You can no longer contact sellers that block you. Is this a good policy?

[kevhael]

I recently went to purchase an item from a seller and got the blocked buyer message:

"The seller isn't accepting bids or offers from you."

I had previously purchased a single item from this seller, paid the same day, and left 5 star positive feedback.  The only reason I can think of for why they blocked me is the fact that the first purchase was small and it was an international shipment.  If this is the case then I completely understand the block, though at the same time I would like the option to contact the seller in case they made a mistake (or are offering a more expensive item that would offset shipping costs).

I have also had a few sellers block me over the years (I believe I've been using eBay for over a decade at this point), and every time I contacted the seller they apologized and unblocked me.  Mistakes happen.  The new(?) system that blocks me from even contacting the seller means that these rare mistakes will remain permanent.  So:

1) Is this a common/significant enough issue for eBay to correct?

2) What would be a policy/system?  Maybe allow blocked buyers to send no more than a single message to the seller?

Just curious about people's thoughts on this, and if anyone else has had similar experiences.  Unfortunately, the item I'd like to purchase is an error card that I have not seen before.  It's not terribly expensive, but if I had the option to contact the seller then I would ask that they relist the item at a higher price so that I could cover the extra shipping costs.  Additionally, I'd request that they block me again after the purchase so we don't end up with a situation similar to the one that justified the block to begin with.

😕

[kevhael]

@kattinsanity

"Is this by chance one of the sellers you left a "thanks" for while leaving most other sellers a "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could"?  If so, those "thanks" feedback appear you weren't as happy with those sellers as you were with most others.  That could lead a seller to add you to their list."

I hadn't considered that, thank you for pointing it out.  I definitely left the usual "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could" for the item.  Though going through my feedback left for others, I did see one where I accidentally pasted in an artist name over the feedback.  Just sent them a quick message apologizing, so thank you for inadvertently bringing that to my attention!   : )

On a side note, would it be better if I left a more generic "Thank you" feedback message for everyone?  My thought process was that people might see the "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could" feedback and trust the seller more (justified based on my experience with them), while people seeing the "thanks" positive feedback would just see it as another generic positive feedback message (no damage).  The idea was that I could reward good/great sellers instead of punishing sellers for a sub-par experience by giving lower ratings.  I personally don't consider sub-par experiences worthy of an automatic ratings ding.

[kattinsanity]

I used to leave the same old~~same old feedback for everyone.  Then they changed the feedback page so I started leaving different individual feedback because I couldn't figure out how to just get the list of feedback I've left & click on which ever one I wanted.  Since I started doing that more buyers have started leaving feedback for me as well.  Buyers don't feel like they are "just another buyer" when they see you left that feedback especially for them and that they didn't get the same old feedback you leave for everyone.  It really has increased the number of buyers who leave feedback in return.

[castlemagicmemories]

---

@kevhael wrote:

@kattinsanity

"Is this by chance one of the sellers you left a "thanks" for while leaving most other sellers a "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could"?  If so, those "thanks" feedback appear you weren't as happy with those sellers as you were with most others.  That could lead a seller to add you to their list."

I hadn't considered that, thank you for pointing it out.  I definitely left the usual "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could" for the item.  Though going through my feedback left for others, I did see one where I accidentally pasted in an artist name over the feedback.  Just sent them a quick message apologizing, so thank you for inadvertently bringing that to my attention!   : )

On a side note, would it be better if I left a more generic "Thank you" feedback message for everyone?  My thought process was that people might see the "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could" feedback and trust the seller more (justified based on my experience with them), while people seeing the "thanks" positive feedback would just see it as another generic positive feedback message (no damage).  The idea was that I could reward good/great sellers instead of punishing sellers for a sub-par experience by giving lower ratings.  I personally don't consider sub-par experiences worthy of an automatic ratings ding.

---

@kevhael

You are a thoughtful and considerate buyer and your integrity and consideration is refreshing in this day and age when it is more than likely someone who is blocked will appear on the Boards, insisting on getting their way, and vowing eternal punishment and vengeance on the seller~because after all, they (the buyer) did NOTHING wrong!

