Urgent - suicidal note

[or_couture]

Hey,

I want to make sure I am doing the right thing.

If you got a note with a heavy suicidal scent from a buyer saying "I have nothing to live for/I wish I was dead ASAP" - what would you do?

[18704d]

Reports can be false.

Google: Police Swatting

Those websites don't differentiate between Knowing the sender's address .. or not. 

They have the ability and proper skills .. to deal with it the right way.

Lynn

[18704d]

And emerald, I do thank you for your responses here....

I wonder?

Does eBay have any official stance or policy .. on such perceived threats received by their members???

Thanks

Lynn

[missjen831]

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@a_c_green wrote:

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@emerald40 wrote:

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@18704d wrote:

"When you are dealing with a person in crisis who is suicidal ...."

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And only the authorities,

could ascertain whether the message actually came from a suicidal person ... or not.

Lynn

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I am not following.

Yes you contact the authorities, the police, but the ones who can get to this person the quickest which would be the ones in her hometown.

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If I may just point out something to both of you here that I have not seen mentioned...

If you dial 9-1-1, you'll get your own police department or emergency line (obviously). You can't directly dial that person's emergency number anyway. The best you could do would be to look up their direct-dial non-emergency number on-line someplace, hope that someone answers, explain the issue to that person, and hope that they can re-route your call, or otherwise relay your info to their emergency services. 

It would be a much better use of your time to call your own 9-1-1, explain it to them as quickly and clearly as possible, and then let them reach out to the other person's local PD via whatever resources they have to do so (and I have no doubt that they can).

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FWIW, in many cities the non-emergency number goes to the same place as a 911 call, to the dispatch center. If you call my local police’s non emergency, you get one of their dispatchers. If you call 911, you get a 911 dispatcher (same as a law enforcement dispatcher but they are only taking calls & passing off the info. So calling non emergency can be faster than 911 sometimes (unless of course you get a busy signal on the non emergency line. I’ve gotten one calling both numbers before). 

[emerald40]

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@18704d wrote:

It's already been stated here,

having :Your local law enforcement, call Their local police

is quicker and will be taken with more credibilty.

And not all online suicide threats are valid threats.

The police should be the ones to decide that.

Lynn

__________________________

Stated or just other poster's opinion?

And again why can't the police in her hometown decide that?

But forget about that for a minute.  If a person calls rescue and claims he is having a heart attack they do not assess him.  They send an ambulance.  Same with a person threatending suicide.  In my hometown, all calls to the police and to rescue - a car or an ambulance is sent out.  I am sure there are some calls that are wild goose chases, but police and rescue err on the side of caution.  You call and they come.   Even if you hang up to 911 and they cannot reach you, they still come out. 

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[emerald40]

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@18704d wrote:

And emerald, I do thank you for your responses here....

I wonder?

Does eBay have any official stance or policy .. on such perceived threats received by their members???

Thanks

Lynn

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The same here it was a pleasure to have an adult conversation with you.

All I can say about ebay, is that one of the blues popped in up thread and said they were taking action as well.

[castlemagicmemories]

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@moms**art**window** wrote:
You were true to yourself and listened to your heart and should stand proud.One time i was in a restaurant someone was choking on some meat people were gathered around trying to do Heimlich maneuver having no luck something just made me run across the room reached down the throat and got that meat out "that quick" it would have been to late for the people that took a course in that kind of thing.

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I went through something similar.  A woman at work was choking in the back room (break room, lunch room) and I came up behind her and did the Heimlich manuever a few times.  She was coughing and turning blue.  The first few times didn't work but the third time did, I literally picked her up and I would have doubted I could do that.   But it flew out, and she was fine and very grateful.

[nowthatsjustducky]

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@or_couture wrote:

I see you sell care bears - that's exactly what I need to ship her! 

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I'd be happy to sell you one.  Heavens knows I need all the sales I can get.  And it is still early enough in the day, that if you are reading this now, I can even get it in the mail today.

