Urgent - suicidal note

[or_couture]

Hey,

I want to make sure I am doing the right thing.

If you got a note with a heavy suicidal scent from a buyer saying "I have nothing to live for/I wish I was dead ASAP" - what would you do?

[nowthatsjustducky]

I would try to locate their nearest prevention organization or police department and forward it to them, with a follow up call.  That is something you do not mess around with.

[or_couture]

Ok. That's what I did.

I just feel bad thinking the police might knock on her door at 4am waking her husband and he wouldn't know what's going on... 😕

[moms**art**window**]

you can get the zip code from send offer,maybe ask quickly why in the meantime,gently keep them talking,then call suicide prevention hotline in that area and get advice from them.

[or_couture]

Yeah I got her address and called her local police dep.

About msging, she didn't reply after I replied to her, which got me more worried.

[or_couture]

I see you sell care bears - that's exactly what I need to ship her! 

[moms**art**window**]

We have 3 jumpers a month on the Skyway,they have phones at the top,they don't think,very impulsive action

[lewisburggold]

You did the right thing.  Good job.  Best regards

[18704d]

"maybe ask quickly why in the meantime,gently keep them talking,t"

---------

My MIL used to volunteer at a suicide prevention hotline.  (back in land line days)

The calls came to our house.

It takes considerable training and skill to adequately deal with people in this situation.

I would Not recommend any untrained eBayer to attempt such a conversation with a person contemplating suicide.

I would not have responded to such an eBay message,

and I also see reasons why I wouldn't automatically contact the authorities.

(for fear of my own personal safety).

Thanks,

Lynn

[z240dude]

Sadly in this very litigious society I tend to agree. Who knows what confidentiality rules you might violate. My sugggestion would be to CALL EBAY immediately and let them handle the situation. Don't intervene as you could say something to help, but in their altered, drunken or drug addled mental state they could TOTALLY hear something else. I have had this happen in person at bars where I try to help a drunk and then get accused of doing something that I neither said nor did. If they then go on to kill themselves ,then the family could SUE and you may lose everything even though you were trying to help. It is terrible but  you really can't risk yours or your family's future by intervening.

[turquoisetulips]

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@or_couture wrote:

Hey,

I want to make sure I am doing the right thing.

If you got a note with a heavy suicidal scent from a buyer saying "I have nothing to live for/I wish I was dead ASAP" - what would you do?

---

From what I understand  about  this issue  ,, people who really want to do away with themselves  just go ahead with it  without contacting anyone about their intentions . A message like the one you received is a cry for help . I remember a time that my mom had a neighbor  who made these types of wanting to die comments . My mom called her church  and together  they got  the police dept. involved  and quickly this poor  neighbor was receiving therapy . My mom received the nicest thank you note  from this person  a few months later . I believe you did the right thing in contacting the authorities . You may have saved this person further anquish and quite possibly her life . Kudos  !  Tulips 

[moms**art**window**]

i disagree

[turquoisetulips]

and I also see reasons why I wouldn't automatically contact the authorities.

(for fear of my own personal safety). 1870  unquote 

I believe the OP did the right thing  by trying to get this distraught person some  help . I don't quite understand  why you feel your personal safety would be in jeporady  if you responded in kind ?  Tulips 

[turquoisetulips]

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@z240dude wrote:

Sadly in this very litigious society I tend to agree. Who knows what confidentiality rules you might violate. My sugggestion would be to CALL EBAY immediately and let them handle the situation. Don't intervene as you could say something to help, but in their altered, drunken or drug addled mental state they could TOTALLY hear something else. I have had this happen in person at bars where I try to help a drunk and then get accused of doing something that I neither said nor did. If they then go on to kill themselves ,then the family could SUE and you may lose everything even though you were trying to help. It is terrible but  you really can't risk yours or your family's future by intervening.

---

I think this is why  calling the proper authorities trained to handle these situations  was the best  course of action .  Tulips

[7606dennis]

I would contact law enforcement and give them the information I was able to provide.  If in direct communication with the subject I'd probably try to keep them engaged in conversation until authorities had time to act on the situation.

While we do live in a society that finds litigation a participation sport, most states have Good Samaritan laws for such cases.  Of course, there could be a case made that not doing anything could be considered negligence.