Retaliatory feedback after refusing to bypass return process — advice?
Seeking guidance: negative feedback tied to refusal to combine transactions/bypass return process
I’m looking for perspective from other sellers on a feedback situation that seems to be evaluated too narrowly by support.
This involves two separate transactions with the same person:
In the first transaction, I was the buyer. That transaction involved a delayed item (a book). Regardless of the outcome, that transaction closed and is separate from what followed.
After that, the same person then purchased an item from me. During this second transaction, the buyer asked that I include the previously disputed book inside the new shipment as a way to resolve the prior transaction.
I refused because combining a new order with the return of an item from a prior transaction would bypass eBay’s return and tracking process and would prevent eBay from properly recording that item as returned.
It became clear through the message exchange that the buyer was not actually interested in the item being purchased, but was attempting to use the transaction as a workaround to avoid providing a prepaid return shipping label for the prior item. For that reason, I did not proceed with the transaction and canceled it.
After the cancellation, the buyer left negative feedback stating that I canceled the order.
I requested feedback removal, explaining that the feedback was retaliatory and tied to my refusal to act outside eBay policy. However, the feedback review is being handled strictly as a single transaction and denied solely on the basis that I canceled the order, without considering the broader context or the message history between the two transactions.
Has anyone else experienced feedback being left after refusing to combine transactions or bypass eBay’s return process?
If so, were you able to get feedback removed after escalation, and what approach or wording worked?
Any insight from experienced sellers would be appreciated.
dhbookds
·8 months agoI don't see a neg on this account?
mamacassidy
·8 months agoIt was there, it looks like they got it removed.
christworks
·8 months agoIt was there 15 minutes ago. OP must have contacted them through social media.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoJust wanted to follow up and thank everyone who took the time to weigh in and share their perspectives. The feedback here was genuinely helpful and led to a bit of a Hail Mary escalation where I reframed the issue strictly around the single transaction and the buyer’s post-purchase request to change the terms of the sale.
I’m happy to report that eBay reviewed it again, agreed that the buyer asked to change conditions after purchase, and removed the negative feedback.
I really appreciate the time, insight, and support from this community. It made a difference, and I’m grateful for everyone who contributed.
Thanks again.
fern*wood
·8 months agoGlad you were successful, but I still wonder what reason you used to cancel their purchase.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoThe cancellation was due to an incomplete shipping address. The buyer provided only their name, city, postal code, and country, with no street name or house number. Even though the shipment would have gone to eBay’s international forwarding hub in Illinois, an address that incomplete would not have allowed the package to be properly routed.
Given that omission, combined with the buyer’s simultaneous demand in the order notes that I include a non-listed item in the shipment, it became clear to me that this transaction was not intended to be completed normally. In my view, the incomplete address was deliberate and designed to ensure the package would fail delivery while still creating leverage over the transaction.
Between the altered terms of the sale and the intentionally unusable address, the order could not proceed responsibly and was canceled.
mamacassidy
·8 months agoJust FYI, when someone orders through the EIS program and you ship to the hub, the order doesn't show the buyer's full address.
Ex:
mamacassidy
·8 months agoAnd also, if this was going to the hub, you were crazy to cancel the sale!!
Once it reaches the hub, you're covered. If they had claimed they didn't get it or it was not as described, ebay would have taken care of it.
You let that one get away...
fern*wood
·8 months agoWow, another detail I didn't know when I responded. If that purchase was through the eiS program, I would have shipped it out (with or without the book) as fast as possible. That was a nice sale.
christworks
·8 months ago@tihocleo
eBay refunded you for the item you bought because it did not arrive on time. The moment eBay refunded you, that transaction was closed. You indicate there was an open return, but I don't see how that is even possible since the transaction was closed and you had already been refunded. There was no "return process" to bypass.