Yet when more info comes out, it is VERY clear why the seller blocked.

In your case, I don't see anything other than the international shipping.  

As far as feedback, I like the way you have been doing it~by trying to leave feedback that shows just how great you feel the transaction was, and by merely acknowledging one that weren't great with a simple thanks.  

However, there is another option that many buyers use.  They simply don't leave feedback in those situations.  They save negs and neutrals for truly egregious behavior, but in circumstances where things were NOT great, but you can live with the transaction, just don't leave any feedback.

Some examples:

I am very intentional when I leave or don't leave feedback.  There have been instances where I did not leave feedback and received a PM from the seller, stating they left positive feedback for me, please do the same.  I explained that I have a reason when I do not leave feedback and I did not think you would want future buyers to see that the rare, fragile, vintage porcelain figurine was shipping in a plastic poly mailer.

Another instance where I was contacted, I explained that I did not leave feedback because I did not think that you would want future buyers to see that there was significant undisclosed damage on this piece, and I proceeded to detail all of it.

Apologies all around.  

Your choice of course~I just think it is better to truly appreciate those who gave you a great buying experience in your feedback.

[kevhael]

 @kattinsanity

"I used to leave the same old~~same old feedback for everyone.  Then they changed the feedback page so I started leaving different individual feedback because I couldn't figure out how to just get the list of feedback I've left & click on which ever one I wanted.  Since I started doing that more buyers have started leaving feedback for me as well.  Buyers don't feel like they are "just another buyer" when they see you left that feedback especially for them and that they didn't get the same old feedback you leave for everyone.  It really has increased the number of buyers who leave feedback in return."

Very interesting, I had no idea that the feedback messages would still have an impact these days.  Once I had crafted (what I considered) a solid feedback message, I figured the only people who would actually read it would be potential buyers.  I do appreciate the insight into the "other side" of eBay, so thank you : )

To be honest, ever since sellers were no longer able to leave negative feedback for buyers, I cared way less about feedback as a buyer.  At this point (as a buyer), feedback is just a matter of numbers and not a true reflection of the quality of buyer I am.  I'll admit that I was happy that feedback could not be used in a retaliatory fashion against buyers, but at the same time this seemed like the silver lining to a fairly massive cloud that undermined the entire point of the feedback system.

These days if a seller is truly exceptional I'll sometimes tweak the feedback I leave, but I'll always follow up in a PM expressing my appreciation in more detail - assuming I don't forget, bah! 

[kevhael]

@castlemagicmemories

"You are a thoughtful and considerate buyer and your integrity and consideration is refreshing in this day and age when it is more than likely someone who is blocked will appear on the Boards, insisting on getting their way, and vowing eternal punishment and vengeance on the seller~because after all, they (the buyer) did NOTHING wrong!

Yet when more info comes out, it is VERY clear why the seller blocked.

In your case, I don't see anything other than the international shipping.  

As far as feedback, I like the way you have been doing it~by trying to leave feedback that shows just how great you feel the transaction was, and by merely acknowledging one that weren't great with a simple thanks.  

However, there is another option that many buyers use.  They simply don't leave feedback in those situations.  They save negs and neutrals for truly egregious behavior, but in circumstances where things were NOT great, but you can live with the transaction, just don't leave any feedback.

Some examples:

I am very intentional when I leave or don't leave feedback.  There have been instances where I did not leave feedback and received a PM from the seller, stating they left positive feedback for me, please do the same.  I explained that I have a reason when I do not leave feedback and I did not think you would want future buyers to see that the rare, fragile, vintage porcelain figurine was shipping in a plastic poly mailer.

Another instance where I was contacted, I explained that I did not leave feedback because I did not think that you would want future buyers to see that there was significant undisclosed damage on this piece, and I proceeded to detail all of it.

Apologies all around.  

