Just to lighten the mood......

[annindallas]

Let us not forget those ebay sellers, good and bad, alive and dead, who forged our path.

If I could do it all again, I would.

S1 Ep1

Outside a boardroom in a building.....somewhere.

Good morning, sir.

   Are they all here? 

Yes, sir.

   What are all those boxes in the atrium?

Oh. One of the salespeople told the Girl Troopers of America that if they advertised with us, every Girl Trooper in America would get her own pony. So now Legal says we all have to eat a box of these everyday for the next sixty years.

   And the ambulance?

Oh. The salespeople are having a meeting downstaira and aftwr the last few meetings.......I thought just as a precaution, sir.

   Good.

Sir....sir, we have a problem on the Webinar room. I'd ask somone else but everyone mysteriously disappeared.

   What's the problem?

Its the camera, sir.

   So call Sony.

I did, sir. Their respnse was.....cryptic.

(Silence. Three beats.)

Yes, sir. I'm on it.

(Sound of gavel)

    Will the meeting come to order. The minutes od our last meeting show a divide in going forward. I trust you've all had time to rethink your positions. So let's get to it.

   All in favor of Subway: Six.

All in favor of chicken wings: Six.

(Booming Voice)

Attention: If there is a child in the building, please bring the child to the Webinar room. Repeat: Bring a child to the Webinar room. We need someone to turn on the camera.

Don't we have any programmwrs here?

We sent them all home, remember? They all amellwdike pizza and wouldn't change their clothes.

And then there was that 30 million dollar phone bill because they wanted to talk to astronauts in the Space Station.

But it worked out great. They made their own program so they can log in and out. And we could peek in and make sure they were working and not asleep on a beach somewhere.

These guys are geniuses. Do you know that they have direct deposit set up for every thirty minutes?

I heard one programmer has been typing nonstop for twelve days.

(Silence. Someone in the back is typing furiously into phone.)

What are you doing?

I'm trying to buy my neice a drone. All I'm getting are ebay youtube videos.

(Loudly to Google)

Ebay. Drones......Not. Ebay. Droning.

You don't google it. You go to the ebay website.

Fine, Smartypants. Here. Let's see you do it.

(Buzz)

   When the child is done in the Webinar room, have it wair outaide the boardroom. Give it some cookies.

   How are we doing on theMillenoum wristwatches?

Not so good. Surveys show that consumers dont want to wear a wach that movea once a year.

   We'll have to fix that.

(Buzz)

Have the survey people here in an hour....Now, remember team, these are anonymous surveys so everyone use your unique handwriting so we know who said what.

  CBack to the agenda. It looks like I'm the deciding vote......Well, thats why they pay me the big bucks, so I cam make these difficult decisions.

(Silence. Five beats.)

    Chinese. All in favor?

(moans and muffled disparaging remarks)

    Carried.

(Sound of gavel)

[cargo11]

Tune in again next week..............

[tool_world]

I am really sorry but I stopped reading after the first paragraph

[robbr_6713]

Huh? That made no sense at all...

[pur3-madn3s5]

Owo What's this?

[fisstan0 · Accepted solution]

Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.

Costello: Funny names?

Abbott: Nicknames, nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third--

Costello: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.

Abbott: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third--

Costello: You know the fellows' names?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well, then who's playing first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The fellow playin' first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first base.

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: Well, what are you askin' me for?

Abbott: I'm not asking you--I'm telling you. Who is on first.

Costello: I'm asking you--who's on first?

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it.

Costello: Who is?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: So who gets it?

Abbott: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Who's wife?

Abbott: Yes. After all, the man earns it.

Costello: Who does?

Abbott: Absolutely.

Costello: Well, all I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: Oh, no, no. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Costello: St. Louis has a good outfield?

Abbott: Oh, absolutely.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field?

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: Stay out of the infield! The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because.

Abbott: Oh, he's center field.

Costello: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Wouldn't this be a fine team w i t h o u t a pitcher?

Costello: Tell me the pitcher's name.

Abbott: Tomorrow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Costello: Now, when the guy at bat bunts the ball--me being a good catcher--I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now, that's he first thing you've said right.

Costello: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Abbott: Don't get excited. Take it easy.

Costello: I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to tomorrow--a triple play.

Abbott: Yeah, it could be.

Costello: Another guy gets up and it's a long ball to center.

Abbott: Because.

Costello: Why? I don't know. And I don't care.

Abbott: What was that?

Costello: I said, I DON'T CARE!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop