buyer will be. The inverse is also true- the more compassionate you are the better the buyer will often act. I've turned many aggravated buyers into friends by simply apologizing, even when they're dead wrong. 

It's all up to you though, you can argue if you want but just know it will often result in more negative feedback. 

[fern*wood]

If I did mess up, I'd rather they call me a dude.

[cubano4u]

These are choices we make as individuals. You perceived the buyer referring to you with dude as if he was saying you are an actual dude, I say that based on your repeated saying you are a woman. To you that was rude and abusive. That's how you perceived it. That's going to cause you a lot of heartache in your life so I wish you well in working on that for your own peace of mind moving forward.
I said I didn't agree with what he wrote but again you are inferring what you want, and mainly out of anger. All I'm saying in response to your post is- two wrongs don't make a right.
If you learn to move along for minor things or come back with a gentler response, you'll find you can turn people around much easier to your liking. That's all. No insult given or intended.
Best of luck to you....

[18704d]

"Oddly, eBay agreed with me.... yet you all don't. That's a first...."

----------

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I believe several of the replies to you on this board,

don't meet eBay's Community standards.

I'm sorry,

Lynn

[reallynicestamps]

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

[dirk12955]

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@2013fitzp wrote:

Buyer claims item not described. After being called man and dude, I let them know I was a woman. Here is the response.  Lovely, on Xmas Eve, too. 

---

Personally,   I've been called worse.

My 17 yr old daughter and her friends call each other "Dude" all the time.   Not a Big deal.

And way down on the list of things to get offended over.       

[little.font.lord.leroy]

1. a buyer claimed a SNAD return.
2. in the claim they referred to you as man and dude. like "I want my money back, dude" idk.
3. You were offended and replied, "I am a woman, thank you very much" or some such?
4. Buyer then referred to you as "eve".
5. You are now perplexed or upset or insulted or offended or all the above. Idk.
6. Because why?

[hillbillymedia]

I could never get bent out of shape for something a stranger calls me. Sticks and stones....