[vintagecraze50]

Being a former licensed mental health counselor, I can say you NEVER take such a statement lightly from a person. They reached out at a moment that could have been the tipping point in their next possible action. I am so proud to be a part of a communtity that cares so much about  people here and the responses  here most definately show we have a wonderful caring community. 

[coolections]

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@gracieallen01 wrote:

Are you acquainted with the person?  If so, how well and how long?  And, what about a 'husband'?

Your posts make me think there is a whole lot more to the story than just a note, out of the blue, to a complete stranger, talking about suicide.

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I agree. A random Ebay person who is serious about suicide is not going to just message a complete stranger they've never met. I would have just deleted the message. 

[nowthatsjustducky]

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@vintagecraze50 wrote:

Being a former licensed mental health counselor, I can say you NEVER take such a statement lightly from a person. They reached out at a moment that could have been the tipping point in their next possible action. I am so proud to be a part of a communtity that cares so much about  people here and the responses  here most definately show we have a wonderful caring community. 

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Things you never joke about unless you are 100% certain that anyone who may overhear know you well enough to know absolutely positively that you are kidding:

1:  Suicide

2:  Shootings (mass or otherwise)

3:  Bomb threats or any other act of terror

4:  Threats toward the President or any other elected official, or their appointees (like judges or cabinet members for example)

[or_couture]

I want to thank anyone who has been participating in the disucssion.

And no, I do not know the person. She bought two items and shared a few details in private msgs, that's it.

You'd be surprised how many msgs I get from strangers sharing details about their family, jobs and what not..

About contacting eBay, it was after the 10pm custmer service cutoff time so there was no one to talk to on Ebay and regardless I felt that with something which might be pressing going to the Police might be the best option.

I showed them the msgs and asked for advice, which was to contact her local police department (I'm in CA and she's in a different state). They looked up the number and I called and sent her local police department the relevant information. When I got back home which was around 1am PST I had second thoughts if I acted like I was supposed to so opened the thread. After 2am PST the police called me and said they reached out to her and that she's OK.

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@coolections wrote:

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@gracieallen01 wrote:

Are you acquainted with the person?  If so, how well and how long?  And, what about a 'husband'?

Your posts make me think there is a whole lot more to the story than just a note, out of the blue, to a complete stranger, talking about suicide.

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I agree. A random Ebay person who is serious about suicide is not going to just message a complete stranger they've never met. I would have just deleted the message. 

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[moondogblues]

"Sadly in this very litigious society I tend to agree. Who knows what confidentiality rules you might violate. My sugggestion would be to CALL EBAY immediately and let them handle the situation. Don't intervene as you could say something to help, but in their altered, drunken or drug addled mental state they could TOTALLY hear something else. I have had this happen in person at bars where I try to help a drunk and then get accused of doing something that I neither said nor did. If they then go on to kill themselves ,then the family could SUE and you may lose everything even though you were trying to help. It is terrible but you really can't risk yours or your family's future by intervening."

The Good Samaritan Law takes over in a situation like this.

[or_couture]

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@emerald40 wrote:

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@or_couture wrote:

Yeah I got her address and called her local police dep.

About msging, she didn't reply after I replied to her, which got me more worried.

_______________________________

That could be because the police took her to the hospital and she is getting the help she needs,

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No, I only went to the police after she didn't reply. ~1H later.

[or_couture]

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@emerald40 wrote:

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@or_couture wrote:

Ok. That's what I did.

I just feel bad thinking the police might knock on her door at 4am waking her husband and he wouldn't know what's going on... 😕

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If he is living in that house then this cannot be a surprise to him that his wife is in crisis.

He cannot be that oblivious.

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You'd be suprised how many spouses have no idea what their counterpart is going through. 

It's off topic but I have a friend like that. Her husband is so tied up at work he doesn't see anything. She's miserable but he thinks she's happy. Serisouly. It could happen.

[moondogblues]

"So your local police need to somehow trace it."

OP has the address, this is from a buyer.