Seller won't send purchase to mail forwarding address

[rodericedga_0]

I'm a UK bidder who recently bought an item being sold in the US under a 'buy it now' option.

The seller wasn't shipping outside the US, but I'd learned of mail forwarding companies and opened an account - giving that as the address where the item should go.

My item didn't ship, and the seller (with a good trading rating) then altered the listings for the remaining stock in the listing, increasing the number available back to what it was and stating they would only ship to home addresses. I realised from this that the seller perhaps feared I was a scammer, so I got in touch via eBay messaging to explain I was genuine, apologise for any concern I'd caused, and to offer to request to cancel the order.

The seller seemed friendly enough, but was initially still suspicious. However, he has now stated that he will ship the item to me in the UK, has asked for my address, and will let me know if shipping ends up beyond what I've seen as being likely.

But while I was willing to take a chance on the mail forwarding, I'm dubious about committing more money beyond my initial expenditure. I also don't see how this would be possible without contravening eBay's rules on trading outside their system.

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

The original item itself is protected under eBay's guarantee.

The question now is how we extricate ourselves from this situation. Any ideas?

[castlemagicmemories]

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@rodericedga_0wrote:

Have you

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

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Have you actually read the thread? I've invited the seller to cancel the order, but he hasn't. Instead, the seller is encouraging *me* to allow him to ship to me directly at extra cost, which I'm a little wary about.

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With all due respect,  while I am not chrysylys, I read the thread, and while you initially suggested cancelling the order, you later said this:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

This later info in your post makes one think you were pursuing the purchase, as you qualified the cancel by adding relisting so you can buy that.

[castlemagicmemories]

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

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You've gotten so stuck on the forwarding address issue that you don't agree with that you haven't even read what the op has Said apparently.   The buyer said they would cancel.  Seller offered to ship directly to the buyer. The buyer is worried about buyer protection since changes cost and address from original purchase 

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OP said this after they said they would cancel:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

So cancel was not a straight out cancel but was coupled with a request to relist as the OP specified.  Op was still pursuing the purchase.

[rodericedga_0]

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@newnewnewmannwrote:

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@rodericedga_0wrote:

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"First off, shipping to a mail forwarding company is not shipping outwith the US - it's shipping to a mail forwarding company in the US."

 It is if you are using the service to forward the item to your UK address. If that is the intent, that's what it is.

Why does this matter?

-If a seller unwittingly ships to a service that is forwarding international, it can significantly complicate returns and exchanges, they lose control over the shipment method, the item may be broken or stolen when repackaging, and packing materials used could be flimsy, it can lead to difficulty and frustrations with eBay dispute resolution and buyer/seller protection.

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I'll quote you back what I told you earlier...

"First off, shipping to a mail forwarding company is not shipping outwith the US - it's shipping to a mail forwarding company in the US. What happens beyond that point is down to me, and I was quite prepared to take the risk of it going wrong and nothing turning up."

As I said, if something had gone wrong with the order I was quite prepared to write it off as a failed, one-off experiment and walk away, with no comeback on the seller.

[missjen831]

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@newnewnewmannwrote:

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@rodericedga_0wrote:

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"First off, shipping to a mail forwarding company is not shipping outwith the US - it's shipping to a mail forwarding company in the US."

 It is if you are using the service to forward the item to your UK address. If that is the intent, that's what it is.

Why does this matter?

-If a seller unwittingly ships to a service that is forwarding international, it can significantly complicate returns and exchanges, they lose control over the shipment method, the item may be broken or stolen when repackaging, and packing materials used could be flimsy, it can lead to difficulty and frustrations with eBay dispute resolution and buyer/seller protection.

It's the sellers choice. But they should know.  I don't sell internationally either as a rule, but if a buyer asks, I will. I like transparency.

If you sent a request to cancel then I'm sure you're correct that they are entertaining a sale at this point. If so, the seller should send you a shipping quote to your home address and you agree to it.

Good luck

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No. none of that is the sellers problem and the money back back is void when the item is reshipped. Ebay is very good at enforcing this clause. This was a domestic transaction as far as the seller was concerned.

[rodericedga_0]

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

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You've gotten so stuck on the forwarding address issue that you don't agree with that you haven't even read what the op has Said apparently.   The buyer said they would cancel.  Seller offered to ship directly to the buyer. The buyer is worried about buyer protection since changes cost and address from original purchase 

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OP said this after they said they would cancel:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

So cancel was not a straight out cancel but was coupled with a request to relist as the OP specified.  Op was still pursuing the purchase.

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Nope - you're just making up your own fantasy now because you want to buy into it.

As I've consistently said, I contacted the seller to apologise for causing concern and assure it was a genuine act, and I sent him a cancellation request. 

The seller didn't cancel, asked me for more info, and it's him who started floating the idea of shipping to me direct and charging extra postage. Concerned about contravening eBay rules, it was only THEN that I suggested he list one copy of the item separately with international shipping so that we're both covered under the final terms of the sale and clearly staying within the rules.

[gistj]

I have not had any issues with shipping items to a freight forwarder address, as long as it shows "Eligible for Seller Protection" on the shipping page. At least one item per month last year. Where it goes after that is not my problem. Not sure why so many sellers freak out about this situation.