As @mamacassidy pointed out, your own words paint a picture where you sent the seller an unsolicited offer to return the book to them but at their expense. That seller may very well have decided to try to offset the cost by buying something from you they could flip, and then asking you to include the book with it. I see nothing wrong with this. However, they muddied the waters by putting that note on the transaction.
What they should have done was to say, "Hey, thanks for offering to send me the book. I'm going to buy XYZ item from you. Would you be okay putting that book in with the XYZ item I will buy?" It does not sound like they reached out before they made the purchase, and I think that was their mistake. I have no problem with them asking you to do that, though, because you volunteered to return the book anyway. They were not asking for you to include something as a part of the new transaction. They didn't buy a pair of shoes from you and say, "Hey, will you include some socks?" This was a matter of convenience. Some may see this as a technical violation of policy, and I get that.
In my opinion, you did not think this through. You jumped the gun and accused the seller of trying to circumvent policy when that was not even an issue here. As a result, you committed a far greater sin. You cancelled an order. You didn't say, but what reason did you give? Did you take the hit and cancel it due to being out of stock, or did you pin it on the buyer? If the latter, you definitely deserved that negative, 1000%, and eBay correctly denied your appeal.
Time to move on, pal. Correction: It appears eBay has removed it. IMHO, they got that wrong, and the negative should have remained on the OP's account.
Next time, think things through. Come here if you aren't sure about a situation, but share the whole truth. You didn't do that in your original post, so it misled some to jump to your defense without knowing all the facts.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoThanks for taking the time to write this out. A few clarifications so the facts are accurate:
1. I never stated there was an “open return†in the eBay system. What I said was that once the book eventually arrived (after the refund), the seller reached out and requested that it be returned. At that point, I offered to send it back if a prepaid return shipping label was provided, which is the standard, trackable way to handle it once a transaction is closed.
2. Regardless of anyone’s intent, the key issue with the second order is not “convenience†in the abstract; it’s that the buyer placed a condition in the order details / buyer note asking me to include an additional item that was not part of the listing. That creates a documentation and tracking problem and puts the seller in a position of shipping items not reflected in the transaction.
3. On the feedback point: within the last 60 minutes, after applying advice shared by members of this forum, eBay completed a further review of the buyer note and order details and removed the negative feedback, explicitly stating that the buyer asked to change conditions of the sale after purchase and the order was canceled. The matter is now resolved.
I’m not interested in re-litigating motives or arguing with anyone here. I posted to learn from others, took the useful input, escalated in a policy-focused way, and eBay made a final decision.
Appreciate the perspective.
fern*wood
·8 months agoWhat a mess. No, I've never heard of anything like this before to know of a clean solution. First of all, the first transaction was a not received case, which doesn't have the same options as a not as described return. That case was closed. They wouldn't have an option to have ebay provide you a return label, but they could have figured out a way to buy a label and send to you for the book. (There is now a new ebay protection where an item that was refunded and then delivered would be repaid to the seller if they qualified).
On the second part of this. They bought an item (rather expensive one it seems) and wanted you to send the book back to them along with the item. (That's thinking outside the box.) I don't know if they were sincerely wanting this item, but if they didn't ask to cancel, you would be obligated to ship it. Sending the book back with it wouldn't have bothered me since the first case was closed, it wouldn't be bypassing anything. It might cost you more postage, though, and they might have then returned your item, but we're guessing here.
I don't cancel without a clear path to no defects for doing so. What reason did you use? For me, that would be a bigger potential issue than the feedback.
mamacassidy
·8 months ago.....................................
tihocleo
OP8 months agoJust to clarify the timeline on the first transaction, since that context seems to be causing confusion:
I purchased the book on November 25 as a Christmas gift. By December 24, the package had not arrived and, for all practical purposes, appeared lost. I opened a case with eBay stating that the item did not arrive, and eBay ruled in my favor and issued a full refund.
The package was ultimately delivered on January 2, 2026. At that point, I informed the seller that I was happy to return the book as soon as they provided a prepaid return shipping label.
