Living in Utopia: The kissing pool

[sockmonkeydave]

Living in Utopia
The Kissing Pool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=129kuDCQtHs

Now, I was not a "bad boy" but the old ladies at the Utopia, they were not so sure.
If you ride a motor bike, it is not IF you will put it on the ground, but WHEN.
So you wear moto cross boots, so you don't break a leg.
And leather so that you don't get road rash.
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Now the one thing that the little girl from number 13 and I have in common...
If you send a slow ball across the plate, we are gonna knock it out of the park.
And this day we hit a home run, I was full on James Dean.
6 old ladies were on the back steps of the Utopia, doing what old ladies do, gossip.
I pulled up to the curb, took my leather jacket off and threw it on the ground.
I pretended to mess with the carb, but I was just making noise.
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I had a pack of Luckys rolled up in the left sleeve of my tee shirt.
I pulled one out and lit it off the tail pipe of my bike.
I put the lucky out by flicking the fire off the end, then I put the half lucky back in the pack.
In my best James Dean I said, Nice day ladies, but they were stone cold.
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I went in the door, but I held it open just a crack, and I heard the old ladies talking.
One of the old ladies said "he is a bad influence on the girl in 13."
"He will break her heart, then we will have to put him in the rose garden"
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Mildred ( the old lady who sets off her smoke detector on a regular basis )
Said "they are in love, but they don't know it yet"
I will tell you this she said, if I was 21 again, I would be on the back of that bike.
One night when she burnt a single slice of toast, she brought out a photo album.
Mildred had been a real looker when she was a girl, 60 years ago.
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Mildred said "I have 5 bucks on they will kiss this week"
It seems Mildred had won the pool on who would catch us holding hands.
The old girls were placing bets on when we would kiss, and who would start the kiss.
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Now when I get new tires, there is a tele track just down the block.
So I go have a beer, and watch people put bets on horses.
One day I ask an old man how you knew what horse to bet on, he looked around.
That guy over there he said, with the calculator and note pad, he is all math.
They were taking bets for the next race, and I pulled out 2 bucks.
What is your favorite color he said... if a jocky is wearing that, you bet on them.
Betting on horses is like betting on love, there is no sure thing.
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The old girls were placing bets and making odds on when we would kiss.
And like old men at the track they went into all the factors in play.
The odds were 2:1 that we would kiss, but they all had different time frames of when.
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Then one old gal said I have 5:1 that he doesn't know how to kiss a girl.
And after that first bad kiss she will find a boy who knows how to kiss.
And there was much discussion of the quality of the first kiss.
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I closed the door, went up the stairs, and knocked on the little girl from number 13's door.
I said do you know the old ladies are placing odds on when we will kiss?
Well, she said, the old ladies make bets on all kinds of things.
Like who will be on Sundays OBIT page, and if a boy and girl will kiss.
Mildred won the "where we would be caught holding hands," she made bank on that one.
That is if you call 6 old ladies making bets with a 5 buck limit, bank.
But Mildred had fixed the game, she would burn bacon at just the right time,
and both the girl and I would come from different floors, and end up in Mildred's unit.
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Mildred had put me through a few "dry runs", before the little girl got home from work.
Being the Boy Scout that I am, I would run down the stairs and try to find if there was a fire.
But no, it was just Mildred burning a single slice of bacon.
I only knocked on the door one time, and the door was opened in a second.
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Mildreds unit was filled with the smell of burnt bacon, and much smoke.
Is there a fire? I said... Mildred looked a little sheepish, I burnt bacon she said.
I opened the windows and Mildred brought me a cookie sheet.
( a cookie sheet is not a good way to move air around )
By now I had pulled the battery out of that screaming smoke detector.
When the air was clear, Mildred brought out a snifter of brandy.
"Have you met the little girl from number 13" she ask?
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After she heard what the odds were, the little girl said, do you have any money?
I had a 5 for gas and another for beer, she pulled them from me.
Don't worry she said, the girls will put gas in the bike, and we get dinner and a movie.
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Now, just play loose she said, you are James Dean, and I am the nice girl in # 13.
There will be a time whe I "swoon" you do know what that is right?
It's when a girl falls into a boys arms, in a fake faint, catch me before I hit the steps.
You go down to the laundry room and stand by the east window, don't smoke.
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I could not see the old ladies, but I could hear them talking.
Then the little girl came out, she sat a couple of steps down where I could see her.
She turned around and gave me a wink, there was much talk of the obit pool.
It seems they only bet on "natural causes" not murder or freak accidents.
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The little girl gave a fake sob that only girls can do, "he thinks I am ugly she sobbed"
This caused all the old ladies to start talking at the same time, and I don't speak old lady.
I held his hand in the laundry room, and I am giving him clues to kiss me, but he won't.
I want to kiss him so bad it makes me hurt, she had set the hook.
The 5:1 lady said " I say he does not know how to kiss a girl"
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The little girl pulled out the 2 five buck bills.
About this time a car went by with no muffler, so I could not her final bets.
But the little girl was tapping her foot, it was time for me to go into action.
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I lit a lucky and made my way down the steps, "nice day ladies"
When I got to the bottom of the steps, the little girl said "biker boy, hey biker boy"
Give me a hit off your Lucky, so I flipped it to her, she caught it in the air.
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You ever kiss a girl she said, ( now I had just kissed her before I told her the odds )
She jumped into my arms and gave me a hard kiss, then she whispered "swoon".
And she played it too, she batted her eyes and said, girls this boy knows how to kiss.
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And that is how the old ladies of the Utopia paid for our dinner and a movie.