[jrinam]

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@newnewnewmannwrote:

It's the sellers choice. But they should know.  I don't sell internationally either as a rule, but if a buyer asks, I will. I like transparency.

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if i purchased one of your items and took it on vacation out of the country, would i still need your approval first? is that as long as i own the item or limited to xx many years? if i resold or gifted it, do i need to get your permission and forward new owners information, include your u.s. only policy in the sales/ownership agreement? if the said item became damaged and i decided to dispose of it, is that allowed? any special forms for approval and is it then removed from your registry? proof of disposal in a u.s. landfill of course!

[castlemagicmemories]

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@rodericedga_0wrote:

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

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You've gotten so stuck on the forwarding address issue that you don't agree with that you haven't even read what the op has Said apparently.   The buyer said they would cancel.  Seller offered to ship directly to the buyer. The buyer is worried about buyer protection since changes cost and address from original purchase 

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OP said this after they said they would cancel:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

So cancel was not a straight out cancel but was coupled with a request to relist as the OP specified.  Op was still pursuing the purchase.

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Nope - you're just making up your own fantasy now because you want to buy into it.

As I've consistently said, I contacted the seller to apologise for causing concern and assure it was a genuine act, and I sent him a cancellation request. 

The seller didn't cancel, asked me for more info, and it's him who started floating the idea of shipping to me direct and charging extra postage. Concerned about contravening eBay rules, it was only THEN that I suggested he list one copy of the item separately with international shipping so that we're both covered under the final terms of the sale and clearly staying within the rules.

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Sorry, OP, not a fantasy.  That was a direct quote from your OP.  He may have started the info exchange but you suggested this and did not reiterate you wanted a cancel.  IF you were concerned about breaking Ebay rules, you would not have responded with more info.   You would have stuck to your earlier request to cancel.  

IOW it takes two to tango, and that is what happened.  Either one of you could have sat down at the start.  I understand you wanted the item, but you did not stick to your request to cancel that you said initially.  

You would not be asking how to extricate yourself from this situation if you had been firm on your initial request to cancel, or had not sent more information to the seller after that request to cancel.  Since your question was how to get out of this situation at this point, you need to ask the seller politely if he would cancel.  

[rixstuff]

The forwarding services are also kinda dropping the ball in forwarding or getting to the right buyer in a timely manner and of course the buyers get angry at the SELLER not the middle man.

[rixstuff]

There are a great many Ebay sellers who wont do international shipping.  I do but I also insist on shipping it DIRECTLY to you using the USPS.

[castlemagicmemories]

OP:

You might try something like this:  I am very sorry for all the extra trouble, thank you for all your help, but I feel it best to request that you cancel this purchase as I had asked initially.  Again, very sorry.  

Seller would probably cancel for you then.  

[myangelandmyprincess]

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

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You've gotten so stuck on the forwarding address issue that you don't agree with that you haven't even read what the op has Said apparently.   The buyer said they would cancel.  Seller offered to ship directly to the buyer. The buyer is worried about buyer protection since changes cost and address from original purchase 

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OP said this after they said they would cancel:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

So cancel was not a straight out cancel but was coupled with a request to relist as the OP specified.  Op was still pursuing the purchase.

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What I gather from the Op was the OP asked to cancel straight up and apologized if they spooked the seller.  The seller then offered to ship it straight international.   The op then suggested if they wanted to do that they still needed to cancel, refund, and relist to start over with an international option. 

[myangelandmyprincess]

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@rodericedga_0wrote:

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

---

You've gotten so stuck on the forwarding address issue that you don't agree with that you haven't even read what the op has Said apparently.   The buyer said they would cancel.  Seller offered to ship directly to the buyer. The buyer is worried about buyer protection since changes cost and address from original purchase 

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OP said this after they said they would cancel:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

So cancel was not a straight out cancel but was coupled with a request to relist as the OP specified.  Op was still pursuing the purchase.

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Nope - you're just making up your own fantasy now because you want to buy into it.

As I've consistently said, I contacted the seller to apologise for causing concern and assure it was a genuine act, and I sent him a cancellation request. 

The seller didn't cancel, asked me for more info, and it's him who started floating the idea of shipping to me direct and charging extra postage. Concerned about contravening eBay rules, it was only THEN that I suggested he list one copy of the item separately with international shipping so that we're both covered under the final terms of the sale and clearly staying within the rules.

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Sorry, OP, not a fantasy.  That was a direct quote from your OP.  He may have started the info exchange but you suggested this and did not reiterate you wanted a cancel.  IF you were concerned about breaking Ebay rules, you would not have responded with more info.   You would have stuck to your earlier request to cancel.  

IOW it takes two to tango, and that is what happened.  Either one of you could have sat down at the start.  I understand you wanted the item, but you did not stick to your request to cancel that you said initially.  

You would not be asking how to extricate yourself from this situation if you had been firm on your initial request to cancel, or had not sent more information to the seller after that request to cancel.  Since your question was how to get out of this situation at this point, you need to ask the seller politely if he would cancel.  