Instead of providing a return label, the seller then initiated the second transaction, purchasing an item from me and stating in the buyer note that I should include the book in that shipment. I declined because that would bypass eBay’s return and tracking process, which is what led to the cancellation of the second order and the subsequent negative feedback.
Hopefully that helps clarify why the second transaction wasn’t a normal purchase and why the issues are connected.
albertabrightalberta
·8 months agoSheesh! No good deed goes unpunished.
You were under no obligation to return the book once you got the refund even if it was delivered.
Your honesty and integrity came back to bite you. Shame on that seller/buyer.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoThank you I really appreciate the perspective, especially coming from an eBay mentor.
I understand that once the refund was issued and the case was closed I was under no obligation to return the book. The reason I even engaged further was because the seller later demanded that it be returned which is what ultimately led to the second transaction being created instead of a straightforward prepaid label.
All good now though and genuinely grateful for the insight and support from this forum.
mamacassidy
·8 months agoSo you were already refunded for the book. That first transaction was already closed. He wasn't asking for the book back, you offered to send it back.
Are you sure he didn't want the item he purchased from you and just thought he'd kill 2 birds by having it sent back with his package?
I think at this point, ebay is going to say that first transaction was closed. Not an open return. So this new transaction is totally separate. And you cancelled.
I don't think ebay will remove the feedback based on this new information.
I edited my earlier post.
albertabrightalberta
·8 months agoIf the message to return the original purchase with the current item purchase was in an ebay message, you can report was requesting something that wasn't included in the listing.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoYes, the request was explicitly stated in the buyer’s notes and messages on eBay. That was pointed out to eBay during escalation and is documented in the message history. Despite that, the feedback reviews continued to focus only on the cancellation of the second transaction and did not factor in the message content or the context that led to the cancellation.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoFor clarity, this was the buyer’s note included with the second purchase (verbatim):
Buyer note:
“You could please send that Jim Rohn Book with this item in the package, thank you for your cooperation and all the best regards.â€
This note was made in reference to a prior, already-disputed transaction and was a request to combine a new purchase with the return of an item from that earlier transaction, rather than using eBay’s return process. That context was raised with eBay during escalation, but the feedback review continued to evaluate only the cancellation of the second order in isolation.
albertabrightalberta
·8 months agoThis is the perfect example of why it's a good idea to have a separate buying account.
bonanza125
·8 months agoSo basically you purchased something from this seller and then the seller had a hissy fit because the seller refused to pay for return shipping so the case closed and then this seller decides to buy something from you for the sole purpose of getting the item back in which you declined so they left negative feedback for you. Is this correct?
Unfortunately if you filed an appeal with Ebay to have your feedback removed and they decided not to remove it then the feedback stands. If you did contact customer support and have the case reviewed again and explain the situation there are no guarantees removal will happen cause you cancelled the transaction. What you can do now is reply very politely to the feedback stating facts about the situation and also block this person. If you haven't left feedback left for them I say do so but only you as the buyer. You can't leave bad feedback as a seller. This is not a person you want to deal with again.
tihocleo
OP8 months agoYes, that’s essentially correct, with one important clarification.
The second purchase was not a legitimate attempt to buy the item. The buyer explicitly requested that I include the previously disputed item in the new shipment as a substitute for providing a prepaid return label. I declined because that would bypass eBay’s return and tracking process and prevent eBay from properly recording the return.
After I refused and canceled the transaction, the negative feedback was left. I’ve attempted multiple times to resolve this through eBay support, but each review has looked only at the second transaction in isolation and focused solely on the fact that I canceled the order, without considering the message history or the context of the prior transaction that prompted the cancellation.
I understand eBay’s position procedurally, but the feedback is tied to dissatisfaction with my refusal to act outside policy, not the normal buyer experience of that transaction.
I’ve blocked the buyer and will be posting a factual public reply to the feedback, as suggested. I appreciate you confirming that this isn’t someone worth engaging with further.