Your choice of course~I just think it is better to truly appreciate those who gave you a great buying experience in your feedback."

I really appreciate the kind words, and thank you yet again for your in-depth replies.  It's never fun to feel the (justified) automatic disdain/disregard of a community, but getting an explanation of where the community is coming from makes a world of difference.  

Your alternative to leaving bland positive feedback notes is actually very appealing, and it makes more sense to boot.  Unless a seller is unnecessarily abrasive in their message, I don't mind leaving 5 star feedback and following up after to let them know any issues I had with the transaction.  Thank you for the advice!

[vintagecraze50]

Sellers sometimes just go with a gut instinct or a blatant reason why they block from something that was in a message, something perhaps in feedback left for others which suggests this is a difficult buyer. Sometimes the blocks happen because you are excluded because of international shipping, non pay issues, no pay pal account. As another poster said, there are few protections in place for sellers and one is the block bidder list. Most people I think do not block unless something really set off a gut instinct that this is not going to be a good transaction.

[castlemagicmemories]

---

@kevhael wrote:

@castlemagicmemories

"You are a thoughtful and considerate buyer and your integrity and consideration is refreshing in this day and age when it is more than likely someone who is blocked will appear on the Boards, insisting on getting their way, and vowing eternal punishment and vengeance on the seller~because after all, they (the buyer) did NOTHING wrong!

Yet when more info comes out, it is VERY clear why the seller blocked.

In your case, I don't see anything other than the international shipping.  

As far as feedback, I like the way you have been doing it~by trying to leave feedback that shows just how great you feel the transaction was, and by merely acknowledging one that weren't great with a simple thanks.  

However, there is another option that many buyers use.  They simply don't leave feedback in those situations.  They save negs and neutrals for truly egregious behavior, but in circumstances where things were NOT great, but you can live with the transaction, just don't leave any feedback.

Some examples:

I am very intentional when I leave or don't leave feedback.  There have been instances where I did not leave feedback and received a PM from the seller, stating they left positive feedback for me, please do the same.  I explained that I have a reason when I do not leave feedback and I did not think you would want future buyers to see that the rare, fragile, vintage porcelain figurine was shipping in a plastic poly mailer.

Another instance where I was contacted, I explained that I did not leave feedback because I did not think that you would want future buyers to see that there was significant undisclosed damage on this piece, and I proceeded to detail all of it.

Apologies all around.  

Your choice of course~I just think it is better to truly appreciate those who gave you a great buying experience in your feedback."

I really appreciate the kind words, and thank you yet again for your in-depth replies.  It's never fun to feel the (justified) automatic disdain/disregard of a community, but getting an explanation of where the community is coming from makes a world of difference.  

Your alternative to leaving bland positive feedback notes is actually very appealing, and it makes more sense to boot.  Unless a seller is unnecessarily abrasive in their message, I don't mind leaving 5 star feedback and following up after to let them know any issues I had with the transaction.  Thank you for the advice!

---

You do touch on the other alternative to not leaving feedback if less than pleased.  Sometimes I leave a positive and all 5 stars as well, and either before or after doing so, I send a message saying that Not all buyers may be as understanding, so I need to let you know that...and I explain what the problem was.  Hopefully you get a good response when doing that, but it is possible that your seller will not be appreciative or understanding of the fact that you are just trying to help them avoid a problem down the road.  

So you can either leave good feedback and explain, or just not leave any.  Somehow people have come to think feedback is owed them, when it is voluntary, and the buyer who does not leave feedback when less than pleased is making a statement by not posting any, which can be to the seller's advantage.

[missjen831]

---

@kevhael wrote:

@kattinsanity

"Is this by chance one of the sellers you left a "thanks" for while leaving most other sellers a "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could"?  If so, those "thanks" feedback appear you weren't as happy with those sellers as you were with most others.  That could lead a seller to add you to their list."