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The seller is completely in the wrong and the OP the buyer is being very understanding. 

1.  The buyer offering a US shipping address made this a domestic transaction for the seller.  The seller would have no right to refuse to ship it to a US address.  What the OP has done is allowed and they understood they took the risk with their shipment past the forwarding address.

2.  Even still The OP understood if the seller was concerned about the forwarding address and said they would cancel.  

3. The seller then contacted the OP for more information and wanted to salvage the transaction themselves by offering to ship directly to the OP.  Which really the seller would have had more protection shipping directly to the forwarding center but whatever.   Seller seems not to understand seller protection here. 

4.  The OP/buyer then suggested well we still need to cancel this transaction and start over with a new one.  I mean if the seller just ships to a different address then the OP paid with and didn't start a new transaction they really wouldn't know what they are doing at all.  The initial transaction could be won with a simple INR...they'd have to invoice extra for shipping through paypal...yeah trying to do this under the first transaction would be a mess so the OP is correct in telling the seller if they want to ship it straight international to them they need to start over with a fresh transaction.

[castlemagicmemories]

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@rodericedga_0wrote:

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@castlemagicmemorieswrote:

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@myangelandmyprincesswrote:

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@chrysylyswrote:

Seems like the seller has told you in more ways than one that they really don't want to ship to you, so why do you persist?

Request to cancel and it seems like the seller will be more than willing to comply.

---

You've gotten so stuck on the forwarding address issue that you don't agree with that you haven't even read what the op has Said apparently.   The buyer said they would cancel.  Seller offered to ship directly to the buyer. The buyer is worried about buyer protection since changes cost and address from original purchase 

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OP said this after they said they would cancel:

I've already suggested the seller cancel the sale, refund my money, and then re-list the item separately with international shipping so I can buy that, but didn't get a response to that.

So cancel was not a straight out cancel but was coupled with a request to relist as the OP specified.  Op was still pursuing the purchase.

---

Nope - you're just making up your own fantasy now because you want to buy into it.

As I've consistently said, I contacted the seller to apologise for causing concern and assure it was a genuine act, and I sent him a cancellation request. 

The seller didn't cancel, asked me for more info, and it's him who started floating the idea of shipping to me direct and charging extra postage. Concerned about contravening eBay rules, it was only THEN that I suggested he list one copy of the item separately with international shipping so that we're both covered under the final terms of the sale and clearly staying within the rules.

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Sorry, OP, not a fantasy.  That was a direct quote from your OP.  He may have started the info exchange but you suggested this and did not reiterate you wanted a cancel.  IF you were concerned about breaking Ebay rules, you would not have responded with more info.   You would have stuck to your earlier request to cancel.  

IOW it takes two to tango, and that is what happened.  Either one of you could have sat down at the start.  I understand you wanted the item, but you did not stick to your request to cancel that you said initially.  

You would not be asking how to extricate yourself from this situation if you had been firm on your initial request to cancel, or had not sent more information to the seller after that request to cancel.  Since your question was how to get out of this situation at this point, you need to ask the seller politely if he would cancel.  

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The seller is completely in the wrong and the OP the buyer is being very understanding. 

1.  The buyer offering a US shipping address made this a domestic transaction for the seller.  The seller would have no right to refuse to ship it to a US address.  What the OP has done is allowed and they understood they took the risk with their shipment past the forwarding address.

Sellers may not be comfortable with their item ultimately being shipped overseas.  Paypal will hold the seller responsible even if the item was shipped to a freight forwarder, and they may not want to assume that risk.  

2.  Even still The OP understood if the seller was concerned about the forwarding address and said they would cancel.  

Yes, you are right, they did.

3. The seller then contacted the OP for more information and wanted to salvage the transaction themselves by offering to ship directly to the OP.  Which really the seller would have had more protection shipping directly to the forwarding center but whatever.   Seller seems not to understand seller protection here. 

And if the buyer had concerns as to whether he was going against Ebay policy, which he now says he has, it seems that these concerns would have been there at that point.  Possibly he assumed somehow the seller would utilize the transaction he already bought.  

4.  The OP/buyer then suggested well we still need to cancel this transaction and start over with a new one.  I mean if the seller just ships to a different address then the OP paid with and didn't start a new transaction they really wouldn't know what they are doing at all.  The initial transaction could be won with a simple INR...they'd have to invoice extra for shipping through paypal...yeah trying to do this under the first transaction would be a mess so the OP is correct in telling the seller if they want to ship it straight international to them they need to start over with a fresh transaction.

But that is a far cry from the original request to cancel that they OP said they made; OP is saying that he originally asked to cancel and he did, but OP did not stick to that which is how he ended up in this situation.

IMO both parties are at fault.  

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[castlemagicmemories]

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@gistjwrote:
I have not had any issues with shipping items to a freight forwarder address, as long as it shows "Eligible for Seller Protection" on the shipping page. At least one item per month last year. Where it goes after that is not my problem. Not sure why so many sellers freak out about this situation.

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Seller is still responsible for return shipping in the event of a SNAD~~and that can be very expensive.  Seller would win the case on Ebay but not on Paypal.