I hadn't considered that, thank you for pointing it out.  I definitely left the usual "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could" for the item.  Though going through my feedback left for others, I did see one where I accidentally pasted in an artist name over the feedback.  Just sent them a quick message apologizing, so thank you for inadvertently bringing that to my attention!   : )

On a side note, would it be better if I left a more generic "Thank you" feedback message for everyone?  My thought process was that people might see the "all 5 stars-I'd leave more stars if I could" feedback and trust the seller more (justified based on my experience with them), while people seeing the "thanks" positive feedback would just see it as another generic positive feedback message (no damage).  The idea was that I could reward good/great sellers instead of punishing sellers for a sub-par experience by giving lower ratings.  I personally don't consider sub-par experiences worthy of an automatic ratings ding.

---

Personally your feedback of “thanks” doesn’t bother me as a seller and doesn’t raise any red flags or give me the impression you were less than happy with the transaction or the item. So not all sellers are looking at your feedback left & seeing red flags and warning signs. Based on your responses here you seem like a reasonable person and a not a short tempered hot head like some of the blocked members who come here. I would sell to you (if I still sold on eBay LOL), other sellers may intercept your feedback left for others differently & see red flags but I’d like to think that most wouldn’t think Anything of your feedback that says only “thanks”.

[castlemagicmemories]

---

@kevhael wrote:

 @kattinsanity

"I used to leave the same old~~same old feedback for everyone.  Then they changed the feedback page so I started leaving different individual feedback because I couldn't figure out how to just get the list of feedback I've left & click on which ever one I wanted.  Since I started doing that more buyers have started leaving feedback for me as well.  Buyers don't feel like they are "just another buyer" when they see you left that feedback especially for them and that they didn't get the same old feedback you leave for everyone.  It really has increased the number of buyers who leave feedback in return."

Very interesting, I had no idea that the feedback messages would still have an impact these days.  Once I had crafted (what I considered) a solid feedback message, I figured the only people who would actually read it would be potential buyers.  I do appreciate the insight into the "other side" of eBay, so thank you : )

To be honest, ever since sellers were no longer able to leave negative feedback for buyers, I cared way less about feedback as a buyer.  At this point (as a buyer), feedback is just a matter of numbers and not a true reflection of the quality of buyer I am.  I'll admit that I was happy that feedback could not be used in a retaliatory fashion against buyers, but at the same time this seemed like the silver lining to a fairly massive cloud that undermined the entire point of the feedback system.

These days if a seller is truly exceptional I'll sometimes tweak the feedback I leave, but I'll always follow up in a PM expressing my appreciation in more detail - assuming I don't forget, bah! 

---

I do that, too!  I leave magnificent feedback but in some instances, I send a message stating just how wonderful and fantastic the seller was!  

I believe most people in this world are unappreciated.  Some may look at it as they are just doing their job.  But I feel that excellence should be acknowledged, that person needs to know that they are appreciated.  It only takes a minute but can make someone's day/week/year/millennium!  Not bragging, but I take that minute.

Believe me, most people are thrilled that you care enough to do this!  After all, who doesn't like to be praised for what they have done?

[kevhael]

@vintagecraze50

"Sellers sometimes just go with a gut instinct or a blatant reason why they block from something that was in a message, something perhaps in feedback left for others which suggests this is a difficult buyer. Sometimes the blocks happen because you are excluded because of international shipping, non pay issues, no pay pal account. As another poster said, there are few protections in place for sellers and one is the block bidder list. Most people I think do not block unless something really set off a gut instinct that this is not going to be a good transaction."

This makes total sense, and the fact that sellers are way less protected than buyers means that sellers need to be vigilant.  A few "false positives" is a small price to pay to avoid the headaches of terrible buyers.  I definitely don't take it personally; I'm mostly just bummed that I (as a likely false positive)  don't have the opportunity to clear the air to the benefit of us both.  Situations such as this highlight the importance of eBay developing policies that benefit all parties involved.  Focusing almost entirely on buyer confidence undermines the entire point of a peer-to-peer platform.  

[kevhael]

@castlemagicmemories

"You do touch on the other alternative to not leaving feedback if less than pleased.  Sometimes I leave a positive and all 5 stars as well, and either before or after doing so, I send a message saying that Not all buyers may be as understanding, so I need to let you know that...and I explain what the problem was.  Hopefully you get a good response when doing that, but it is possible that your seller will not be appreciative or understanding of the fact that you are just trying to help them avoid a problem down the road.  

So you can either leave good feedback and explain, or just not leave any.  Somehow people have come to think feedback is owed them, when it is voluntary, and the buyer who does not leave feedback when less than pleased is making a statement by not posting any, which can be to the seller's advantage."

I have done this in the past as well!  I always leave 5 star positive feedback first so I can begin my message with the disclaimer that the seller's feedback is not at risk.  I know I would appreciate a heads up if I did something wrong, so I do my best to extend this courtesy to others.  I had not thought to take this approach as an alternative to leaving a generic/mediocre feedback message though, so I'm glad you pointed this out as an additional option  : )

[kevhael]

@missjen831jen_proudleowife

Personally your feedback of “thanks” doesn’t bother me as a seller and doesn’t raise any red flags or give me the impression you were less than happy with the transaction or the item. So not all sellers are looking at your feedback left & seeing red flags and warning signs. Based on your responses here you seem like a reasonable person and a not a short tempered hot head like some of the blocked members who come here. I would sell to you (if I still sold on eBay LOL), other sellers may intercept your feedback left for others differently & see red flags but I’d like to think that most wouldn’t think Anything of your feedback that says only “thanks”.

Thank you for the reply and the compliment!  I think most people (buyers and sellers) don't pay much attention to their own feedback beyond the numbers (and color, of course).  It's more likely that the only people reviewing feedback messages will be prospective buyers/sellers checking the other party's feedback , especially when something seems fishy about a transaction or communications.  In this case, generic feedback messages are the last thing to catch one's eye.

[kevhael]

@castlemagicmemories

"I do that, too!  I leave magnificent feedback but in some instances, I send a message stating just how wonderful and fantastic the seller was!  

I believe most people in this world are unappreciated.  Some may look at it as they are just doing their job.  But I feel that excellence should be acknowledged, that person needs to know that they are appreciated.  It only takes a minute but can make someone's day/week/year/millennium!  Not bragging, but I take that minute.

Believe me, most people are thrilled that you care enough to do this!  After all, who doesn't like to be praised for what they have done?"

Yes!  That is my exact thought process as well, though I realized after a while that it goes beyond just showing appreciation of excellence.  Some people not only go the extra mile, but constantly go the extra extra foot and the extra extra extra inch.  I know it can be subconsciously disheartening to care about minor details that nobody (seemingly) ever notices; it's impossible to notice every consideration that comes my way, but when I do notice I like to acknowledge them in some way.

A quick example, I felt like a complete goof when I sent a seller a thank-you message for folding one edge of the tape back on the inner packaging to make it easier to open.  I don't believe I received a reply (it was a pretty random thing for which to thank someone), but my hope was that they at least subconsciously recognized that even their minor consideration was appreciated.  If they can spend the time and effort on something many people might not notice, I can live with feeling like a goof for a bit   : )

[kattinsanity]

This probably sounds dumb but when I get feedback from a buyer I always look to see what kind of feedback they leave other sellers.  When I get a generic "thanks" I feel like I did something wrong at 1st but feel a whole lot better when I see that's the same feedback they have left other sellers~~page after page.  When I get feedback praising my fast shipping, etc.  I find it's the same thing they tell all the other sellers so I don't feel special but at least my item and my fast shipping lived up to his expectations and that's fine with me. 

As a buyer I don't even look to see what feedback a seller leaves other buyers~~it's most likely the same generic feedback anyway.

[castlemagicmemories]

I agree, Kat, but sometimes the feedback they leave for buyers can tell you how they will treat you if there are any issues, and if there is a pattern, that might change your mind about buying from them.

Just a thought.